Venting Being Taken For Granted.

[vanillamilkshakes]

I feel that after a certain amount of time, everyone begins to take my kindness, my presence, for granted, and begin to treat me as if I'm less. It's as if the 'allure' of having me as a friend seems to vanish as soon as they do have me. My social isolation truly has been my greatest downfall; I've become a joke, well, seemingly the butt of old jokes. I'm pathetic; all the effort I've put into integrating into society has turned out to be a waste of time. If you told younger me how my life would turn out, I feel he'd kill himself before it turned into reality. I feel that if I looked in on my current life as a stranger, I'd say, "I'd kill myself too if that was my life."

I don't know why I feel as if I'm waiting to achieve something before I CTB, why I just don't do it. I'm tired of it all.