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Byez

Member
Sep 13, 2023
7
I have recently been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. If I am lucky, I might live for another year, but chance of recovery is extremely unlikely.

I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts and attempts since the age of 11 due to a rough ubringing, with my parents actively contributing to my poor physical health and chronic illness that has left me mostly unable to function like a proper adult. I have spent most of my adult life bedridden, unable to properly socialize or enjoy life.

The thought of dying does not really scare me. However, I do not want to spend a year slowly withering away physically and mentally. Unfortunately, I live in central Europe, so euthanasia is not legal here and I do not have the money to afford euthanasia in Switzerland. Living in Europe also means I have no access to guns or chemicals like SN, KNO2 or cyanide without a chemist license.

I still want to die, but I want it to be quick. I know slicing wrists is not a valid method, dropping a toaster in bath will probably not work either (though I have an old apartment which has not been renovated since the 70s so there might be a chance that the safety circuits are not there or won't work as well) and trying to overdose on antidepressants is extremely risky and unreliable.
As such, could anyone recommend other methods that might work? Again, I refuse to suffer through months of detoriation. Only options I can currently think of are jumping off a tall building or jumping under a train, but I would honestly prefer to die in the privacy of my own home if possible. I am fine with some pain as long as the method is quick enough to make up for it.

I will appreciate any and all advice. I feel slightly awkward asking strangers online for the best suicide method, but as I mentioned, I find the thought of a quick, self induced death much less harrowing than a slow decline where I will be kept alive for as long as possible against my will.
 
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SkeletonFlower96

SkeletonFlower96

From 🇧🇷
Mar 28, 2026
107
Have you tought about hanging?
if you were here in brazil it would be easier to get things like SN, benzos, etc.
 
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Byez

Member
Sep 13, 2023
7
Have you tought about hanging?
if you were here in brazil it would be easier to get things like SN, benzos, etc.
In all honesty I have shockingly little information on how death by hanging actually works compared to other suicide methods. I know it has relatively high success rate (I believe higher than jumping off a building?), but I honestly have no idea what I would even attach the rope to as I don't think my apartment has anything that could support my weight. I could use the balcony but I live right by a children's playground so I would probably be found immediately + I do not want to traumatize any kids...

Of course, I could always find a nice tree in the local forest area, but if I were to kill myself outside, I believe jumping under a train would probably have a higher success rate.
 
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pcm733

Member
Jun 14, 2026
27
I believe you do have several options for accessing SN; MiC is tricky but doable and B&M SN is available.
 
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SkeletonFlower96

SkeletonFlower96

From 🇧🇷
Mar 28, 2026
107
i'll probably gonna use my SN+benzos, but if i would hang in my apartment i would use a "wall mont" to sustain the rope to do a FSH.
 
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Byez

Member
Sep 13, 2023
7
I believe you do have several options for accessing SN; MiC is tricky but doable and B&M SN is available.
Unfortunately even after finding out what MiC and B&M stand for, I was unable to actually find the websites online, even with Tor and VPN involved. Closest I got to was finding a Polish site which sold SN, but that one did not ship outside of Poland. I have done months worth of research into SN already so I don't think I can come any closer by myself without someone explicitly DMing me ways to find these

i'll probably gonna use my SN+benzos, but if i would hang in my apartment i would use a "wall mont" to sustain the rope to do a FSH.
Wall mont actually sounds like a really good idea. Thank you for the tip
 
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dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
1,198
In all honesty I have shockingly little information on how death by hanging actually works compared to other suicide methods. I know it has relatively high success rate (I believe higher than jumping off a building?), but I honestly have no idea what I would even attach the rope to as I don't think my apartment has anything that could support my weight. I could use the balcony but I live right by a children's playground so I would probably be found immediately + I do not want to traumatize any kids...

Of course, I could always find a nice tree in the local forest area, but if I were to kill myself outside, I believe jumping under a train would probably have a higher success rate.
I am so very sorry to hear about your situation and prior shitty upbringing, my heart breaks for you. As long as you have a sturdy enough branch and no one finds you within 30 minutes, you are guaranteed death and it would not be grotesquely messy like jumping in front of a train and traumatizing the conductors and possibly the passengers. I have also heard of people surviving with missing limbs! If you are determined, do more research on FSH and if done correctly, you should lose consciousness in less than a minute. There are also painless "gas" methods you could research, but the set up tends to be complicated and sometimes costly. The Charcoal method doesn't seem so bad though and inexpensive. There was a famous singer (he lived alone) in the US many years ago, who set up all the grills in his bathroom and just laid on the floor with his pillow and went to sleep. He did leave a note on his door for first responders warning of the CO2 gas buildup.
 
