Venting Brain destroyed from years of stimulant use.

[TheCavernousDeep.]

I have been on high dose stimulants for like 4 years. Ritalin and Vyvanse. I used them to get through my time at a very competitive university (not that it even yielded any positive outcomes in the end). I tried to kick the habit this summer and felt my depression get a lot worse. I went back on the drugs but now I'm out and I can't get a refill, and I'm just so sad and useless all the time.

Serves me right for thinking I could get an easy leg up on other people. I guess my brain is just destroyed now, that's honestly how it feels. Idk if recovery is the right place to post this. There isn't a ton of hope in me right now.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Your current crash is coloring your perception of what you can hope for with recovery. 4 years is not too far gone. You can recover.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

Your current crash is coloring your perception of what you can hope for with recovery. 4 years is not too far gone. You can recover.

It's hard to feel like that rn I guess. IDK, I've been off them for a week and I just feel super depressed and unable to work. It's terrible.

 

[MissAbyss]

It's hard to feel like that rn I guess. IDK, I've been off them for a week and I just feel super depressed and unable to work. It's terrible.

You're going through withdrawal right now.
Try to get a refill as soon as possible. Being on high-dose stimulants for like four years and then abruptly stopping is asking for trouble, taper off properly. Good luck

 

[rs929]

I don't think there's any evidence that stimulants damage your brain permanently. I think that the depression is to blame
When I stop the stimulants I seem to get worse as well. I think you need a professional opinion as whether you should keep taking them or do some sort of detox. And the depression treated

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

I don't think there's any evidence that stimulants damage your brain permanently. I think that the depression is to blame
When I stop the stimulants I seem to get worse as well. I think you need a professional opinion as whether you should keep taking them or do some sort of detox. And the depression treated

I am worried about treating the depression. I don't really trust SSRI's.

And I've read some stuff that says your brain gets better at clearing out dopamine the longer you use stimulants. And that's like a chronic symptom.

Idk I hope it's just the withdrawal. I definitely am depressed normally but I just can't focus at all and the suicidal ideation is HUGE rn. I'd honestly justget back on the drugs but I didn't get a chance to meet with my psych and get a refill and I probably won't get another chance for at least a week.

Hopefully this is tolerance break or something. I was being pretty flippant with them before so maybe I needed this.

 

[iji]

Psych drugs truly fry the brain. It may take some years, but you can recover.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

Psych drugs truly fry the brain. It may take some years, but you can recover.

I think I got through the worst of the withdrawals now. The guy above was right that I think I was in the crash. But I've done some googling and there really are chronic long term effects from excessive stimulant use. I mean at my worst I was really taking quite a lot + caffeine + social media addiction so my brain just doesn't make dopamine like it used to. But yeah the depths of hell that I wrote this post from were definitely the withdrawals.

But yeah dude, psych drugs are crazy. the shit they just hand out to people is fucking bonkers, especially when you consider the vulnerable state their patients are often in.