Bullying from my best friends/lovers

[Pangolin]

Looking for moral support I suppose? Last Thursday, I had a small breakdown during my school's lunch hour. I'd given my boyfriend a gift, and being that I was already on edge due to weather/grades/newly aware of medical problems/general life shit, I pushed him to open it. He said I was passive aggressive about it, and got pissy. I broke down. I didn't realize I was being passive aggressive, if I even was (I'm slightly autistic, I genuinely can't tell). He got mad at me for crying because I hurt him. I have a history of breaking down, especially in public places. He says this is 'inappropriate' which I mean I guess? But why does it matter when my mental health is at an all time low, and I need support? Either way, he got very upset, but after I calmed down he seemed to too. Well, he didn't. He's been taunting me ever since. I didn't go to school until the last period, just to see him, on Friday. He got very upset, said he didn't need me. It's worth mentioning that I'm in a polycule, and our other boyfriend took his side. I'm devastated. All yesterday he argued with me, blocking me and unblocking me, both of them calling me retarded, stupid, idiot, things along those lines. They call me a name that is very simular to my own, but two characters are swapped, so it's like a taunt. In our discord server they changed my nickname to [name] the asswipe. I hardly even know what I've done! I cried, I got overwhelmed, and it was right after I got him a gift. I've isolated myself to the point where they are my only friends, not to mention my deep seated fear of rejection and abandonment. They're using this to their advantage. Without them, I've got nobody real. I don't know what to do. I've never felt more useless and powerless. I just want to be loved.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm sorry to say but that relationship, with either of the boyfriends, is a toxic relationship. They sound like your personal bullies and the whole exchange and behaviour is nothing like a healthy romantic relationship, or any relationship for that matter, should be.

I'll go a bit further and say that you've accepted the love you think you deserved - no love at all.

I'm sorry you're going through such torment from the people that should love you...what you did really doesn't require the kind of behaviour that they had with you. I think you need to reevaluate this relationship and the people in it.

This is a personal thing and it's okay if you disagree but I'm feeling the need to say it: you don't need 2 boyfriends, you need 1 good boyfriend. Most people that have poly relationships either want a free pass on cheating or have no idea how relationships work. You don't have to change your mind just because I said this, I'm sure I'm not the first saying it, I just felt like I should mention it since you're obviously young and you're hurting. You don't need to accept subpar relationships, you deserve better.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I'm sorry to say but that relationship, with either of the boyfriends, is a toxic relationship. They sound like your personal bullies and the whole exchange and behaviour is nothing like a healthy romantic relationship, or any relationship for that matter, should be.

^
you deserve better. someone that really loves you at the very very least wouldnt openly humiliate you like this.

In our discord server they changed my nickname to [name] the asswipe.

let alone everything else they did.

 

[Pangolin]

Yes, you're both right, and I've known this for a long time, but I just can't strip myself from them. I've been trying for a very long time, each time I get close it's mental torment. They were my best friends, I've known them for over a decade. It just sucks so fucking bad

 

[Suicidebydeath]

You deserve better, you won't know until you get away from them. Friends and lovers don't bully and put each other down, that's toxic.

 

[Young.Werther]

I mean it's ultimately up to you, but maybe take a moment and figure out which is actually worse: staying with these people or leaving them and being alone.

Neither one is great, but (in my experience at least) there is a degree to which you get used to being alone. TV/movies/books/etc help, and you can try to find some other people to interact with (although I know this can be tough). Just my thoughts, and certainly it sounds like you'd still have to interact with them to some extent at school. You know yourself and the situation best, I hope you find something better!

 

[lita-lassi]

jfc they sound like 14 year olds

you can do way better