Born in the wrong body And forced to deal with it

[natsuobun]

Funny thing is that Before my birth the doctors all thought Id be born a male and Only found out I was actually Female by looking at my genitals after birth Like man Imagine how lucky I would've been If I was actually Born that way fucking sucks Thinking about the life I couldve had and Dudes are so damn lucky to be dudes like Holy hell
I will never have the same life experiences as a cis Male and it Haunts me I will never have the things they do The friendships they have Why is it all so easy for Men to make friend groups That actually stick together and Hang out with all the time It must be so fun
I will never experience love as a guy Only if I get lucky and Some dude falls in love with me Thatd be so hard to accept how Can you even fall for someone like Me ... ? ? But Ill never come out Probably so Its just him and a chick I guess Hed be such a fool Cant even call myself Gay cause I genuinely dont deserve the title of a man In any aspect of it I mean I have the mind of a dude and The same behaviour Just not the body for it
Jacking off also Makes me extremely angry Cause I dont have the right parts for It so I just quit that all together
Men have so many Maaaany privileges that I will never get a taste of Yet again its so Sickening how Im just forced To take all this in cause I was born female Man Its all a joke Ill just live Like this til I die a miserable And pathetic death With absolutely No achievements in Life cause I dont deserve to live My life as a female Im just not Cut out for it
And I dont even want to Transition and get surgery cause Thats a huge slap in the face Like oooooh You SURGERY to LOOK like a man? thats Sad ....I want the real thing The real deal and Also that surgery Wont fix anything Since im Already flat chested I could lose like 20lbs And look completely like a Dude and Phalloplasty eeeeh ....Dont want to deal With rips and Huge scars with Absolutely no feeling In my Fake dick That I cant even ejaculate from Which is PRETTY SAD ONCE AGAIN
Just I dont even know Why Im even waiting To do Certain things before my death Atleast Im getting Piercings to Look a bit like myself I cannot Waaaaaaait to finally go You dont understand how Bad I want to

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

Its not a privilege to be a man,you obviously think so,but trust me its not

 

[natsuobun]

Its not a privilege to be a man,you obviously think so,but trust me its not

To be honest yeah you're right but its all I've ever wanted so from my perspective it seems so

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

To be honest yeah you're right but its all I've ever wanted so from my perspective it seems so

I understand,but with privilege it doesnt matter if you are a man or a woman,the privilege is that the person is healthy and has a good life,i hope you find peace and happines

 

[natsuobun]

I understand,but with privilege it doesnt matter if you are a man or a woman,the privilege is that the person is healthy and has a good life,i hope you find peace and happines

Maybe the fact that I'm healthy leads me wanting more from life . . . Thankyou for replyin and Hope you find happiness aswell

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

You sound way too young to not want more from life,and you should cherish your health,cause im a man but im not healthy...you say you wanna be a man,but if you were me you would still be fucked up just for different reasons

 

[natsuobun]

Ehhhhh Young I mean yeah I guess I turned 18 In october this year Id say so but I do want Other things from life But I could never try and Reach them cause of it. Maybe I should cherish my health Or something It feels so selfish to say things like these while Others are actually suffering !!! I hope there is some Way you can get better man And theres nothing Better in my book than Having those sweet sweet XY chromosomes

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

Ehhhhh Young I mean yeah I guess I turned 18 In october this year Id say so but I do want Other things from life But I could never try and Reach them cause of it. Maybe I should cherish my health Or something It feels so selfish to say things like these while Others are actually suffering !!! I hope there is some Way you can get better man And theres nothing Better in my book than Having those sweet sweet XY chromosomes

I knew it you were young,im from the balkans ,so not too far from you,listen i dont wanna sound like im giving you advice or lecturing you,but you have a lot of time on your hands to reach a lot of things in life,maybe not the XY chromosomes lol,but a lot of other good things,you are fucking 18 bro,you are just getting started...thanks for hoping i get better but unfortunately for me its too late i think

 

[natsuobun]

I knew it you were young,im from the balkans ,so not too far from you,listen i dont wanna sound like im giving you advice or lecturing you,but you have a lot of time on your hands to reach a lot of things in life,maybe not the XY chromosomes lol,but a lot of other good things,you are fucking 18 bro,you are just getting started...thanks for hoping i get better but unfortunately for me its too late i think

Man how OLD are you? Kidding its Okay I like lectures actually I learn a lot from them . Yeaaaah I do have time but Its just not what I want at all Im not only suffering cause of my Gender but theres other things aswell that I can cope with I GUESS but my gender is a thing That I cannot cope with at all Its like a whole loop.... And getting started for sure dude I really am Now who are you to say its too late ?!!! Want me to lecture you too ????

