Discussion Being a virgin still in your 30's

[Eren]

The people who say that have no idea what it is like to go your entire life without.

In my case, what bothers me is not being able to have a normal sex life with a partner with whom to share it, that emotional and intimate factor that gives you sex with your partner.

 

[Nem]

I was born a non virgin, dr said my face was screwed. You'll be okay, sex is only a small part of relationships and not something to die over necessarily
Peace/hugs

 

[Read123456788]

I dont want to be a chick magnet i just want a girl that will love me, accept me who i am and fuck why the fuck girls have this fucked opinion about men that they have to accept me as i am. And themself has this unreachable expectation for men that they have to be fucked prince on white horse. Thats unfair.

Pretty little girl that have to be broken somehow and man have to rescue them from their shyness - thats what image of a woman i have. I dont know whats to do with it. Is that what i am atracted to? Is this even real?

Most woman this days are selfconciouss, brave and strong. Stronger than most of the men. So why the fuck hollywood, making this image of little broken sparrow?

I dont know what is real anymore.

Sometimes the actual thing love occurs when you drop any expectations about it. It doesn't matter who you are where you are I truly believe there is someone for everyone. My husband died 6 months ago and there is a 30 year difference between us. He's not rich, most handsome etc but he's bloody perfect for me. Don't give up your hope over sex.

 

[PaYo]

Sometimes the actual thing love occurs when you drop any expectations about it. It doesn't matter who you are where you are I truly believe there is someone for everyone. My husband died 6 months ago and there is a 30 year difference between us. He's not rich, most handsome etc but he's bloody perfect for me. Don't give up your hope over sex.

Yeah, that's true, sometimes, and it very rare. That's situation occurs 3 times in my life and i always fucked it up. Just by my psychological problems, life history and weak self esteem. (I was in jail) So yeah... that's something I want to hide from everybody else.

 

[Read123456788]

Yeah, that's true, sometimes, and it very rare. That's situation occurs 3 times in my life and i always fucked it up. Just by my psychological problems, life history and weak self esteem. (I was in jail) So yeah... that's something I want to hide from everybody else.

Might not always be you and your doing more likely you telling yourself that to get over it. At the end of it you've nothing to lose just be kind to yourself

 

[Eren]

I was born a non virgin, dr said my face was screwed. You'll be okay, sex is only a small part of relationships and not something to die over necessarily
Peace/hugs

It is not true, I do not say that a relationship is based on sex, but it is an important part, and more when you are young, I feel really frustrated and it is my main reason for ctb.

 

[Oblivion]

Go get a hooker. Fly to Southeast Asia if you have to. Sex ain't all that great anyways

sex is one of the most amzing things in life, IF the girl is into you, ive had hooker sex before, its fucking disgusting, she doesnt want you, she doesnt like you, shes doing it for the money, while if the girl likes you and wants you, its amazing.
I've been in many relationships, 2 passionate ones, no full sex but passionate foreplay, one of them really madly insanely loved me ( no idea why, im disgusting, ugly, bald,terrible fucked up social skills, embarrassing and cant do anything right).
one day i started hating her (didnt know why) later i left her.
she went to my dad and begged him to do something and cried her eyes out, she begged me to come back to her, she even made up a story that shes pregnant(although we didnt have full sex) so she can see me
and when she saw me, she'd stare in my face while being real close for like 5 minutes, as if shes seeing the most beautiful thing in the universe, which is extremely weird, cause even i cant look at myself in the mirror for being so ugly and repulsive

 

[ThriveOrDie]

I can't even make out with someone I don't have feelings for. Sex with a hooker will probably make you feel even more empty if you are craving love and intimacy.

 

[snowman626]

So many saying fly to SE Asia. Why do you even need to go to SE Asia? Arent there escorts in your own country?

For $300 i can get an hour with a smoking hot 20 year old blonde college student. This SE Asia thing makes no sense.

Go get a hooker. Fly to Southeast Asia if you have to. Sex ain't all that great anyways

I mean if your that desperate wouldnt it be easier to just find some random crack whore on the street who will do it for $20 than to spend $1000s on an international trip?

 

[mnjkl]

Yeah, that's true, sometimes, and it very rare. That's situation occurs 3 times in my life and i always fucked it up. Just by my psychological problems, life history and weak self esteem. (I was in jail) So yeah... that's something I want to hide from everybody else.

If someone really thinks less of you because you were in jail then they're boring, anyone who understands the complexity of our fucked up society wouldn't care about that.

