Venting borderline feels like a death sentence

[Navi]

i will never be loved. im not worthy of love. no one will love me as i am. it isn't fair. it just isn't fair. this disorder is genuinely hell on earth. the euphoric ups only help the crash of the downs hurt more. when I finally feel like im ready to go somehow something always keeps me from doing it. and then i will regret not dying.

no therapy works. no medication works. im stuck like this. i feel so hopeless. everything is a constant reminder of how lonely i am. i just wanna escape from the pain. it gets so bad i swear i feel it physically sometimes.

 

[auti]

Are u me? This is my life too lol. Up and down and all around but never getting anywhere.

 

[Navi]

Are u me? This is my life too lol. Up and down and all around but never getting anywhere.

well, at least we know we arent alone

 

[woofwag]

Incredibly fucking real. I also get so damn embarrassed of the shit I do in the bpd euphoria moments. Not only does it make the crashes feel devastating, but I get the added effect of doing/saying some bullllllshit that is so cringe even I can't justify it (and personally I think being cringe is based, but this kinda cringe is like, woahhh man stop saying you love people who are basically strangers to you). Bpd is actual hell

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I have bpd too and know all too well how painful and exhausting it is. And the fact that this disorder is so demonised by many doesn't help at all. If you need someone to talk to I'm available.

 

[tomame]

it's terrible but we're truly the best lovers to exist when we learn how to manage it

 

[lotus.dead]

i dont get why we have to be the unlucky ones that feel emotions stronger than others. when we love, we love so much it turns into fear and aggression. when we're sad, its a devastating amount of pain to the point of depression. and the worst part is people dont want to help or understand because its easier to pin us as the toxic villain.

 

[BPDTalk]

For me, I want to minimize the impact of this disorder as much as possible, at least before death approaches. This isn't about positive affirmations to comfort me, but I feel like emptiness can't be comforted in any way. No matter how hard I try, I still can't find the answers to life's problems.

 

[interna]

it really does. i dont have bpd but i have a lot of the symptoms and it makes relationships, friendships etc a living hell

sigh i wish i could pull away from everyone and disappear at once so i never have to feel pain or disappointment again but it's never that easy

 

[mutsu]

I feel you, I have BPD as well and I feel like I've tried so many meds only for not a single one of them to work ;^;

this disorder really does feel like hell on earth and nothing in my life feels stable and bpd attatchment is miserable to deal with

its relieving to know that we're not alone