
darkest
Trapped in this cycle, a figure of eight
- Feb 2, 2024
- 62
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And you would think being tired or exhausted would help si in the moment, but it doesn't. That's why drugging yourself for most other methods probably won't even work in the end.822 - I feel you so much, it just always finds a way to get you to do something so that you fail
one time i was too exhausted and SI was like, maybe you should sleep and do it another time
another time, I took a nap beforehand and set an alarm, SI: hOw AbOuT nO, and i stayed in bed until i fell asleep again
another time, i slept a lot beforehand so that i didn't need a nap, minor inconvenience happens that can be fixed, SI: ehhhh let's do it later, we messed up enough already.
another time, i had everything perfectly in place, i was literally getting hanged and was close to losing consciousness, SI: FOR THY I SUMMON THE URGE TO LIVE LIFE NO MATTER HOW ABSURD OR MISERABLE IT MAY BE also +100000 panic points that forces your body to get up...
im so fucking done :')
I dream really much of ending it all with a gun, but I can't get any :(Is its so awful that are own instincts made from evolution are disadvantaging us :c I really wish I had access to more methods, especially stuff like jumping or a gun as I can't back out in the middle of it.
821