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

Man how OLD are you? Kidding its Okay I like lectures actually I learn a lot from them . Yeaaaah I do have time but Its just not what I want at all Im not only suffering cause of my Gender but theres other things aswell that I can cope with I GUESS but my gender is a thing That I cannot cope with at all Its like a whole loop.... And getting started for sure dude I really am Now who are you to say its too late ?!!! Want me to lecture you too ????

Lol my birthdate is in my nickname,so im really fuckin old ,you cant cope with your gender cause you are still super young,coping takes time im glad you have it,and for the lecturing part i've never been lectured by a 18 year old before lol,but i appreciate the intention

 

[natsuobun]

Lol my birthdate is in my nickname,so im really fuckin old ,you cant cope with your gender cause you are still super young,coping takes time im glad you have it,and for the lecturing part i've never been lectured by a 18 year old before lol,but i appreciate the intention

MAN YOURE ALMOST the same age as my mom CRAZY! Mmmm Maybe you are right Must be all the hormones ...cough Pubertys over...Cough I guess man Its just being young and stupid Or just Very unable to cope with the world Or my mind is trying to kill Me for nonsensical Reasons ... What about you though Whyd you say its too late ? Made me curious

 

[somüde]

really sorry you're feeling that way and you deserve to live your life however you can. testosterone is often really effective and metoidioplasty exists. if you're already suicidal you may as well try transition?

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

MAN YOURE ALMOST the same age as my mom CRAZY! Mmmm Maybe you are right Must be all the hormones ...cough Pubertys over...Cough I guess man Its just being young and stupid Or just Very unable to cope with the world Or my mind is trying to kill Me for nonsensical Reasons ... What about you though Whyd you say its too late ? Made me curious

Nah your mind is great,you got it right the first time,hormones and your age,you are literally still growing up,your brain is still developing till you are 25,as for me its too long of a story and i dont wanna tire you with my problems,but you said a thing that resonated with me deeply...my mind trying to kill me...but in my case its not for nonsensical reasons but anyways i doesnt matter

 

[natsuobun]

really sorry you're feeling that way and you deserve to live your life however you can. testosterone is often really effective and metoidioplasty exists. if you're already suicidal you may as well try transition?

Taking testosterone was on my to do list so I dont know if Ill take it or not But it seems like a good idea! And that long word Plasty ill Definitely look into it sounds interesting. Thank you for being so Nice !!!!

Nah your mind is great,you got it right the first time,hormones and your age,you are literally still growing up,your brain is still developing till you are 25,as for me its too long of a story and i dont wanna tire you with my problems,but you said a thing that resonated with me deeply...my mind trying to kill me...but in my case its not for nonsensical reasons but anyways i doesnt matter

Awh man But I wanted to know WHO KNOWS if My mind is great or not I aint so sure ... And yeah All of our minds are trying to kill us its Not like our bodies Are it all Lies in the head. It matters to me

 

[rainatthebusstop]

Since you're 18 I'm gonna tell you to try testosterone before those fucking growth plates fuse. You might even avoid looking too much like a hobbit man that way.
Also ya know, phalloplasty is an option against the dicklessness. But that's way later. For now just try to transition.

 

[natsuobun]

Since you're 18 I'm gonna tell you to try testosterone before those fucking growth plates fuse. You might even avoid looking too much like a hobbit man that way.
Also ya know, phalloplasty is an option against the dicklessness. But that's way later. For now just try to transition.

IM CRYING thank you For adding the hobbit man part It really put it all together. Now Im thinking about transitioning a little since It doesnt sound that bad does it ....

