Venting Boyfriend told me my feelings bore him, save it for my therapist

[Sweetsinking]

Well, story is I was telling him about the depressive episode I'm in and talking about our relationship and me wanting more effort from him, how me makes me feel insignificant. He said him saying he loves me should matter more than that....? Yea, well then he continued and said he doesn't care about how I feel, how it bores him, how I just wake up waiting to get in my emotions, how I should learn to sleep it off, how I victimize myself, mocked me saying "I hate my life" (I never say that to him lmfao) and to save all that talk for my therapist, only tell him good things.
He went on a very extensive ramble over a small plead for his effort. I'm surprised because he's never treated me like this for being in my feels. Guys, I know being suicidal over a relationship can be corny, but this was just the icing on the cake. I was literally talking to him about me being suicidal and feeling alone, apparently that's how he wants to respond. He gave me two shitty paragraphs in the middle of the night as an apology, what's been said has been said, idc. I've been with him since 2017.

Anyways thinking of getting a rope finally... all of the braided ropes are like 15-100ft lmao what do I do about that, try to cut through half of it? (id have to buy a blade too ig).

- Thank you all for your replies, especially putting in the effort to read this and respond with kind intentions -

 

[kopebaldy]

Sister, that's not your boyfriend, that's an emotion parasite.

Those people will syphon everything good out of you then leave.

 

[liquid jen]

Guys, I know being suicidal over a relationship can be corny, but this was just the icing on the cake. I was literally talking to him about me being suicidal and feeling alone, apparently that's how he wants to respond.

No, this is very much understandable, not corny. It's insane that he would treat you like that. Complete and total opposite of how someone who loves you should respond. I'm sorry that happened.

 

[Kurwenal]

I'm sorry you're in a relationship that is causing you harm. Nobody should be trapped with someone who doesn't respect them and their feelings. We can't control our innate feelings. And we should have a right to express them to those whom we love and trust, as a way both to help us understand and process the feelings for ourselves, but also to help them understand the situation we are in and what they can do to help. I know you've been with him for 8 years, and that is a long time. You said he has never treated you like this before. I don't know you and I don't know him. I can't guess at why he would react that way as a result of my ignorance. But whatever his reasons were, he hurt you in a truly vulnerable moment, and if he can't offer you any form of earnest apology, that's disgusting, in my opinion. Even if he had been some paragon of perfection in the years prior, his behaviour now is inexcusable.

I'm sorry this is what is pushing you to the edge. I'm sorry that someone who should have been there to love, support and care for you dismissed you so cruelly. If you need a safe space to express yourself, perhaps you can find that here, maybe even with a user whom you've interacted with before (I see you've been on this forum for some time).

I'm sorry you've been betrayed. I can only wish you peace within, whatever may come.

 

[axab43]

This has just happened to me only with a friend not a partner. I expressed how I felt, how I was feeling so vulnerable and getting closer and closer to "the edge" all the time. He said he did not want to hear it, that everyone felt like that at some point (no they don't, not seriously suicidal.) He also said we should keep it to ourselves and not tell others about it, not dump it on other people. He has done this before. But I have had a lot of bereavement and he is the only one left. I am mad at myself for putting up with him but it is all I have left.

So I understand how you feel. What do you do when those you are supposed to be able to trust just hurt you deliberately. I have pulled out all forms of communication for now,(the phone and Alexa.) I also have been feeling suicidal, which is why I came here and saw your post.

At least we know other people feel like we do and we are not alone.

 

[looking4partner]

Well, story is I was telling him about the depressive episode I'm in and talking about our relationship and me wanting more effort from him, how me makes me feel insignificant. He said him saying he loves me should matter more than that....? Yea, well then he continued and said he doesn't care about how I feel, how it bores him, how I just wake up waiting to get in my emotions, how I should learn to sleep it off, how I victimize myself, mocked me saying "I hate my life" (I never say that to him lmfao) and to save all that talk for my therapist, only tell him good things.
He went on a very extensive ramble over a small plead for his effort. I'm surprised because he's never treated me like this for being in my feels. Guys, I know being suicidal over a relationship can be corny, but this was just the icing on the cake. I was literally talking to him about me being suicidal and feeling alone, apparently that's how he wants to respond. He gave me two shitty paragraphs in the middle of the night as an apology, what's been said has been said, idc. I've been with him since 2017.

Anyways thinking of getting a rope finally... all of the braided ropes are like 15-100ft lmao what do I do about that, try to cut through half of it? (id have to buy a blade too ig).

- Thank you all for your replies, especially putting in the effort to read this and respond with kind intentions -

I am sorry, that is a very hurtful & painful response to you expressing your feelings & emotions. That sounds devastating. And I hope that his apology was sincere and he will realize the gravity of what he said to you.

(A lot of it also sounds like how my parents have talked to me about my mental health.)

An idea came to me, I hope it is okay to share what it is.

Is there any chance he would/could come to a therapist appointment with you?

If it is possible to work through it with him, and it's your choice if you want to do that, and it's the first time something like that has been said by him, and the apology was genuine, and he is open to hearing you with some type of neutral mediator without manipulating their interpretation, it seems like it wouldn't hurt to take a chance of having a therapist help with couples communication.

And I guess it would also show if he is possibly open to working on this relationship with you & better ways to communicate with you or take a break from a conversation if he needs/agree to set time to talk through it with the therapist & you instead of taking out his anger on you. Or if he's not. And maybe the therapist will also have ideas about some strategies that help with talking through relationship issues with each other and outside support strategies.

 

[Forveleth]

Run far, far away from that asshole. A partner that actually loves you should listen to your feelings and be willing to talk to you about them. He is trash.

 

[kissmegoodbye]

ive gone through the same thing too with my boyfriend and i just feel terrible.. a while ago when i had a big emotional breakdown he later told me he could've gone to do something fun but he just had to cheer me up.. why do all the people that are supposed to care about you always do this to you??? i know that of course i cant dump EVERYTHING on my boyfriend and its very very hard because of my illness, to differentiate between a legitimate reason to be sad and just another mood that'll pass by.. i dont know what to tell him and what not to and im starting to think i just shouldn't say anything at all anymore.. i dont want to burden him even more than i already have.. i understand your pain and i wish you the best in whatever you end up doing,, i hope you can find peace ♡ you deserve the best, no one deserves to have their feelings turned away like that.. im sorry for you ♡

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Fuck that guy. Dude's just an asshole.