being ugly makes me want to ctb

[Jolene79]

As someone who is considered "conventionally attractive" by society, I promise you when it comes down to it all and when you progress through life, mature, become an adult and have 900 other world problems it really starts to feel like nothing. I'll be the first one to admit that yes pretty privilege is indeed a thing and it is horrible but it does not mean that you won't get disrespected or abused etc etc. You can even have unwanted creepy attention. I got so numb to the point where I stopped taking care of myself and "let myself go" as society likes to fucking say it. It really makes me sick that society has so much emphasis on looks. I think it was Miss USA in 2019 that CTBed it shows that no matter how attractive someone is they also have feelings and thoughts outside of their looks. There are amazing people out there who will love and appreciate you for who you are and not what you look like. If someone doesn't then you know to stay the fuck away from them and they are the actual "ugly". Remember beauty is not a one size fits all. It is subjective and biased in all different time periods of history since the beginning. One person on one side of the world may not find you "attractive" but another person from another side of the world can see you as their everything and be head over heels. Social Media is sooo fake. Please don't ever comapre youselves to the fake personas that are weaponised to delude, brainwash and control you. You are more than allowed and are validated to feel the way that you do but I cannot stress how much when I say that "Ugly" is only found within.

I totally agree with this. Once I hit a certain age I realised how unimportant looks really are. I would happily swap my health problems for a disfigured face and know I would live a good life .
I didn't grow up with social media and feel this makes things so difficult for younger people. There is alot of emphasis on looks growing up and it's tough. I wish younger people could glimpse ahead into the future to see how different they'd feel. I was tormented over my big nose for years growing up. It devastated me. I could not give one stuff about any of that now

 

[Bronzehawkattack]

I totally agree with this. Once I hit a certain age I realised how unimportant looks really are. I would happily swap my health problems for a disfigured face and know I would live a good life .
I didn't grow up with social media and feel this makes things so difficult for younger people. There is alot of emphasis on looks growing up and it's tough. I wish younger people could glimpse ahead into the future to see how different they'd feel. I was tormented over my big nose for years growing up. It devastated me. I could not give one stuff about any of that now

I'm the opposite. If you gave me some kind of RPG points system where I could pick up health issues in exchange for becoming better looking, I'd pick up a handful to become attractive because looks is king and people will flat out treat you better the better you look.

 

[Obliviate]

I totally agree with this. Once I hit a certain age I realised how unimportant looks really are. I would happily swap my health problems for a disfigured face and know I would live a good life .
I didn't grow up with social media and feel this makes things so difficult for younger people. There is alot of emphasis on looks growing up and it's tough. I wish younger people could glimpse ahead into the future to see how different they'd feel. I was tormented over my big nose for years growing up. It devastated me. I could not give one stuff about any of that now

THANK YOU! There comes a time where you stop obsessing over your looks like a teenager because of being conditioned by media growing up and start focusing on the other billions of inhumane issues in the world. Again not saying that your insecurity does not matter, it is absolutely valid. When I became "pretty" in the face I was still bullied about my body since a CHILD on being too skinny, a stick, no curves, no boobs, no ass where I also began hating my body just for the pleasure of others and now as an adult I grew up, matured up realized that I only wanted curves because people and media brainwashed me into thinking my body was "ugly" I stopped obsessing over the factory produced social media fakes and started loving my body. We as humans are all MEANT to be diverse and look DIFFERENT and unique. If EVERYONE were to look the exact same robots everything would be boring, plain, basic and bland. After I had that "enlightenment" after years of insecurity I started loving my body and realized I never even wanted bigger tits and an ass it was what people wanted on me. I loved my small frame and was greatful that I just had a functioning body, our bodies are truely amazing, they fight literal wars inside when you get sick and try so hard to keep you alive even beyond your last breath and here we are as humans focused on what it looks like instead of what it does for us. So Sad. I realized that I actually loved my body it was only becuase of other people that I hated it. It was the mentality that young women all grow up on the disgusting pressures of satisfying men and existing for them. Instead of focusing on a body trend that was appealing and catered to men I started focusing on getting stronger, building muscles because that is what's sexy, a strong healthy body. Now on my last times on this earth I really wish I would have realized this sooner. But it's not our fault as impressionable young women living in a sexist demeaning society catered to precious little men. This is the message I wanted to spread not be an "egotistic bragging pretty princess". Beauty is diversity. That's it.

