Kamiotesoro

Kamiotesoro

✌️
Apr 27, 2020
45
So for me it is a way of punishment for the actions I do and the consequences that follow. The more blood I see the more relieved I feel. If a cut is not deep enough or there was not enough blood I would continuously punish myself in other forms. Sounds weird but that's what it be
 
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MeriDeath

MeriDeath

Im on the edge of reality
May 10, 2020
213
I remember I used to cut myself when I was 17. I'm 25 now. I used razor blades, never a knife because I didn't know how to cut. It was good. I hate the feelings of being hurt and I can't stand to see blood but well after a while I stopped because I wasn't really fond to all this.
 
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B

Brokenwithbpd

Mage
Jun 15, 2020
503
Not sure how to do a spoiler. But I've been cutting for 21 years. I would get hundreds of stitches at a time. I actually enjoyed it! But I have a sick mind
 
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F

Fullof pain

Student
Jul 1, 2020
124
OOPS, don't know how to use spoiler system!! If I had a brain cell i'd be dangerous !!
 
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justkindahere

justkindahere

Member
Jun 28, 2020
12
If I'm being honest I started cutting for attention bc I felt like it was the only way I could make people see that I really did need help. Now I only ever do it when I'm full of adrenaline and don't know how else to make it go away.
 
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BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

---
Apr 8, 2020
1,635
So for me it is a way of punishment for the actions I do and the consequences that follow. The more blood I see the more relieved I feel. If a cut is not deep enough or there was not enough blood I would continuously punish myself in other forms. Sounds weird but that's what it be
I don't think it's weird, I understand how you feel. :hug:
 
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H

heraclitus

Student
May 22, 2020
120
For me self-harming helps to suppress suicidal urges, it is a way of hurting myself without actually killing myself. It is a form of self-punishment, a bit like restricting my eating. I also dissociate a lot and the pain and physical action of self-harm helps to bring me back to the here and now.
I so identify with your reply!
 
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Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
810

Been cutting since I was 16; when I first started it was a form of self punishment. I would cut deep and not treat it. Now its a way for me to feel something when I'm numb or to translate emotional pain into physical pain. Also its a quick and easy method to get a hit of that sweet serotonin (very addictive imo). Started with kitchen knives (would not recommend), then went to razor blades. Sometimes I heat my blades or stub myself.
 
Last edited:
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M

Midnight-rain

Student
Jan 1, 2020
191
To put it simply, it's a coping mechanism. I feel stresed? Angry? Bored?Depressed? Dissociating? I hurt myself. Think of it like drinking or smoking, it's just not socially acceptable.
 
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Folie

Folie

Member
Jul 14, 2020
36
I started cutting when I was 20-21 years old. I'm 37 now, and have a lot more control over it. The last time I cut was almost exactly two years ago when my BFF passed away suddenly. I think the emotion that made me cut the most though over all was frustration. Still to this day it is the hardest emotion for me to cope with. It wasn't the pain that did it for me. It was seeing the blood. It was like a release. If there was no blood it did absolutely nothing for me. That still applies today. I'm just way better about stopping myself. Before, I wanted to cut over the smallest things that upset me, and I felt like I HAD to or I was going to explode or pop. Now, I have way more control over it, thank goodness, and seem to only cut over major depressions in life.
 
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Mooshi

Mooshi

Across space and across time, I will be there.
Jan 13, 2020
205
If someone get triggered from that question I'm sorry, It's not a question Stemming from criticism, I'm just trying to understand

What exactly do you feel that causes you to this actions?, do you enjoyed it in some way? It was a release? Or totally something else? The pain don't bother you?
In other words- what do you think you are going to get by doing this?

Please use the spoiler function for your answers

Thanks :notsure::nomouth:

I usually do it when I'm really angry or upset. Or if someone hurt me emotionally, it's a way of saying screw you

Yes, I like the sting

Kind of a release

The blades I use don't really hurt to badly

A momentary relief from the anger, or payback in a way on someone who hurt me..
 
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PillowSia

PillowSia

~Patchwork~
Mar 2, 2020
19
I don't think I saw it mentioned here, so I'd like to add that when you experience pain, your brain releases endorphins that act on your opiate receptors. It's a very, very mild form of morphine, and does more to your head than just mute the pain you just endured. These endorphins are also released because being in pain releases dopamine inherently, so if 'low dopamine' is your style of depression, it can feel like a quick and easy temporary fix.
 
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E

Emily123

Arcanist
May 28, 2019
460
i do this because I am angry . A surgeon made an irreversible damage to my forehead and frontal sinus and there were times that i liked to destroy /break the bone . Most of the time that i harm myself i punch to my face and head or i try to break my facial bones with something hard
 
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D

draw a circle

out.
Apr 10, 2020
300
I did it when I'm angry, sad, or anxious, and when I did it I feel lighter. It's like releasing a steam. Like when I was going to cry/get mad or getting anxious/panicked, I'd cut using my nails or teeth or punch myself (i don't use blades) and my head instantly clears. It helps when the pain is physical, I think. I also did it as a punishment sometimes, but it doesn't work.
 
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PoisonedJuliet

PoisonedJuliet

You saucy boy!
Feb 12, 2020
1,191
If someone get triggered from that question I'm sorry, It's not a question Stemming from criticism, I'm just trying to understand

What exactly do you feel that causes you to this actions?, do you enjoyed it in some way? It was a release? Or totally something else? The pain don't bother you?
In other words- what do you think you are going to get by doing this?

Please use the spoiler function for your answers

Thanks :notsure::nomouth:
I feel stuck. Cutting makes me feel like I have control. I try to control every single aspect of my life because I can't control myself. Cutting helps to numb myself. I don't really enjoy it but I like the affects of it for a moment. The pain is what I like. I don't like having the cuts on me the day after or having to clean up. The pain and seeing myself hurt is what I want. It's a pretty fucked up thing I know
 
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