Cannot be more depressed...

[nosoul]

Brain function is declining, get zero sleep other than some drugged hours, laying in bed hating the sunshine, why can't I overcome my SI and do my SN protocol?

I think about it everyday, I'm not only at my low, but no future especially as I act bedridden because I'm always sleep deprived.

This sucks badly my chance at normal life is over:(

 

[downndone2]

I feel this. I am either in bed miserable or at work.

I hate the sun and I hate my life. I'd do anything not to wake again

 

[nosoul]

I feel this. I am either in bed miserable or at work.

I hate the sun and I hate my life. I'd do anything not to wake again

At least you are working, now I feel incapable of restarting, put an insomnia death sentence and destroyed my health with drugs. on myself but yeah man maybe work makes you more depressed I wish I had health and purpose, now just all gone.

 

[downndone2]

At least you are working, now I feel incapable of restarting, put an insomnia death sentence and destroyed my health with drugs. on myself but yeah man maybe work makes you more depressed I wish I had health and purpose, now just all gone.

Idk, I was miserable and wanted to die before I started this job. Think I'm indifferent other than the money I bring in

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful and tiring what you have to go through. I do think that those who have SN in this hellish world where it's becoming more and more restricted are fortunate though, as it's a reliable poison. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[nosoul]

That sounds really awful and tiring what you have to go through. I do think that those who have SN in this hellish world where it's becoming more and more restricted are fortunate though, as it's a reliable poison. But anyway I wish you the best.

Getting myself to do it has been the challenge, no sleep again last night.

That sounds really awful and tiring what you have to go through. I do think that those who have SN in this hellish world where it's becoming more and more restricted are fortunate though, as it's a reliable poison. But anyway I wish you the best.

Getting myself to do it has been the challenge, no sleep again last night

 

[peaceindeath]

Brain function is declining, get zero sleep other than some drugged hours, laying in bed hating the sunshine, why can't I overcome my SI and do my SN protocol?

I think about it everyday, I'm not only at my low, but no future especially as I act bedridden because I'm always sleep deprived.

This sucks badly my chance at normal life is over:(

Life is what it is. We have no choice. The only choice we have is either to accept and go on, or end it all. Life as a human is brutal with our capacity to feel pain.
Giraffes in the wild only sleep around 45 mins per day. It doesn't bother them. We humans have too many conceptions and expectations. We are not part of nature .

'Giraffes sleep less than most other mammals, especially in the wild. Out on the savannah, giraffes are constantly on the move to avoid predation, so their day is broken up into about 8 5-minute sleeps over 24 hours, giving them anywhere from 30-60 minutes of sleep a day'

 

[nosoul]

Life is what it is. We have no choice. The only choice we have is either to accept and go on, or end it all. Life as a human is brutal with our capacity to feel pain.
Giraffes in the wild only sleep around 45 mins per day. It doesn't bother them. We humans have too many conceptions and expectations. We are not part of nature .

'Giraffes sleep less than most other mammals, especially in the wild. Out on the savannah, giraffes are constantly on the move to avoid predation, so their day is broken up into about 8 5-minute sleeps over 24 hours, giving them anywhere from 30-60 minutes of sleep a day'

Humans can't do this, I'm proof I get lost walking around town and it's only been month and a half

 

[Pengu]

Brain function is declining, get zero sleep other than some drugged hours, laying in bed hating the sunshine, why can't I overcome my SI and do my SN protocol?

I think about it everyday, I'm not only at my low, but no future especially as I act bedridden because I'm always sleep deprived.

