For me it's because I know that my life will never be the way it was before & nothing can bring the things that made me happy back bc they relied heavily on other people. I imagine other situations can cause similar reactions though
I think in my case, I'm just too damn tired to feel anything. Feeling any emotion is like asking a toddler to lift a vehicle.
I feel ya, emotions are exhausting. Do you actually hit the point of feeling positive emotions & then feel distressed or does the distress/exhaustion cut it off before you get there?
I feel positive things and very quickly learn that my brain turns to mush. There's also an element of anxiety...things are going too well, something terrible must be around the corner
That makes sense, anxiety's a bitch. I'm sorry that your brain seems to be getting in the way of being able to enjoy things for long. Sounds like emotional fatigue which sucks
I know the long term consequences of using illicit substances, but damn, I just want something to take the edge off.
Have you tried weed? Most people don't have long term effects from cannabis & some strains can really have a calming effect. Or personally tbr I enjoyed being on SSRIs when I was allowed them bc I didn't feel any emotions at all, but I know a lot of ppl don't like psych meds
I'm very much pro psych meds. And weed would work in a pinch but part of me wants the danger and the taboo
I get you lol. Idk how illicit we're talking, but there is a certain allure to drugs & coping mechanisms we know are harmful to us. Thrill seeking & emotional fatigue seems like an interesting combo though
That could possibly explain it from the behavioral control aspect, though I personally find measures of psychopathy to be poorly defined
I just feel like I don't know anything anymore and it's pointless to try to know things
A little context:
Idk what you mean by broke your adrenal glands, but the story made sense. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that shit just bc of what seems like a money hungry property manager, and I hope you're able to get some rest
I didn't literally break my adrenal glands, I'm just saying I'm producing so much adrenalin that I may as well have. And here's the thing...I would be fine if it was just me, but I have four cats. I CANNOT lose them.Damn that's horrible. What grounds do they even have to sue you? Property managers/landlords are always such bastards for NO reason. The emotional fatigue makes sense, that's such an overwhelming situation. At least you're out of your car, but I know having your life upended like that is just horrible. I got basically run out of a shared apartment in February, so I empathize with the living situation stress
That makes so much more sense lol. Oh wow! Four cats is a lot, where were they when you were living in your car? I have a dog & a cat that I've been separated from, so I know how you feel about losing your pets. Hopefully things stabilize for you & there's a good living situation for your animals
I lived in my car with four cats. They traveled with me everywhere. I loved it, but it's not safe for them in the summer. Thankfully my friend is a crazy animal lady so my four cats are with me in the basement.
I know a couple people that live in tricked out vans with their cats! That might be smth to consider if you're into that kind of lifestyle. Refurbed buses are pretty cool to live out of too
