Bridge Jumper today + Jealousy and Need for attention

[artwoe]

Just got news someone is trying to jump off a bridge in the area. Closed down the entire bridge and freeway ahead of it. Is it weird I wish that were me? Both having come so close to CTB and having all that attention. I find the "people CTB for attention" take to be so annoying and stigmatizing, but honestly i'm an attention whore at heart. My need for attention is equal to my need to CBT. Could this be a result of my BPD? Anyone else feel this way? Or am i really just "crazy"? Feel free to share similar experiences

 

[acerace]

I think its something similar to wishing that people knew what you're going through?
l feel bad for whoever that is though imagine getting to that point, being so close to the edge, and in the end having people make a spectacle of you. That's a big reason why I haven't jumped from the closest bridge.

 

[artwoe]

I think its something similar to wishing that people knew what you're going through?
l bad for whoever that is though imagine getting to that point, being so close to the edge, and in the end having people make a spectacle of you. That's a big reason why I haven't jumped from the closest bridge.

yeah i think about that a lot. that maybe if someone actually understood how it felt to exist as i do, maybe the help i need would show itself. and id magically be cured.
and agreed, its probably so dehumanizing to be chased around and retrained like that in such a public way. But its a risk we take by doing something so publicly as well.

 

[acerace]

Totally I don't think it would help me feel better but it would be nice if I didn't have to fake it all the time.

and agreed, its probably so dehumanizing to be chased around and retrained like that in such a public way. But its a risk we take by doing something so publicly as well.

Idk if you've seen videos of ppl saving someone from jumping it's idealized so much it makes me wanna puke like after you stop the person from jumping now what? That person will always have to deal with the humiliation and regret while the people who stopped them go on about life feeling like a fucking God.

 

[bloodblacknothing]

i think that taking your life in a way that could potentially catch more attention is understandable, and i completely get the hope that it might make others finally see the gravity of your situation, but i wouldn't recommend it -- you could be rescued, or potentially scar bystanders. whatever decision you make will be a valid one, of course, i'd just try to err on the side of least-collateral-damage.

i already tried to get the attention of my family once when i was younger, and that didn't do anything, so i've just sort of resigned myself to being completely alone when i go. part of me wants to tell my family what i'm going through right now, just as a final kind of "this is your last chance, fucking do something" test, but i know i'd just end up sectioned and they'd continue to absolve themselves.

 

[artwoe]

An update for anyone interested:

After almost 20 hours, the bridge has been reopened, as the man allowed first responders to bring him back up and take him to receive mental heath services. Im not sure how long they were struggling with him, what they did to get him to change his mind. I only hope his decision was his and his only. I hope that he finds peace no matter what steps he takes after this.