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Shall we exchange bodies then? Seems like it would solve both our problems! You are still a man anyways regardless of what you want to do. Although do be careful, just as I did with women, not everything is greener on the other side. There are many monsters among us

 

[natsuobun]

Shall we exchange bodies then? Seems like it would solve both our problems! You are still a man anyways regardless of what you want to do. Although do be careful, just as I did with women, not everything is greener on the other side. There are many monsters among us

I wish that could be a real Thing exchanging bodies Would fix me. Thank you for saying that! ...What do you mean by monsters among us? Are you like a Serial killer or something

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

Taking testosterone was on my to do list so I dont know if Ill take it or not But it seems like a good idea! And that long word Plasty ill Definitely look into it sounds interesting. Thank you for being so Nice !!!!

Awh man But I wanted to know WHO KNOWS if My mind is great or not I aint so sure ... And yeah All of our minds are trying to kill us its Not like our bodies Are it all Lies in the head. It matters to me

I had major depression and overcome it 3 years ago,as soon as i got healthy my father got really ill,and he was all i had my whole life,no mother,no brothers sisters nothing,so i quit my job to be his full time care taker,lost my girl because of it ,lost my car,lost my friends,watching him fall apart for 3 years took a toll on me,and finally he died in my arms 2 months ago,and that left me traumatized and my mind got poisoned,i dont have the fucking strenght to start my life over...i dont want doctors i dont want help,i just wanna dissapear but im still scared and scarred and...i dont know man i wanna leave this world,sorry for the rant

 

[KeyTheBlooper]

Funny thing is that Before my birth the doctors all thought Id be born a male and Only found out I was actually Female by looking at my genitals after birth Like man Imagine how lucky I would've been If I was actually Born that way fucking sucks Thinking about the life I couldve had and Dudes are so damn lucky to be dudes like Holy hell
I will never have the same life experiences as a cis Male and it Haunts me I will never have the things they do The friendships they have Why is it all so easy for Men to make friend groups That actually stick together and Hang out with all the time It must be so fun
I will never experience love as a guy Only if I get lucky and Some dude falls in love with me Thatd be so hard to accept how Can you even fall for someone like Me ... ? ? But Ill never come out Probably so Its just him and a chick I guess Hed be such a fool Cant even call myself Gay cause I genuinely dont deserve the title of a man In any aspect of it I mean I have the mind of a dude and The same behaviour Just not the body for it
Jacking off also Makes me extremely angry Cause I dont have the right parts for It so I just quit that all together
Men have so many Maaaany privileges that I will never get a taste of Yet again its so Sickening how Im just forced To take all this in cause I was born female Man Its all a joke Ill just live Like this til I die a miserable And pathetic death With absolutely No achievements in Life cause I dont deserve to live My life as a female Im just not Cut out for it
And I dont even want to Transition and get surgery cause Thats a huge slap in the face Like oooooh You SURGERY to LOOK like a man? thats Sad ....I want the real thing The real deal and Also that surgery Wont fix anything Since im Already flat chested I could lose like 20lbs And look completely like a Dude and Phalloplasty eeeeh ....Dont want to deal With rips and Huge scars with Absolutely no feeling In my Fake dick That I cant even ejaculate from Which is PRETTY SAD ONCE AGAIN
Just I dont even know Why Im even waiting To do Certain things before my death Atleast Im getting Piercings to Look a bit like myself I cannot Waaaaaaait to finally go You dont understand how Bad I want to

I'm two-spirit, and I get your anger. I'm stuck doing adult entertainment and being hyper sexualized by those around me because of my body type even though I have both male and female energy. i'm sorry you feel this way.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I wish that could be a real Thing exchanging bodies Would fix me. Thank you for saying that! ...What do you mean by monsters among us? Are you like a Serial killer or something

No I mean that many men fucking suck and so do many women. Neither are pedestals and being one of the bros or gals isn't a thing for most people there are very tumultuous friendships everywhere

 

[PI3.14]

I don't struggle with your particular issue, but I still suffer from severe case of BDD.

Although I'm a "man", I don't really feel like one. How can I feel so at my height? I'm shorter that many first grade mid schoolers here.

