Discussion Best time to tell someone you’re interested

[Average Enthusiast]

Wsp, idk if this is the best place to talk about this but fuck it, we ball. I've been talking to this girl for a week now and we've been talking a lot ykno. We met on a night out and apparently she was into me (according to a mutual friend). Anyway, I'm rlly into her but if I'm being completely honest, I sometimes have the social skills of a rock, especially when it comes to this sorta stuff. Idrk what to do, do we keep talking or do I make a move? Even say that I rlly like her or some shit like that. In general, when's the right time to say that to someone, without sounding too weird or guaranted being friendzoned? We're into a lot of similar stuff, which could be a positive sign or just a sign of being just friends. Sorry if this is worded weirdly, idrk how to describe the situation (Be cool to hear others stories too )

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Just do it. You've already been told she's into you.

 

[Average Enthusiast]

Just do it. You've already been told she's into you.

True true, idk. I can be such a coward sometimes. Definitely does hold me back tho . Thanks for replying

 

[-Link-]

Don't tell her.

Come up with something that gets the two of you together, and invite her out.

And then show her. With actions.

For instance if you're standing side-by-side, you could take her by the hand. Does she reciprocate? Yes? OK, then pull her closer to you. Does she seem into it? Yes? OK, then move yourself closer to her so that you're kind of sideways body-to-body hugging.

And keep going however far you want to take it, step by step slowly enough so that she has opportunity to reject your advance.

If you have the slightest doubt about the matter of consent at any point, then just ask her "is this OK?" But most likely, you'll know without needing to ask because she'll be reciprocating everything and it'll just feel right. You could also slow down or stop and leave it to her to take the next step. You kind of just have to go through it and assess the situation in the moment.

Yes, you could simply tell her that you're interested in her, but this is redundant because somebody still has to make that first move into physicality. The knowledge that you are mutually interested isn't actually going to do much to alleviate your anxiety in this sense. A girl could be head-over-heels infatuated with you, but this still doesn't necessarily mean she wants to actually get physical or that she even wants to go out with you. So regardless of whether you have that conversation, one of you is still going to have to initiate physical contact in a way where you're looking for the other's reciprocation as you gradually escalate step by step.

If you're not interested in getting physical at this time, then let your flirting do the talking for you. It's the same concept as physicality. Again, you "can" point-blank state your interest, but that really is going to be redundant in almost all situations.

 

[Average Enthusiast]

Don't tell her.

Come up with something that gets the two of you together, and invite her out.

And then show her. With actions.

For instance if you're standing side-by-side, you could take her by the hand. Does she reciprocate? Yes? OK, then pull her closer to you. Does she seem into it? Yes? OK, then move yourself closer to her so that you're kind of sideways body-to-body hugging.

And keep going however far you want to take it, step by step slowly enough so that she has opportunity to reject your advance.

If you have the slightest doubt about the matter of consent at any point, then just ask her "is this OK?" But most likely, you'll know without needing to ask because she'll be reciprocating everything and it'll just feel right. You could also slow down or stop and leave it to her to take the next step. You kind of just have to go through it and assess the situation in the moment.

Yes, you could simply tell her that you're interested in her, but this is redundant because somebody still has to make that first move into physicality. The knowledge that you are mutually interested isn't actually going to do much to alleviate your anxiety in this sense. A girl could be head-over-heels infatuated with you, but this still doesn't necessarily mean she wants to actually get physical or that she even wants to go out with you. So regardless of whether you have that conversation, one of you is still going to have to initiate physical contact in a way where you're looking for the other's reciprocation as you gradually escalate step by step.

If you're not interested in getting physical at this time, then let your flirting do the talking for you. It's the same concept as physicality. Again, you "can" point-blank state your interest, but that really is going to be redundant in almost all situations.

