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Never been diagnosed but maybe I have it. What is it exactly, maybe a dumb question and easy to google but curious what your definition is of BDP.
For me I am unstable and feel I have no real me my goals hobbies and how I view things constantly changes. I am self destructive and impulsive. I am constantly shifting between mind sets. One week I'll be planning on one thing and then weeks or days I change to the opposite of it. I constantly shift between wanting to do good and be stable then I shift into wanting chaos and unstable relationships and complete self destructive thinking. I tend to only have feelings when I am in emotional pain and often crave pain when in this state of mind. I also can like someone one minute then instantly hate them for something they do.
Dude then I can totally relate. How did they diagnose this? With a questionnaire?
im not officially diagnosed bpd yet but I have a lot of the traits. All they do is follow the dsm book on diagnosing it I guess.
I'am a quiet borderline, but suffer all the typical problems it's just not as obviously visible unless people get close. I lived in a smallish town and I swear in my 20's when I was looking for help I really struggled to find it. I was aware something was wrong but never formally diagnosed. I did get diagnosed with depression, bipolar, ADD, and think I actually have ADD issues but my diagnoses was never correct. I hate our government for making mental health care difficult to access especially if u can't afford insurance. Yea my life has been ruined by the disorder.
The most basic traits are a combination of a) emotional instability and intensity, sadness becomes grief, happiness becomes bliss, anger becomes rage. Apparently sufferers of BPD literally feel emotions for longer and more intensely than other people. and b) impulsivity in at least x areas of your life. ie. sex, drugs, spending money you cant afford, etc etc.
Really the only thing I've gained from possibly having this label is fear that I'm too broken for even professionals to help. Not good.
Ya I know what you mean I know I'm too broken to be fixed.
Maybe it doesn't help that I feel I actively had no good reason for self harming personally but continued to do it for the sake of self sabotage and scars.
I read online somewhere that 80% of people with BPD engage in self harm so I'm not surprised. I've had severe self harm issues since I was 11 but thankfully it isn't as bad anymore. Now I'm just left with a bunch of scars all over my body. You could probably find a copy of the DSM through Google.
Yea I use the online DSM also the actual book would be nice, but its expensive...
