Big feelings

[SchizoGymnast]

We all know what it's like to be overwhelmed with negative feelings, but are any of you distressed with positive feelings as well? I mentally can't handle any strong emotion good or bad, and it makes me want to get drugged out of my mind.

 

[ferrie]

I don't think this is quite what you're talking about, but good memories are now extremely distressing to me. I can't think about things that used to make me very happy without feeling panicked

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I don't think this is quite what you're talking about, but good memories are now extremely distressing to me. I can't think about things that used to make me very happy without feeling panicked

Why do you think that is?

 

[ferrie]

Why do you think that is?

For me it's because I know that my life will never be the way it was before & nothing can bring the things that made me happy back bc they relied heavily on other people. I imagine other situations can cause similar reactions though

 

[SchizoGymnast]

For me it's because I know that my life will never be the way it was before & nothing can bring the things that made me happy back bc they relied heavily on other people. I imagine other situations can cause similar reactions though

I think in my case, I'm just too damn tired to feel anything. Feeling any emotion is like asking a toddler to lift a vehicle.

 

[ferrie]

I think in my case, I'm just too damn tired to feel anything. Feeling any emotion is like asking a toddler to lift a vehicle.

I feel ya, emotions are exhausting. Do you actually hit the point of feeling positive emotions & then feel distressed or does the distress/exhaustion cut it off before you get there?

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I feel ya, emotions are exhausting. Do you actually hit the point of feeling positive emotions & then feel distressed or does the distress/exhaustion cut it off before you get there?

I feel positive things and very quickly learn that my brain turns to mush. There's also an element of anxiety...things are going too well, something terrible must be around the corner

 

[ferrie]

I feel positive things and very quickly learn that my brain turns to mush. There's also an element of anxiety...things are going too well, something terrible must be around the corner

That makes sense, anxiety's a bitch. I'm sorry that your brain seems to be getting in the way of being able to enjoy things for long. Sounds like emotional fatigue which sucks

 

[SchizoGymnast]

That makes sense, anxiety's a bitch. I'm sorry that your brain seems to be getting in the way of being able to enjoy things for long. Sounds like emotional fatigue which sucks

I know the long term consequences of using illicit substances, but damn, I just want something to take the edge off.

 

[ferrie]

I know the long term consequences of using illicit substances, but damn, I just want something to take the edge off.

Have you tried weed? Most people don't have long term effects from cannabis & some strains can really have a calming effect. Or personally tbr I enjoyed being on SSRIs when I was allowed them bc I didn't feel any emotions at all, but I know a lot of ppl don't like psych meds

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Have you tried weed? Most people don't have long term effects from cannabis & some strains can really have a calming effect. Or personally tbr I enjoyed being on SSRIs when I was allowed them bc I didn't feel any emotions at all, but I know a lot of ppl don't like psych meds

I'm very much pro psych meds. And weed would work in a pinch but part of me wants the danger and the taboo

 

[ferrie]

I'm very much pro psych meds. And weed would work in a pinch but part of me wants the danger and the taboo

I get you lol. Idk how illicit we're talking, but there is a certain allure to drugs & coping mechanisms we know are harmful to us. Thrill seeking & emotional fatigue seems like an interesting combo though

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I get you lol. Idk how illicit we're talking, but there is a certain allure to drugs & coping mechanisms we know are harmful to us. Thrill seeking & emotional fatigue seems like an interesting combo though

I score a little higher than average on the psychopathy scale. Maybe that helps explain it.

 

[ferrie]

I score a little higher than average on the psychopathy scale. Maybe that helps explain it.

That could possibly explain it from the behavioral control aspect, though I personally find measures of psychopathy to be poorly defined

 

[SchizoGymnast]

That could possibly explain it from the behavioral control aspect, though I personally find measures of psychopathy to be poorly defined

I just feel like I don't know anything anymore and it's pointless to try to know things
I know that was random

 

[ferrie]

I just feel like I don't know anything anymore and it's pointless to try to know things
I know that was random

Yeah a little random but what do you mean?

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Yeah a little random but what do you mean?

A little context:

I recently got threatened with eviction and a lawsuit by my property manager and the end result is that I've lived in my car for the past month and now live in someone's basement. I had to hire an attorney. Blah blah blah. I lived there for ten years and all of a sudden my PM decided my unit wasn't profitable. My whole life was turned upside down and I did absolutely nothing different/wrong. I think the chaos and unfairness of my situation has led to my emotional fatigue. Also if I can follow the rules and pay the bills and still be sued? Why bother following any rules? Just do whatever it takes to get some kind of relief. Live a little. Middle finger to society. It's all so confusing and I'm pretty sure I broke my adrenal glands dealing with this. I don't know if this makes any sense. If not I'll try again when I've gotten some sleep.

 

[ferrie]

Damn that's horrible. What grounds do they even have to sue you? Property managers/landlords are always such bastards for NO reason. The emotional fatigue makes sense, that's such an overwhelming situation. At least you're out of your car, but I know having your life upended like that is just horrible. I got basically run out of a shared apartment in February, so I empathize with the living situation stress Idk what you mean by broke your adrenal glands, but the story made sense. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that shit just bc of what seems like a money hungry property manager, and I hope you're able to get some rest

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Damn that's horrible. What grounds do they even have to sue you? Property managers/landlords are always such bastards for NO reason. The emotional fatigue makes sense, that's such an overwhelming situation. At least you're out of your car, but I know having your life upended like that is just horrible. I got basically run out of a shared apartment in February, so I empathize with the living situation stress Idk what you mean by broke your adrenal glands, but the story made sense. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that shit just bc of what seems like a money hungry property manager, and I hope you're able to get some rest

I didn't literally break my adrenal glands, I'm just saying I'm producing so much adrenalin that I may as well have. And here's the thing...I would be fine if it was just me, but I have four cats. I CANNOT lose them.

 

[ferrie]

I didn't literally break my adrenal glands, I'm just saying I'm producing so much adrenalin that I may as well have. And here's the thing...I would be fine if it was just me, but I have four cats. I CANNOT lose them.

That makes so much more sense lol. Oh wow! Four cats is a lot, where were they when you were living in your car? I have a dog & a cat that I've been separated from, so I know how you feel about losing your pets. Hopefully things stabilize for you & there's a good living situation for your animals

 

[SchizoGymnast]

That makes so much more sense lol. Oh wow! Four cats is a lot, where were they when you were living in your car? I have a dog & a cat that I've been separated from, so I know how you feel about losing your pets. Hopefully things stabilize for you & there's a good living situation for your animals

I lived in my car with four cats. They traveled with me everywhere. I loved it, but it's not safe for them in the summer. Thankfully my friend is a crazy animal lady so my four cats are with me in the basement.

Next goal? Get a house or a mobile home or something. No more douchebag PMs.

 

[ferrie]

I lived in my car with four cats. They traveled with me everywhere. I loved it, but it's not safe for them in the summer. Thankfully my friend is a crazy animal lady so my four cats are with me in the basement.

Next goal? Get a house or a mobile home or something. No more douchebag PMs.

I know a couple people that live in tricked out vans with their cats! That might be smth to consider if you're into that kind of lifestyle. Refurbed buses are pretty cool to live out of too