Venting being broke

[zanshu]

I actually don't see people talk about this a lot when it comes to being suicidal.
I'm really, terribly fucking broke. I've been trying to find a job for the past seven months. I have debt (the biggest part of it isn't my fault, as this was an error from my old job- and I still have to pay it back) and bills to pay. Just now, my bank randomly took half of my unemployment compensation, which is already low to begin with and I don't even get by with that because I have so much to pay off monthly. I don't buy shit for myself. I can't afford to eat.

Every end of the month, my bank account is in the minus lol. The debt I owe will soon be brought into court and a lawsuit opened -> keep in mind, I live well under the poverty line so even if I desperately wanted to, I couldn't be able to pay. My credit score will be fucked for the rest of my life and I'm only 22 years old.
I don't even feel like a person anymore.

All I think about is money. Every second of the day. I'm too depressed to do anything. When I vent about it to friends and family, the blame is pushed on me. They don't wanna hear it. I doubt you guys wanna hear about it either.

So yeah, I'm cooked, it's over, and it seems like I might have to CTB sooner than I assumed.

 

[here_for_now]

I understand your pain, im almost 21 yrs my credit score is also fucked i spent 10 years trying to start a sucessful business and all I have to show for it is a 20 cent bank balance and chronic ilness no chidhood and a sprinkle of wanting to hang myself every night

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Your friends and family all suck, for treating you like shit over this. I'm sorry you're in this situation, and I wish I knew what to say that could help. At least here you are free to vent as much as you want and no one will blame you for being stuck in such a mess. In your situation, I don't know what I would do, probably end my life like you are considering doing.

Sucks I can't fix your finances for you so you don't have to deal with all the stress. So stupid that companies can sue individuals over things like this, even knowing they are stuck in poverty. It's like they just want to stamp you down into the ground on purpose and kick you while you're down. Banks and corporations are truly evil.

 

[Lamentice]

Debt/poverty is a huge reason for CTBing, I'm not sure why it's not spoken about as much. I know it though, I've been paying my debt down this year, having it gone won't bring more security, I might no longer have debt but I will certainly still be fucking poor. I was over 10k in debt at the beggining of the year, I've paid it down 6k so far.

 

[yotaka]

It's one of the major contributors for me. I can't hold a full-time job and I have more debt than I'll ever be able to pay off. Sucks that this is the way the world is, but thank God
t h e e c o n o m y️
is doing well

 

[DreamingDryad]

Definitely a big factor for me. Genuinely, if I won the lottery I could at least do what I want without worry. Maybe it wouldn't fix the deeper things that hurt, but it would certainly help a LOT. Life feels like a perpetual cycle of catching up and being poor is a huge part of that.

 

[zanshu]

Your friends and family all suck, for treating you like shit over this. I'm sorry you're in this situation, and I wish I knew what to say that could help. At least here you are free to vent as much as you want and no one will blame you for being stuck in such a mess. In your situation, I don't know what I would do, probably end my life like you are considering doing.

Sucks I can't fix your finances for you so you don't have to deal with all the stress. So stupid that companies can sue individuals over things like this, even knowing they are stuck in poverty. It's like they just want to stamp you down into the ground on purpose and kick you while you're down. Banks and corporations are truly evil.

It really sucks. To think that all of this could have been avoided if I'd just found a job and had an income somehow makes it even more sickening, even though I've sent hundreds of applications.
It's like, no matter what I try or how much, something is holding me back. When I think I can finally breathe again, something else happens. I'm just not meant for this life lol

But thank you for your words. It's nice to see someone else going "wtf?" at my situation, it makes me feel less alone.

Debt/poverty is a huge reason for CTBing, I'm not sure why it's not spoken about as much. I know it though, I've been paying my debt down this year, having it gone won't bring more security, I might no longer have debt but I will certainly still be fucking poor. I was over 10k in debt at the beggining of the year, I've paid it down 6k so far.

Seriously, congrats on paying off more than half of it in less than a year. I hope your debt situation will be fully settled soon. Being poor is always shitty, but I assume it's easier when there's no debt looming over you.
My problem is that my debt is just a couple of hundred bucks (not even 1k afaik), and they're still willing to sue me over it. The worse thing is, is that I don't have a couple hundred bucks to spare lol

It's one of the major contributors for me. I can't hold a full-time job and I have more debt than I'll ever be able to pay off. Sucks that this is the way the world is, but thank God
t h e e c o n o m y️
is doing well

Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear about that. I also couldn't hold my last job at all.
Also, I love the album cover of kinokoteikoku you're using as your pfp

 

[100memoryleaks]

if I were rich I'd give you a million dollars :(((

 

[lastappleonearth]

I'm sorry this is happening to you, you deserve more supportive friends and family.
Unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I hope that somehow things get better for you

 

[Misanthrope0000]

I actually don't see people talk about this a lot when it comes to being suicidal.
I'm really, terribly fucking broke. I've been trying to find a job for the past seven months. I have debt (the biggest part of it isn't my fault, as this was an error from my old job- and I still have to pay it back) and bills to pay. Just now, my bank randomly took half of my unemployment compensation, which is already low to begin with and I don't even get by with that because I have so much to pay off monthly. I don't buy shit for myself. I can't afford to eat.

Every end of the month, my bank account is in the minus lol. The debt I owe will soon be brought into court and a lawsuit opened -> keep in mind, I live well under the poverty line so even if I desperately wanted to, I couldn't be able to pay. My credit score will be fucked for the rest of my life and I'm only 22 years old.
I don't even feel like a person anymore.

All I think about is money. Every second of the day. I'm too depressed to do anything. When I vent about it to friends and family, the blame is pushed on me. They don't wanna hear it. I doubt you guys wanna hear about it either.

So yeah, I'm cooked, it's over, and it seems like I might have to CTB sooner than I assumed.

I'm 21, highschool drop out, never worked a day in my life and just feel like a leech using my family's resources all the time, I've been a NEET for a while and it's genuinely so horrible, I may not relate to being broke by myself like you but being broke in general hurts, I do have support but that feeling is so horrible that I think if I die it'll be better for them since they won't have to waste money and resources on my anymore, you're not alone at all

 

[yotaka]

Also, I love the album cover of kinokoteikoku you're using as your pfp

You're the first person who has recognized it. I want to hug you