 

[Bronzehawkattack]

THANK YOU! There comes a time where you stop obsessing over your looks like a teenager because of being conditioned by media growing up and start focusing on the other billions of inhumane issues in the world. Again not saying that your insecurity does not matter, it is absolutely valid. When I became "pretty" in the face I was still bullied about my body since a CHILD on being too skinny, a stick, no curves, no boobs, no ass where I also began hating my body just for the pleasure of others and now as an adult I grew up, matured up realized that I only wanted curves because people and media brainwashed me into thinking my body was "ugly" I stopped obsessing over the factory produced social media fakes and started loving my body. We as humans are all MEANT to be diverse and look DIFFERENT and unique. If EVERYONE were to look the exact same robots everything would be boring, plain, basic and bland. After I had that "enlightenment" after years of insecurity I started loving my body and realized I never even wanted bigger tits and an ass it was what people wanted on me. I loved my small frame and was greatful that I just had a functioning body, our bodes are truely amazing, they fight literal wars inside when you get sick and try so hard to keep you alive even beyond your last breath and it's so sad humans are focused on what it looks like instead of what it does for us. I realized that I actually loved my body it was only becuase of other people that I hated it. It was the mentality that young women all grow up on the disgusting pressures of satisfying men and existing for them. Instead of focusing on a body trend that was appealing and catered to men I started focusing on getting stronger, building muscles because that is what's sexy, a strong healthy body. Now on my last times on this earth I really wish I would have realized this sooner. But it's not our fault as impressionable young women living in a sexist demeaning society catered to precious little men. This is the message I wanted to spread not be an "egotistic bragging pretty princess". Beauty is diversity. That's it.

Translation: You need to look ugly so other people can look good
I cant wait to die so I can stop hearing to these hot taked

 

[Obliviate]

Translation: You need to look ugly so other people can look good
I cant wait to die so I can stop hearing to these hot taked

I'm the opposite. If you gave me some kind of RPG points system where I could pick up health issues in exchange for becoming better looking, I'd pick up a handful to become attractive because looks is king and people will flat out treat you better the better you look.

You have a demented mentality and are obsessed with pleasing people and media and seeking approval just from your looks. Where you think nothing else exists besides being a fucking doll who just sits there and looks like an airhead armcandy with no original thought, mind or brain behind those dead eyes. It says alot more about you then it does the media. It's one thing for media to create the beauty standards but it's then up to society to actually accept, listen and act on them. That's why people are waking the fuck up and not giving a shit what these dumbass privileged influencers and celebrities say and look like. They even expose them for their toxic ideologies that are greatly effecting youth and ruin their careers.

You're so fucking annoying and ignorant.

 

[todiefor]

This is a very unfortunate thread of responses…I'm sorry it got so heated for all involved. I think everyone is coming from a good place. Let's cool it and hug it out we are all suffering here, let's not argue

This thread was started because OP felt so disguising and a fraud in their own body, so much so that they feel ctb is the only option for them. it really must be a very deep and painful experience to look at your body and absolutely hate it and feel like they are in the wrong body and fraudulent. I really can't imagine what that's like and I will not pretend to. I couldn't possibly imagine what they have been through to feel that way, I'm really sorry that life was so cruel as to make you feel this way.

 

[Odahviing475]

Looks really do matter. My face is hideous. I'm not saying it's a bad shape, and I like my beard. But I partially like my facial hair cause it hides all the scars underneath cause for some goddamn reason, I cannot stop picking at any blemish whatsoever.

Its unfortunate, but its reality. My body is horrendous, and the simple answer is to "lose weight" or "stop picking scabs". A lot of people refuse to associate with me cause of how I look.

Imagine even trying to get laid or getting a relationship. I want to punch my mirror and claw my eyes.

 

[Bronzehawkattack]

You have a demented mentality and are obsessed with pleasing people and media and seeking approval just from your looks. Where you think nothing else exists besides being a fucking doll who just sits there and looks like an airhead armcandy with no original thought, mind or brain behind those dead eyes. It says alot more about you then it does the media. It's one thing for media to create the beauty standards but it's then up to society to actually accept, listen and act on them. That's why people are waking the fuck up and not giving a shit what these dumbass privileged influencers and celebrities say and look like. They even expose them for their toxic ideologies that are greatly effecting youth and ruin their careers.

You're so fucking annoying and ignorant.