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DeathSweetDeath

DeathSweetDeath

Visionary
Nov 12, 2025
2,362
Idk, I'd keep looking over the SRC…

 
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Byez

Member
Sep 13, 2023
7
I am so very sorry to hear about your situation and prior shitty upbringing, my heart breaks for you. As long as you have a sturdy enough branch and no one finds you within 30 minutes, you are guaranteed death and it would not be grotesquely messy like jumping in front of a train and traumatizing the conductors and possibly the passengers. I have also heard of people surviving with missing limbs! If you are determined, do more research on FSH and if done correctly, you should lose consciousness in less than a minute. There are also painless "gas" methods you could research, but the set up tends to be complicated and sometimes costly. The Charcoal method doesn't seem so bad though and inexpensive. There was a famous singer (he lived alone) in the US many years ago, who set up all the grills in his bathroom and just laid on the floor with his pillow and went to sleep. He did leave a note on his door for first responders warning of the CO2 gas buildup.
Thank you for the kind words and the tips! I am actually looking into the painless gas methods at the moment and some of them seem to be pretty promising for a relatively good price. Thankfully even if that turns out to be unsuccessful, my area is filled with miles upon miles of deep of coniferous forests so I am sure I could find a way to find a nice spot where I won't be found for at least a few hours
 
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Fadenself00_

Fadenself00_

🍎🍎🍎
Sep 21, 2025
527
Are you located in Germany? if so, assisted suicide and even DIY suicide are technically legal and you even have a right to die
 
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ctb_warrior

ctb_warrior

I wish to CTB asap
Feb 11, 2024
1,216
I'm so sorry to hear this update.
It really feels sad.
I usually first try to mould people into avoiding ctb if their life can improve
In your situation, I'm speechless.
Even i wish to ctb.
I have CO method on my mind for myself. Because everything needed for it is available in the market.
I tried PSH but i couldn't find the sweet spot so it didn't work.
I won't try FSH because it can lead to strangulation if i do it the wrong way.
Drowning is painful so i can't think of it
SWB with gas asphyxiation seems promising but neither i have a water body to experiment nor i have a gas for asphyxia
H2S could have helped me if i was living alone as it's fast
 
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Byez

Member
Sep 13, 2023
7
Are you located in Germany? if so, assisted suicide and even DIY suicide are technically legal and you even have a right to die
Czech Republic unfortunately. Assisted suicide is considered murder from a legal standpoint here
 
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Manfrotto99

Mage
Oct 10, 2023
554
Im so sorry, I understand how an abusive traumatic family experience can ruin a life and lead to sickness and death. It seems you have been given a double whammy of suffering. It is shocking that assisted dying is not legal in your country. I really wish i could help you.
 
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pcm733

Member
Jun 14, 2026
27
Unfortunately even after finding out what MiC and B&M stand for, I was unable to actually find the websites online, even with Tor and VPN involved. Closest I got to was finding a Polish site which sold SN, but that one did not ship outside of Poland. I have done months worth of research into SN already so I don't think I can come any closer by myself without someone explicitly DMing me ways to find these


Wall mont actually sounds like a really good idea. Thank you for the tip
I think you must be wrong about what they stand for!
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,438
I'm sorry. It must really be hard, but I admit that I want to have cancer.
 
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Tommen Baratheon

Tommen Baratheon

1+1=3
Dec 26, 2023
504
Even as a foreigner you will get help for euthanasia in Belgium: you have a terminal disease and there is unbearable physical (and mental) suffering. You'd need the approval of 2 Belgian medical doctors. (Shouldn't be that hard with a terminal cancer.)

I can not give you many details, but it's worth checking out. Each year, people from France (and other countries) make the trip to Belgium to receive euthanasia. Perhaps the doctor that is treating you can make first contact with a Belgian colleague?

Edit: Ask your doctor to try and contact prof. dr. Wim Distelmans.
 
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