Birthday’s Suck When You’re Gonna CTB This Year

[glided~hydrangea]

I have less than a year to live. For the past couple years I've set my mind that the age I'm at now will be the one where I leave. It's my birthday today and I don't feel an ounce of happiness. I've repeatedly told my loved ones I don't want to do anything at all—just rest at home. I have severe clinical depression, anxiety, and PTSD. No one respects my wishes, of course. And I'm exceedingly grateful, of course, but all day I've been jokingly made fun of and berated for not smiling and being happy-go-lucky every second. It sucks because all the wishes I've gotten make me so sad, I'm very loved—I know that. But they don't even know this is the last birthday I'll ever have. I've been dreading this day for so long because everything just gets so real. I already have the month I'm going to CTB—the first half of May, 2027—and I just don't want to keep putting up this facade. There's so much I still haven't done, so I need as much tips to live up this year before I go. I can't help but be frustrated with those around me, I've been violently raped by 5 different men these past 2 years, I've fallen pregnant and miscarried twice, I've been forced into mental hospitals where I was molested by other male patients, and I know it may appear ungrateful or as me simply finding anything to complain about, but I find it funny that even for something as positive as a birthday, people around me still actively choose not to respect my boundaries and wishes. Is anyone else in a similar boat? The melancholy of the day is overwhelming. I have so much potential that only I know isn't going to continue to become grow into something grandly tangible. I don't have enough time to make an intensely inspirational legacy, so I'm just going to have the most fun and make the most memories I physically can. Wish me luck!

 

[Aknu132]

I'm so sorry for you, having all those problems... I have depression and anxiety too, i know the pain it causes. it's a pity that people doesn't see your pain and make fun and berate you. Those fucking evil mans, humans are fucking disgusting and cruel, i was not raped but i was abused as a child by various mans, to this day i remember, the pain that it causes... i'm so, so sorry for you, i know it hurts, it hurts a lot. take care of yourself, get most away as possible from evil people, have the most fun possible on your last year, you deserve so much happines, i hope you can finally find your peace, we need to escape from this hell that is people.

 

[glided~hydrangea]

I'm so sorry for you, having all those problems... I have depression and anxiety too, i know the pain it causes. it's a pity that people doesn't see your pain and make fun and berate you. Those fucking evil mans, humans are fucking disgusting and cruel, i was not raped but i was abused as a child by various mans, to this day i remember, the pain that it causes... i'm so, so sorry for you, i know it hurts, it hurts a lot. take care of yourself, get most away as possible from evil people, have the most fun possible on your last year, you deserve so much happines, i hope you can finally find your peace, we need to escape from this hell that is people.

Thank you for the kind words, it feels nice to be seen and believed unconditionally rather than having people make their own assumptions.

 

[0dysseus]

It was written by an AI please flag this account

 

[Aknu132]

It was written by an AI please flag this account

i think he's using AI to correct his text, maybe he is a non native speaker, i use it too, for long texts.

 

[deeprootdisease]

my birthday is terrible for me because I'm a triplet. i know once im gone, it'll be so difficult for my other two twins to celebrate a date that was once for three, and now only two will remain

 

[glided~hydrangea]

Not at all lmao. It's called having good grammar and being literate. Just because I use em dashes (which, I'm sure you don't even know what that means lol), doesn't mean it's AI. Please educate yourself, thanks! Xoxo

It was written by an AI please flag this account

Nope! English is in fact my first language and I'm a fantastic writer! I believe it or not, I actually know how to use grammar lmao. I wrote that in a bathroom stall all on my own when my internet was shit. I wouldn't use AI for a vent post lmao. I appreciate you trying to defend me though broski, xoxo.

i think he's using AI to correct his text, maybe he is a non native speaker, i use it too, for long texts.

 

[SASU-KE]

Nope! English is in fact my first language and I'm a fantastic writer! I believe it or not, I actually know how to use grammar lmao. I wrote that in a bathroom stall all on my own when my internet was shit.

Tell me if you really meant to word your username that way?

OK, OK, I'm just kidding around. Sorry you had such a tough time these past few years. I wish you happiness going forward and please stay safe.

 

[0dysseus]

Not at all lmao. It's called having good grammar and being literate. Just because I use em dashes (which, I'm sure you don't even know what that means lol), doesn't mean it's AI. Please educate yourself, thanks! Xoxo

Nope! English is in fact my first language and I'm a fantastic writer! I believe it or not, I actually know how to use grammar lmao. I wrote that in a bathroom stall all on my own when my internet was shit. I wouldn't use AI for a vent post lmao. I appreciate you trying to defend me though broski, xoxo.

Then sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Even if you used AI to communicate what you wanted then it's mighty fine. It's just that sometimes I suspect people come here and write some fictional things to get some form of gratification--I heard that's a thing.

 

[glided~hydrangea]

i think he's using AI to correct his text, maybe he is a non native speaker, i use it too, for long texts.

It was written by an AI please flag this account

It was written by an AI please flag this account

Tell me if you really meant to word your username that way?

OK, OK, I'm just kidding around. Sorry you had such a tough time these past few years. I wish you happiness going forward and please stay safe.

What an odd thing to say on a rape vent post.

What an odd thing to say on a rape vent post.

Then sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Even if you used AI to communicate what you wanted then it's mighty fine. It's just that sometimes I suspect people come here and write some fictional things to get some form of gratification--I heard that's a thing.

Get a fucking grip then. This isn't the time nor fucking place to be spreading shit like that. I don't know if you've known anyone you care about who's been raped, but it's truly, genuinely one the worst pains in the entire world and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I pray this level of pain and torment never falls onto you or the people you love. Please apply rudimentary level critical thinking skills again and use an AI checker before you start this like that. I'm extremely against AI btw. Have a nice day and don't come on my threads again.

Tell me if you really meant to word your username that way?

OK, OK, I'm just kidding around. Sorry you had such a tough time these past few years. I wish you happiness going forward and please stay safe.

Read the fucking room this isn't the time nor place to joke like that rape isn't a fucking light heartened topic. If you have nothing of actually fucking substance to add to the conversation then keep your mouth shut. Have a nice day.

 

[SASU-KE]

Hey @glided~hydrangea

I was thinking your username was supposed to be gilded hydrangea so I made a silly joke off of that.

I quoted a separate post you made about your grammar that wasn't connected to the other post.

I'm sorry,I didn't mean for it to offend.i hope you'll accept my apology.

 

[glided~hydrangea]

my birthday is terrible for me because I'm a triplet. i know once im gone, it'll be so difficult for my other two twins to celebrate a date that was once for three, and now only two will remain

That's such an awful, gut-wrenching feeling. I'm sure your presence means a great deal to your siblings, but perhaps they would understand. I'm sending all my love your way and I truly hope you find peace and prosperity with whatever it is you're striving for.