Venting Better off without any romantic relationships and deep feelings?

[albert_camus]

I think I'm better off without any romantic relationships or better said: I'm better off without any romantic feelings?
Every single time it was soo stressful, from being emotionally abused to being cheated on, being left alone in my lowest points in life, and so on. Right now I'm in a kind of relationship (relationship anarchy I guess) with my ex or not anymore ex and there's not a lot of relationship going on at the moment and tbh, I'm feeling waaay better, so I guess it's no relationship anymore? I don't know. Maybe my feelings will change again, but right now I'm just relieved that I have no hard feelings.
She contacted me a couple hours ago and told me that she misses me and I'm still having a stress reaction, tf? Our relationship wasn't that bad... I guess? Why is my nervous system reacting that way. I think I'm scared that I'll end up in the same place again if I end up being too vulnerable with her again, opening up and loving her the way I once did. Everything was fine the last time we saw each other so I'm kinda confused that my body is reacting that way.
AHHHH, maybe I should stay far far far away from love, romantic feelings and romantic relationships. It's a mess.

Someone else feeling that way?

 

[Alias Pluto]

Romance/love really make me insane and have caused a lot of problems for me. I had another meltdown in December over someone I fell in love with who didn't want anything to do with me. For me, I am wired so sensitive that loving someone messes me up. The longest relationships I've had I didn't truly love them. I loved the social life that they gave me. Pretty much I don't know whether I'm better off or not with relationships but I sure go crazy when I fuck them up.

 

[VirtualSnow]

Probably so, relationships can get incredibly destructive and carry the worst. I'm probably in the minority here, but I believe unless there's some semblance of a future which is realistic enough, there's no point at even trying, much less if there's no compromise. Something that isn't stable at once will most likely never be. Then again, I'm saying this coming right out from a terrible experience with it, so it may be my resentment speaking.

And in my opinion, getting back with exes does never work.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Every time I keep getting to this point in my own life that's when reality decides to show me billions of happy couples living it up experiencing all the joys and sentiments I'll never get to have which sadly hurts more than being deluded into thinking I still have a chance.

 

[divinemistress87]

They are temporary. The person usually finds someone else they like better and its hurt . Im better off without them

 

[Michi_Violeta]

I'd rather be dead than not experiencing love again...which is pretty much what brought me here. It's one of the most beautiful experiences and feelings I've ever had, but also the greatest pain I've gone through. Life seems to be a cycle of trauma and recovery, with only very rare instances of love, and I don't call that life.

Then again, that's just me. And I'm an idiot.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've been through a few bouts of (most likely) limerence. (Intense crushes on people.) It's so easy to find myself slipping back into it too. I have to be so careful. But yes- it was a crazy period in my life. Exciting I suppose in some ways but that makes it all the more dangerous- it makes it appealing. Overall though, it caused a whole lot of hurt so- I try hard not to return to it.

Honestly, even close friendships have ended in loss and hurt when the person has either died or, we've moved away from each other and lost the connection. While I don't exactly regret having had those people in my life. I have some very happy memories thanks to them, it's not something I'm looking to repeat. I also agree that there's a safety in being more isolated and self sufficient.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Anonymousa]

Yea I totally understand. For me I wish I never went into a relationship cus now I absolutely crave one now. I feel romantic love is an addiction and now I am suffering in constant withdrawal now without having it. It would have been better to not feel that at all as now nothing can ever compare to that feeling. Everything feels more empty without a relationship now. But if I were to go into one now, I have intense anxiety about them leaving me for if I do anything wrong and I worry I will be too much of a needy emotional burden. It feels torturous now if I am in one or I am not. If I never went into one, I would be fine being alone.

 

[maylurker]

yes its calmer and easier to live without deep feelings but it feels way too flat and empty wo someone you could care about

 

[violetforever]

i don't think i could ever deeply care or love someone again. it only resulted in me ending up in the same place but worse because now i have memories of what used to be. i've always known my place and i should have stayed there instead of letting myself be hopeful and vulnerable.

It would have been better to not feel that at all as now nothing can ever compare to that feeling

that's so true. i don't even want that feeling back now that i know it doesn't last and isn't worth much, i just want to not have felt it at all.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

I don't know. I've had two relationships. They were not healthy, and I have a lot of regrets about how I handled them. There was love, but we weren't in love, and both were also mutually exploitative. There was codependency and that ego-blurring effect where it feels like they're a part of you, but with the wrong people. Huge (and warranted) lack of trust in both relationships too, on both sides.

I've had a lot of crushes, but they were all unrequited. I've never been in a relationship with someone who I felt that intense pull and attraction towards and who I could solidly know felt the same about me. I probably won't ever because my appearance has gone to shit anyway and my personality isn't exactly magnetic.

I would like to be in love with someone who is sincerely in love with me. I think it might be unrealistic to expect something so rare and special, though. And I don't think there's anything noteworthy enough about me to fall in love with. Otherwise, I don't think I have any interest in it. I could either go full transactional companionship mode where it's sex and there's only superficial emotional contact, and no complications, or the other extreme where we're balls to the wall crazy about each other. And most importantly, we would have to either be able to fully trust each other or not be close enough that trust matters. I never want to be in the halfway state again. It is straight up maddening.

I'm not happy with the idea of never being in a relationship again but I think I could bear it.

 

[daruino]

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[StillAbyss]

For me, love has only created suffering and very few moments of joy.