This sucks badly my chance at normal life is over:(

Maybe theres still some hope inside u thats preventing u from ctb. Hmmmmm maybe u should try taking baby steps towards getting into a routine. Idk how sick u are but if u can leave your bed then maybe make some coffee, go out, DON'T do drugs , listen to music and make friends! i could be your friend :D tho i am not online a lot and share your problems. I used to give 1 dollar to people in exchange of them telling me about their life idk why i did it but i did! thats all i had to say ( btw if u want to go with ctb i respect your decision i am not here to downgrade your choice and i can understand how hard it is to do mundane tasks when u are depressed, i myself have suicidal thoughts 24/7 T^T) anyways whatever u choose to do i hope u find peace and happiness <3
also try meditation it helps me a lot to collect my thoughts and lower my anxiety
ZEN THE FUCK OUT

Life is what it is. We have no choice. The only choice we have is either to accept and go on, or end it all. Life as a human is brutal with our capacity to feel pain.
Giraffes in the wild only sleep around 45 mins per day. It doesn't bother them. We humans have too many conceptions and expectations. We are not part of nature .

'Giraffes sleep less than most other mammals, especially in the wild. Out on the savannah, giraffes are constantly on the move to avoid predation, so their day is broken up into about 8 5-minute sleeps over 24 hours, giving them anywhere from 30-60 minutes of sleep a day'

but humans aren't giraffe

 

[nosoul]

Maybe theres still some hope inside u thats preventing u from ctb. Hmmmmm maybe u should try taking baby steps towards getting into a routine. Idk how sick u are but if u can leave your bed then maybe make some coffee, go out, DON'T do drugs , listen to music and make friends! i could be your friend :D tho i am not online a lot and share your problems. I used to give 1 dollar to people in exchange of them telling me about their life idk why i did it but i did! thats all i had to say ( btw if u want to go with ctb i respect your decision i am not here to downgrade your choice and i can understand how hard it is to do mundane tasks when u are depressed, i myself have suicidal thoughts 24/7 T^T) anyways whatever u choose to do i hope u find peace and happiness <3
also try meditation it helps me a lot to collect my thoughts and lower my anxiety
ZEN THE FUCK OUT

but humans aren't giraffe

Everything saddens me I don't listen to music watch tv,gave my dogs away to ctb, then when it comes time I'm afraid to go thru w protocol. My SI is making me suffer waiting for food to digest, another attempt tonight I don't know, I don't want to go through this life anymore, it is too fucked and I won't make it long with this insomnia

 

[Pengu]

Everything saddens me I don't listen to music watch tv,gave my dogs away to ctb, then when it comes time I'm afraid to go thru w protocol. My SI is making me suffer waiting for food to digest, another attempt tonight I don't know, I don't want to go through this life anymore, it is too fucked and I won't make it long with this insomnia

aww :( have u tried any medicine to help u sleep :((
i feel sad for u

 

[nosoul]

aww :( have u tried any medicine to help u sleep :((
i feel sad for u

Yes many they don't help. I'm just moving hotel to hotel. Have SN here haven't courage to do it yet

 

[Pengu]

Yes many they don't help. I'm just moving hotel to hotel. Have SN here haven't courage to do it yet

oh :(( at least eat some good food while ur at the hotel, don't eat from the hotel fridge THEY ARE SCAMMERS :>

 

[nosoul]

oh :(( at least eat some good food while ur at the hotel, don't eat from the hotel fridge THEY ARE SCAMMERS :>

It's a real shit motel, I'm poor, and never hungry anymore but thx

 

[Pengu]

It's a real shit motel, I'm poor, and never hungry anymore but thx

T^T I AM SORRY I AM SO BAD AT CONSOLING PEOPLE
how are u feeling rn tho

 

[nosoul]

There is no consolation, I'm just waiting to go crazy die of brain degeneration

 

[Pengu]

; -;
i poopoo....
nvm ignore that i am weird .,.

 

[bigdog]

Brain function is declining, get zero sleep other than some drugged hours, laying in bed hating the sunshine, why can't I overcome my SI and do my SN protocol?

I think about it everyday, I'm not only at my low, but no future especially as I act bedridden because I'm always sleep deprived.

This sucks badly my chance at normal life is over:(

Yeah it sucks when you understand that chances at normal life are over. I also still hesitate because a bit afraid of something going wrong and becoming disabled.