 

[PaYo]

sex is one of the most amzing things in life, IF the girl is into you, ive had hooker sex before, its fucking disgusting, she doesnt want you, she doesnt like you, shes doing it for the money, while if the girl likes you and wants you, its amazing.
I've been in many relationships, 2 passionate ones, no full sex but passionate foreplay, one of them really madly insanely loved me ( no idea why, im disgusting, ugly, bald,terrible fucked up social skills, embarrassing and cant do anything right).
one day i started hating her (didnt know why) later i left her.
she went to my dad and begged him to do something and cried her eyes out, she begged me to come back to her, she even made up a story that shes pregnant(although we didnt have full sex) so she can see me
and when she saw me, she'd stare in my face while being real close for like 5 minutes, as if shes seeing the most beautiful thing in the universe, which is extremely weird, cause even i cant look at myself in the mirror for being so ugly and repulsive

I love you story. That is made the point that there is no worth what we are thinking about ourself but what other thinks about us. I think that the point of relation to see us from their perspective.

 

[peacefully31425]

Sex is awesome at first, but as I've grown older, I've realized that it is just a waste of time to seek it out. I probably won't have sex again unless someone else propositions and I find them attractive. The juice isn't worth the squeeze.

 

[First loss]

So many saying fly to SE Asia. Why do you even need to go to SE Asia? Arent there escorts in your own country?

For $300 i can get an hour with a smoking hot 20 year old blonde college student. This SE Asia thing makes no sense.



I mean if your that desperate wouldnt it be easier to just find some random crack whore on the street who will do it for $20 than to spend $1000s on an international trip?

You do not go to hookers to SEA. You find a wife.

 

[Alec]

It's simple. Did P go into V?

No? Then you're a virgin. Yes? Then you're not.
[/QUOTE]
Lmao then what about gay people? Who's genitals never touched genitals of the opposite sex even though they had sexual relations with people of the same sex? Are they virgin their whole lives? This is ridiculous, virginity is just a concept made up by people. For females it could be about Hymen but male virginity basically doesn't exist it only exists in people's imagination. Virginity is just a way to say whether a person had sexual relations or not, it's not about "P touching V" not to mention straight sex isn't just about P in a V either. So yes, oral sex counts too as a way to loose a virginity because it is a sexual act involving another person. Damn even someone masturbating you can be considered loosing virginity.

 

[mplslonely]

I lost my virgnity at 34. My birthday is right before the holidays and it was a trying time. Cried myself to sleep many nights and NYE was really bad. Basically came up with a few rules. If I tried and failed I could catch the bus. The other real rule was to make her say no. I contacted someone on Reddit (RAOBJ) and lost it within 3 weeks. Went on the only dates in my lfe. It wasn't great as anxiety and erections aren't friends. Pretty much still take a helper pill to make things work. Took 6 tries before I had an orgasm. Sex is fun but not everything. The cuddling is far more rewarding.

Having someone care for you and being intimate is the only thing that really reduced the urge to CTB. I found someone I want to wife and it isn't so gloomy anymore.

 

[iiii5555]

What's the problem with being a virgen, though? You're appling artificial, culturally-defined qualifiers to your life, impering your ability to be happy. Think about it: Does being a virgin holds any negative conotations outside from the very specific cultural context that has been imposed onto you? When you reach the conclusion that such label is meaningless, you're going to be able to modify your behavior in order to not delude yourself anymore, thus attaining a better quality of life.

 

[Wayfaerer]

@Alec There is a thing among catholic girls where they would take it in the dumper instead of the front door so that they could retain their "purity" for marriage (lol)

 

[PaYo]

What's the problem with being a virgen, though? You're appling artificial, culturally-defined qualifiers to your life, impering your ability to be happy. Think about it: Does being a virgin holds any negative conotations outside from the very specific cultural context that has been imposed onto you? When you reach the conclusion that such label is meaningless, you're going to be able to modify your behavior in order to not delude yourself anymore, thus attaining a better quality of life.

Pls stop being ridiculous. Sex is important. If you cant have it and every connection with girl is breaking down because of your self doubt the there is easy to freak out. You gonna make lifelong mistakes and going to be anxious.

