Venting Both parents caught the bus yesterday

[BelaBartok]

They were both in a lot of pain and i saw this coming. My father had cancer and my mother had all sorts of medical issues — specifically an aggressive form of diabetes. She was on kidney dialysis and hated it. I guess they decided this on one of her appointments. I am not angry, but i can't stop but feel hurt. It is such a shocker. I want to feel supportive, but i can't help but feel confusion and hurt. This is the closest sign that my time will arrive. I am very much in a dark corner right now. They were both in their 60's, religious, but just couldn't deal with the pain anymore. They did it together. I am not that close with my siblings, so i can't help but feel alone now. I am hurt and feel that they didn't love me, but i know that is not the case. So many feelings are coming in and out.

 

[sickbeyondmeasure]

Can't imagine what you're going through BelaBartok. So sorry to hear about this. Through all this I hope you find emotional resolve.

 

[hella.physched]

They were both in a lot of pain and i saw this coming. My father had cancer and my mother had all sorts of medical issues — specifically an aggressive form of diabetes. She was on kidney dialysis and hated it. I guess they decided this on one of her appointments. I am not angry, but i can't stop but feel hurt. It is such a shocker. I want to feel supportive, but i can't help but feel confusion and hurt. This is the closest sign that my time will arrive. I am very much in a dark corner right now. They were both in their 60's, religious, but just couldn't deal with the pain anymore. They did it together. I am not that close with my siblings, so i can't help but feel alone now. I am hurt and feel that they didn't love me, but i know that is not the case. So many feelings are coming in and out.

Hey i know there isnt much we can say thatll ease the pain, & i know everything your feeling is just so chaotic & confusing… this is really hard to process… but take ur time, comprehending this is gna take a while. As for your siblings, you know them better, but this can be an opportunity to get closer.
I assure you that whatever your feeling they're feeling too, just differently.
Here if you ever wanna vent or just randomly talk <3

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Losing ones parents is hard and it causes much pain and sadness when we lose loved ones. Your parents took the choice to leave agony and suffering finally behind them, they are free now! I wish you strength to be able to go through this.

 

[BelaBartok]

Hey i know there isnt much we can say thatll ease the pain, & i know everything your feeling is just so chaotic & confusing… this is really hard to process… but take ur time, comprehending this is gna take a while. As for your siblings, you know them better, but this can be an opportunity to get closer.
I assure you that whatever your feeling they're feeling too, just differently.
Here if you ever wanna vent or just randomly talk <3

Thank you my friend, i am glad that i found this site. It keeps me from drowning further. I accept the situation. They decided for themselves. It obviously is still hurtful. Ironic considering that i think exactly like them and here i am complaining.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

christ that must suck

 

[deomlez]

Your decision is one thing, your feelings another. Yes ironical but you are human.
Perhaps your parents didn t want to be a charge for you and just advanced the end that was inevitable

 

[FuneralCry]

At least now they cannot suffer, it sounds so horrible what they went through but it's so tragic how people decide to procreate in the first place in this world filled with endless potential for torture. Rest in peace.

 

[Letgo]

I sm sorry for your loss. They are in a better place now and they are not sufferinf any more. Take it one day at a time.

 

[Kta1994]

Im so sorry, im 29 but i have chronic pain since 6 years agoand its been nothing but miserable, i will ctb soon due to it, just understand that they love you but couldnt deal with the pain anymore

 

[greg2000]

You mentioned you feel like they didn't love you? Can you elaborate? I have a 12 year old daughter who is my world and that is truly my only hang up- that she will never know that I truly loved her more than anything else in the world.

 

[MeltingBrain]

I can't imagine the pain you must be going through ! I hope you heal and things turn around for you

 

[20ClownRules]

Honestly? I haven't went through such a thing like this. However... I hope that you can recover from this...
They were most likely suffering, and they thought that it was the only way out for them; and to me? I find it to be the most plausible.
I'm sure that they love you, very much so... Though, the fact of the matter is that they most likely don't want you to worry about them, which is probably why...
Some do it to get out of painful situations, to get it over with, or to embrace the already inevitable end of their lives... I know it's hard, but, in a state of suffering? it's difficult to keep living in a condition that they both were.
Though, just know, even if I don't: They both love you very much... ...they probably didn't want to pass the burden onto you.

 

[UKscotty]

They are the lucky ones to escape this madness.

Try not to be sad, be happy for them that they are finally free.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have friends who can support you. You must be feeling overwhelmed.

 

[BelaBartok]

You mentioned you feel like they didn't love you? Can you elaborate? I have a 12 year old daughter who is my world and that is truly my only hang up- that she will never know that I truly loved her more than anything else in the world.

Thank you for the response. I know deep down inside it has nothing to do with love. They did what anyone else on this forum would do in that situation. How our loved ones feel after the fact is always complicated. My feelings are super complicated right now. I know they thought of their kids, which makes it even more horrifying that the pain made them go through with this decision, despite their feelings for us.

 

[helplessufferer]

sorry they'd been suffering but they are free from all of that now and will be indefinitely. i hope you can find your peace too, best of luck

 

[Raven2]

I'm so sorry for your loss. May they rest in peace

 

[90starve]

They were both in a lot of pain and i saw this coming. My father had cancer and my mother had all sorts of medical issues — specifically an aggressive form of diabetes. She was on kidney dialysis and hated it. I guess they decided this on one of her appointments. I am not angry, but i can't stop but feel hurt. It is such a shocker. I want to feel supportive, but i can't help but feel confusion and hurt. This is the closest sign that my time will arrive. I am very much in a dark corner right now. They were both in their 60's, religious, but just couldn't deal with the pain anymore. They did it together. I am not that close with my siblings, so i can't help but feel alone now. I am hurt and feel that they didn't love me, but i know that is not the case. So many feelings are coming in and out.

reading this post broke my heart. im so sorry for your tragedy :( i can't begin to imagine what it would feel like to lose my dad - and be alone in this world.

your parents both found peace - and i wish that you too can find a way to heal in your own time <3

 

[ringo99]

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm close to my mom and it would destroy me if anything like this happened to her.

Please don't be angry at your parents. They must have been in a lot of unendurable pain and didn't see any other way out. I'm absolutely sure their last thoughts were filled with love for you and your siblings and sadness at the pain they would cause by their passing. If you believe in an afterlife they're without suffering in a much better place together and watching over all of you.