Tbh, if we're gonna talk about privileges, both genders struggle, especially individuals who struggle with meeting societal standards.

 

[natsuobun]

I had major depression and overcome it 3 years ago,as soon as i got healthy my father got really ill,and he was all i had my whole life,no mother,no brothers sisters nothing,so i quit my job to be his full time care taker,lost my girl because of it ,lost my car,lost my friends,watching him fall apart for 3 years took a toll on me,and finally he died in my arms 2 months ago,and that left me traumatized and my mind got poisoned,i dont have the fucking strenght to start my life over...i dont want doctors i dont want help,i just wanna dissapear but im still scared and scarred and...i dont know man i wanna leave this world,sorry for the rant

NO NO its okay Thank you for telling me Holy fuck youre strong as hell for even overcoming depression in the first place And look at you still standing ...Okay I guess standing but On one foot Lets say STILL! Thats some good ass effort. Thats so recent .. Dont know how I would act if My mom died ... Such a long time spent like that Theres no way your mind could ever be the same as It was so I completely get you But it never has to be the same! The human mind is like a soft fistful of sand ...You can shape it however you want. Sorry got sidetracked I really do hope you realise you can overcome this Even if it feels fucking impossible you can dude You have it in you! You just forgot... Its totally normal to be scared even I am sometimes ... Condolences and wish you the best luck if You choose to continue your life As is IM VERY BAD AT COMFORTING DONT MIND ME

No I mean that many men fucking suck and so do many women. Neither are pedestals and being one of the bros or gals isn't a thing for most people there are very tumultuous friendships everywhere

Okaaaay Now were on the same wavelength I get it I hate all My girl friends too Like HOLY. It would Be so cool If gender didnt exist at all We wouldnt have to worry Over things like these

 

[.lvldown]

I'm also trans ftm (27 years old) and the dysphoria is real, I relate to everything you said and have felt that way since I was a child. It is definitely a privilege to be born cis and identify that way. It isnt because "you're young" or "not appreciating" your health either.... Health is valuable but it doesn't beat dysphoria. I used to (still, occasionally) starve myself because I hated having a curvy, womanly body. Trans men are not as visible as other identities within the lgbtqia space and most of the above commenters are honestly just reflecting that. Cis men may be poor or whatever else but they don't have to deal with periods, having breasts, fetishization, dysphoria, being judged for wanting or not wanting surgery, being misgendered, dead named, never getting to experience boyhood, facing the threat of being assaulted or killed for being trans, among much more.

Transitioning also isn't what makes you a man. You deserve to call yourself a man if that's who you are. Identifying as a certain gender, and being born into the wrong body isn't about your chromosomes, it's about that aching feeling you get when you realize you are not being socially perceived in the way that you need to be in order to be fully seen as human. Plenty of trans men (myself included) don't pursue phallo top surgery or hormones.

I hope this doesn't sound hypocritical and I'm not trying to lecture just offering my perspective. I also haven't come out. Only to one person I trust. That was all I needed for the time being and I'm trying to work on coming out to the rest of the people in my life. Being trans is an incredibly long and painful journey for most people.

I know how hard it is, you're not alone in how you're feeling.

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

NO NO its okay Thank you for telling me Holy fuck youre strong as hell for even overcoming depression in the first place And look at you still standing ...Okay I guess standing but On one foot Lets say STILL! Thats some good ass effort. Thats so recent .. Dont know how I would act if My mom died ... Such a long time spent like that Theres no way your mind could ever be the same as It was so I completely get you But it never has to be the same! The human mind is like a soft fistful of sand ...You can shape it however you want. Sorry got sidetracked I really do hope you realise you can overcome this Even if it feels fucking impossible you can dude You have it in you! You just forgot... Its totally normal to be scared even I am sometimes ... Condolences and wish you the best luck if You choose to continue your life As is IM VERY BAD AT COMFORTING DONT MIND ME

Thanks for you support lil "bro" lol,unfortunately i dont think i will overcome it this time,this time it really fucked me up it warped my mind literally,i was the happiest dude in the world before it..now just a shell,thats why i said i dont have much time left,cause its true..i dont think imma make it this time

 

[natsuobun]