I have been thinking about inviting her out for coffee and walk around the town or something. People say cinema but idk, can't rlly talk much in that environment. We do talk a lot even through text so it'll be good to be in an open environment. My biggest worry is that I don't wanna make someone uncomfortable, you know? But i suppose I'd rlly have to read the room carefully. We both have school so I wouldn't rlly be able to do anything till next weekend. But I could bring it up ASAP so that there's plenty of notice. I'm like, new to this . My last relationship, the other person took the reins for this. And this is the first time since that I've been into someone like this. I don't really wanna rush physical stuff, but holding hands or even holding her close if the time is right could work. Thank you for the advice btw

 

[-Link-]

^^ I'm rooting for you

 

[Average Enthusiast]

^^ I'm rooting for you

Thank you. I'll post a reply here if it works or not. Wish me luck

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Bro thanks for making this thread, I'm in a similar situation and need to know this too except I don't have any official confirmation whether she likes me back or not. The girl I'm interested gave me some signs that were just vague enough that I was too uncertain and now I'm worried she may have lost interest because of how I've flopped around her too that is if she even had any in the first place…

Don't tell her.

Come up with something that gets the two of you together, and invite her out.

And then show her. With actions.

For instance if you're standing side-by-side, you could take her by the hand. Does she reciprocate? Yes? OK, then pull her closer to you. Does she seem into it? Yes? OK, then move yourself closer to her so that you're kind of sideways body-to-body hugging.

And keep going however far you want to take it, step by step slowly enough so that she has opportunity to reject your advance.

If you have the slightest doubt about the matter of consent at any point, then just ask her "is this OK?" But most likely, you'll know without needing to ask because she'll be reciprocating everything and it'll just feel right. You could also slow down or stop and leave it to her to take the next step. You kind of just have to go through it and assess the situation in the moment.

Yes, you could simply tell her that you're interested in her, but this is redundant because somebody still has to make that first move into physicality. The knowledge that you are mutually interested isn't actually going to do much to alleviate your anxiety in this sense. A girl could be head-over-heels infatuated with you, but this still doesn't necessarily mean she wants to actually get physical or that she even wants to go out with you. So regardless of whether you have that conversation, one of you is still going to have to initiate physical contact in a way where you're looking for the other's reciprocation as you gradually escalate step by step.

If you're not interested in getting physical at this time, then let your flirting do the talking for you. It's the same concept as physicality. Again, you "can" point-blank state your interest, but that really is going to be redundant in almost all situations.

I don't care if this is the right advice or not, even if it's the correct answer this sounds scary as fuck. Hope you have more courage than me, OP.

 

[Average Enthusiast]

Bro thanks for making this thread, I'm in a similar situation and need to know this too except I don't have any official confirmation whether she likes me back or not. The girl I'm interested gave me some signs that were just vague enough that I was too uncertain and now I'm worried she may have lost interest because of how I've flopped around her too that is if she even had any in the first place…

I don't care if this is the right advice or not, even if it's the correct answer this sounds scary as fuck. Hope you have more courage than me, OP.

Yea bro, I'm scared asf now but tbh, there's nothing to lose. I suppose the thing is, you either eventually make your move when the time is right and maybe it goes well, maybe you get rejected. Or, not making a move at all. A couple years back I didn't make a move and for months I was still regretting about it. I suppose it's better to know if the feeling is mutual, even if that answer will hurt

 

[-Link-]

I don't care if this is the right advice or not, even if it's the correct answer this sounds scary as fuck. Hope you have more courage than me, OP.

I would frame that more as "best practices" than "right or wrong".

If a girl likes you enough, then a blunt conversation isn't going to change her feelings.

And a blunt conversation will usually be preferable to doing/saying nothing or eternally delaying.

Yea bro, I'm scared asf now but tbh, there's nothing to lose. I suppose the thing is, you either eventually make your move when the time is right and maybe it goes well, maybe you get rejected. Or, not making a move at all. A couple years back I didn't make a move and for months I was still regretting about it. I suppose it's better to know if the feeling is mutual, even if that answer will hurt

All this anxiety you're feeling, the feeling of butterflies in your stomach... I know it can be agonizing, but try to enjoy it too, or at least maybe you can appreciate this anxiety for what it is: the feelings of good potential, the feeling of someone's attention on you, the intensity of those initial feelings and igniting that spark. This is the thrill of the chase.

Whenever you find yourself stuck on a rollercoaster, the least you can do for yourself is to try to enjoy the ride~