Beat my head in again. Not as bad as last time yet but the full coloring hasnt set it. But the bumps are bigger than a golf ball smaller than a baseball. I am tired but cannot sleep because im wired. Im so full of fucking rage and hate for exhistence and humams in general. If i had a button thatd wipe everyone out. Id say my goodbyes to my family and press it while holding my cats. Cuz im a selfish bitch when it comes to them.
I wish everytime this happens i hit the right spot and i never wake up. I am so tired of living amongst the human plague. Its been 40 years of this feeling. Yet i remain a coward to fucking useless to kill myself correctly. I chicken out every time i raise the barrel to my head. Ive tried strangulation, starving, cutting, ive been tempted to drive off of a cliff when my breaks failed because the people didnt do them right trying to go home. I hope they die painful too. Or at least loose everything and struggle till they die. Retribution is deserved. But i didnt cuz i figured my luck id survive to pay for the medical bill and clean up. I hate this shit. I just want it done with. I just want to be done its only going to get worse as i go and i just wanna be done. I cant go back and time and stab me in my mothers stomach though ive imagined if i had a time machine id have kicked her down so mamy stairs just so i wouldnt be forced to be here. I fucking hate everything to do with this life shit and wish my bruises were bullet holes.
I wish everytime this happens i hit the right spot and i never wake up. I am so tired of living amongst the human plague. Its been 40 years of this feeling. Yet i remain a coward to fucking useless to kill myself correctly. I chicken out every time i raise the barrel to my head. Ive tried strangulation, starving, cutting, ive been tempted to drive off of a cliff when my breaks failed because the people didnt do them right trying to go home. I hope they die painful too. Or at least loose everything and struggle till they die. Retribution is deserved. But i didnt cuz i figured my luck id survive to pay for the medical bill and clean up. I hate this shit. I just want it done with. I just want to be done its only going to get worse as i go and i just wanna be done. I cant go back and time and stab me in my mothers stomach though ive imagined if i had a time machine id have kicked her down so mamy stairs just so i wouldnt be forced to be here. I fucking hate everything to do with this life shit and wish my bruises were bullet holes.