I'm also trans ftm (27 years old) and the dysphoria is real, I relate to everything you said and have felt that way since I was a child. It is definitely a privilege to be born cis and identify that way. It isnt because "you're young" or "not appreciating" your health either.... Health is valuable but it doesn't beat dysphoria. I used to (still, occasionally) starve myself because I hated having a curvy, womanly body. Trans men are not as visible as other identities within the lgbtqia space and most of the above commenters are honestly just reflecting that. Cis men may be poor or whatever else but they don't have to deal with periods, having breasts, fetishization, dysphoria, being judged for wanting or not wanting surgery, being misgendered, dead named, never getting to experience boyhood, facing the threat of being assaulted or killed for being trans, among much more.

Transitioning also isn't what makes you a man. You deserve to call yourself a man if that's who you are. Identifying as a certain gender, and being born into the wrong body isn't about your chromosomes, it's about that aching feeling you get when you realize you are not being socially perceived in the way that you need to be in order to be fully seen as human. Plenty of trans men (myself included) don't pursue phallo top surgery or hormones.

I hope this doesn't sound hypocritical and I'm not trying to lecture just offering my perspective. I also haven't come out. Only to one person I trust. That was all I needed for the time being and I'm trying to work on coming out to the rest of the people in my life. Being trans is an incredibly long and painful journey for most people.

I know how hard it is, you're not alone in how you're feeling.

ohhh My gooodddd You fucking get me Im on my period Rn and just thinking about it makes me wanna pull My hair out. Yeah transitioning And all that doesnt make me a man But Missing out on a whole life is Hellish to think about YEAH NO its okay I dont mind lectures... In all seriousness Thaaaaank you !!! I feel a little better now With all that said ... I wish you well on your journey

Thanks for you support lil "bro" lol,unfortunately i dont think i will overcome it this time,this time it really fucked me up it warped my mind literally,i was the happiest dude in the world before it..now just a shell,thats why i said i dont have much time left,cause its true..i dont think imma make it this time

Youre very welcome Bro I hope we can Talk sometime soon It was a great time !!!! But now I Gotta have my goodnight cigarette and Back my ass up to sleep cause I got school in the morning. Im Super positive you COULD overcome this but chose not to, And thats completely okay...Nobody is forcing you to live But There has to be atleast a chance of you getting help Youre great and deserve it with all your being SLEEP WELL!

 

[.lvldown]

ohhh My gooodddd You fucking get me Im on my period Rn and just thinking about it makes me wanna pull My hair out. Yeah transitioning And all that doesnt make me a man But Missing out on a whole life is Hellish to think about YEAH NO its okay I dont mind lectures... In all seriousness Thaaaaank you !!! I feel a little better now With all that said ... I wish you well on your journey

No problem, I'm glad I could help even just a little. If you need anything feel free to send me a pm
Periods are the fucking worst, I wish you well too

 

[deadmanwalking1990]

ohhh My gooodddd You fucking get me Im on my period Rn and just thinking about it makes me wanna pull My hair out. Yeah transitioning And all that doesnt make me a man But Missing out on a whole life is Hellish to think about YEAH NO its okay I dont mind lectures... In all seriousness Thaaaaank you !!! I feel a little better now With all that said ... I wish you well on your journey

Youre very welcome Bro I hope we can Talk sometime soon It was a great time !!!! But now I Gotta have my goodnight cigarette and Back my ass up to sleep cause I got school in the morning. Im Super positive you COULD overcome this but chose not to, And thats completely okay...Nobody is forcing you to live But There has to be atleast a chance of you getting help Youre great and deserve it with all your being SLEEP WELL!

Good night and yea you can DM me whenever you want

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Okaaaay Now were on the same wavelength I get it I hate all My girl friends too Like HOLY. It would Be so cool If gender didnt exist at all We wouldnt have to worry Over things like these

I had problems with a big part of my men friends. Don't know honestly, don't really like the people from this country as a whole, it's very hard to find people that understand you, I've become kinda cynic because of this, you probably know what I mean living 18 years in the same shithole banana country.

 

[rustcohle4life]

What kind of realm do we fucking live in where people are born into the wrong goddamn bodies? It's truly a hell realm of some kind.