Discussion BPD struggle, losing your beloved donts

[fluorescentpearl]

I've spoken with countless people with BPD that struggle with losing the one person they ever loved most, a Favorite Person, and a common sentiment shared is that telling us "it gets better" or "you'll find another" or "he doesn't love you" or whatever is NOT helpful

Maybe to you, or to someone who is fully neurotypical it is helpful, to us it is not, it only drives us up a wall and makes us angry hurt and less trusting

So I guess I'm just saying, maybe think twice before telling someone who's going insane ab their partner that it gets better and they can move on, or that it isn't worth it for one person, that's not at all what we need to hear and WILL make it worse

 

[FoolsExpedition]

this exactly. i've had 5 or 6 partners and plenty of attention, i know realistically that there are others. i also do try to get better i don't just sit here either. almost a year has passed and i still hurt like it was last week- that was my person, that's just how i (and i'm sure others) work.

 

[ugulamugula]

I wish i could repost this

 

[bl33ding_heart]

The "you can just find someone else" pisses me off more than anything. I'm not interested in loving and dedicating myself to anyone else, I just want my person.

 

[ugulamugula]

The "you can just find someone else" pisses me off more than anything. I'm not interested in loving and dedicating myself to anyone else, I just want my person.

Yes, yes, yes, yes

 

[pony No.2]

I've spoken with countless people with BPD that struggle with losing the one person they ever loved most, a Favorite Person, and a common sentiment shared is that telling us "it gets better" or "you'll find another" or "he doesn't love you" or whatever is NOT helpful

It seems like they only care about you moving on and finding someone else to love, all while knowing no one else and nothing else can replace that person. They only care about the distracting you from facing reality because they know there's nothing they or anyone can do.