You're kind of right, Im obsessed with being accepted. I could add some negative traits in favor of looking better and Id be more accepted in society.

Im not the one who made nor wish to perpetuate beauty standards and lookism, I merely live in a world where lookism is a reality and I would have preferred to thusly look attractive in this world.

Barring that my only option is to continue to live in this miserable world, or reject the world by ctb-ing.

If I woke up tomorrow thinking I was attractive, it wouldnt change my fate because Id still be hideous and this world would treat me as such.
If I woke up tommorow thinking I was hideous as I do now, but was actually attractive, soon enough someone would still love me.

It was never about mentality, it was always about other people's perception of me, not my own.
Even if I shunned beauty standards, as I already do, it doesnt make a lick of difference for my fate.

Im sorry you feel that way about me, but I dont even know you.

 

[ApparentlyNot]

well, this discourse made me even more depressed lol

 

[lament.]

I'm the opposite. If you gave me some kind of RPG points system where I could pick up health issues in exchange for becoming better looking, I'd pick up a handful to become attractive because looks is king and people will flat out treat you better the better you look.

If only a system like this really existed... unfortunately it doesn't and as someone with chronic illnesses I can confidently say fitting in with society is incredibly hard, do looks help in society? Yes, sometimes, maybe even most the time in social settings. But that doesn't really matter when nobody can see you because you are consistently bedridden or you become distant from your friends from being in the hospital all the time, never seeing them face to face.

Also how did this thread become so nasty, what happened to the constructive conversations?

 

[Torabol]

One thing we can all agree on is that feeling ugly is such an awful thing. Stepping infront of a mirror and feeling hopeless as OP describes is very hard. At times, I feel that too.

 

[Bronzehawkattack]

If only a system like this really existed... unfortunately it doesn't and as someone with chronic illnesses I can confidently say fitting in with society is incredibly hard, do looks help in society? Yes, sometimes, maybe even most the time in social settings. But that doesn't really matter when nobody can see you because you are consistently bedridden or you become distant from your friends from being in the hospital all the time, never seeing them face to face.

Also how did this thread become so nasty, what happened to the constructive conversations?

Constructive conversations go out the window when someone tells you the suffering you deal with daily isnt reason to ctb.

Its all about perspective. As an ugly guy, theres plenty of health issues Id take for society and other people to accept me. But thats how you feel when your present condition makes you feel like ctb-ing, any alternative becomes better

 

[stellaburner]

You are without a doubt beautiful to someone. Even if it's just a small minority of people - you will be attractive to someone. Fitting in with societies beauty standards is not possible for the majority of people. I hope you find someone in your life who treats you as a beautiful person.

honestly i don't care that much about other people finding me attractive. i know it's possible, ppl have liked me in the past. it's the constant feeling of worthlessness and disgust toward myself that makes me want to ctb. no number of people being attracted to me could change that. especially when i'm skeptical of their attraction anyways.

I feel the same, I've been constantly called that I look like a rapist/pedo/school shooter, it's been to the point were I almost carved up my face or blinded myself, so I didn't have to look at my shit of a face, idk why people say looks don't matter when they obviously do

i'm so sorry. people are so shitty. i hope things get better for you

 

[Obliviate]

I want to clarify that I did not mean nor ever said that the suffering that one goes through with physical insecurities isn't a reason to CTB. Everyone is entitled to CTB for whatever reason it is. I understand that the insecurities can be so hard on you that it's torturous especially in this degrading fucking society where the beauty standards are ridiculous and most people are judgemental.

All that I said meant that from the person on the other side that does get the attention or have "pretty privilege" it's not what you are imagining or daydreaming about in your head especially to the people that want to be attractive just for the approval/attention or to impress other brainless people and that being the main reason for ctb which in my opinion is quite immature. My point is to just express that life doesn't revolve around looks and being obsessed with it is unhealthy and toxic.....that's it. You have every right to CTB I was just expressing my concerns on how when focusing so much on looks you forget about the actual "living" part of life. Having barbie looks mean nothing if you are just an airhead doll.

 

[that_guy2611]

too relatable

 

[Pipsqueak!]

every time i look in the mirror i consider going through with my plan. i just want to get out of this body. it doesn't feel like me. i feel disgusting and like a fraud. i want to ctb so bad, i seriously don't see a point in living if i have to live in this body

A lot of the time I wish that I was born as someone who doesn't have a lot of the problems I do. I never hated someone as much as I've hated myself.