But as i said its not about the sex all along. Its about relation and improving yourself. When everyone around me living their life. I m sitting in my house 10 years now only with mym mom as my roommate. So thats fucked up.
If you dont have sex belive me you freak out about having it

 

[drake4871]

Personally I'm pretty lucky, I've had girls approach me throughout my life. But honestly sex isn't even as great as you're likely making it out to be. It's fun, it feels good, but so does my hand hahaha. Personally, I had an issue with porn that I had to overcome before I started doing the approaching; I know a few other people who had similar issues, maybe that's your case?

 

[TAW122]

I've read your posts and while my situation isn't exactly the same, it's quite similar. I'll give my two cents on this. I'm also approaching 30, will turn 29 in about a month from now. I am also a virgin and in fact, I don't have a girlfriend nor had any romantic advances before (including kissing - though I have been kissed platonically (non-sexual/romantic) by some people) only platonic ones. I had little problem getting hugs from others (for the most part unless they are a complete stranger in the middle of no-where). However, as far as the college scene and dating scene, well that ship has already long sailed for me (been over 7 years since I've graduated uni and almost 2 years since graduate school (also uni)).

I have thought about losing my virginity before 30 as a big goal. Knowing how shitty the dating market is for men (especially more so for Asian American males living in the US - I have talked about it in another thread somewhere so ask me if you want details), escorts and prostitutes are the path that I have chosen to take. However, the caveat is that in the US prostitution and escorting (anything that involves sex and money/assets) is illegal except for the state of Nevada (which is out of my reach - but that's a different topic for another time). Therefore, I have planned and booked a trip to Europe where prostitution is legal and where I have high confidence that I will be able to lose my virginity and most importantly, experience sexual intercourse (don't even consider finishing/orgasming but nice if I did) so I can put the issue to rest. I also gave myself permission that if I did not achieve what I set out to do (I've even set the bar very low and tried not to have too many demands or expectations but just the traditional sex), then I would CTB sometime after the trip (before my 30th birthday for sure). While I do have many other reasons to CTB (as mentioned in other threads I made), this would be a major push towards CTB if I failed to achieve my objectives.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

Personally I'm pretty lucky, I've had girls approach me throughout my life. But honestly sex isn't even as great as you're likely making it out to be. It's fun, it feels good, but so does my hand hahaha. Personally, I had an issue with porn that I had to overcome before I started doing the approaching; I know a few other people who had similar issues, maybe that's your case?

Thank you for sharing! Porn makes it difficult for men to connect with women.

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

I came to terms that i'd most likely be forever alone in grade school lol i'm only 25

 

[mnjkl]

I've read your posts and while my situation isn't exactly the same, it's quite similar. I'll give my two cents on this. I'm also approaching 30, will turn 29 in about a month from now. I am also a virgin and in fact, I don't have a girlfriend nor had any romantic advances before (including kissing - though I have been kissed platonically (non-sexual/romantic) by some people) only platonic ones. I had little problem getting hugs from others (for the most part unless they are a complete stranger in the middle of no-where). However, as far as the college scene and dating scene, well that ship has already long sailed for me (been over 7 years since I've graduated uni and almost 2 years since graduate school (also uni)).

I have thought about losing my virginity before 30 as a big goal. Knowing how shitty the dating market is for men (especially more so for Asian American males living in the US - I have talked about it in another thread somewhere so ask me if you want details), escorts and prostitutes are the path that I have chosen to take. However, the caveat is that in the US prostitution and escorting (anything that involves sex and money/assets) is illegal except for the state of Nevada (which is out of my reach - but that's a different topic for another time). Therefore, I have planned and booked a trip to Europe where prostitution is legal and where I have high confidence that I will be able to lose my virginity and most importantly, experience sexual intercourse (don't even consider finishing/orgasming but nice if I did) so I can put the issue to rest. I also gave myself permission that if I did not achieve what I set out to do (I've even set the bar very low and tried not to have too many demands or expectations but just the traditional sex), then I would CTB sometime after the trip (before my 30th birthday for sure). While I do have many other reasons to CTB (as mentioned in other threads I made), this would be a major push towards CTB if I failed to achieve my objectives.

You don't have to travel to Europe for that, just because it's illegal doesn't mean it's hard to find...

 

[PaYo]

I just had sex!

 

[drake4871]

I just had sex!

How'd that go?

 

[PaYo]

kind of AWESOME!. I might be not so good at it after all, but i gave her 5 orgasms, she gave me non, i had problems with erection coz of mastrubation. But i did it with my hands...

so yeah... exciting.

by the way, se3x change everything...

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

I just had sex!

 

[PaYo]

yeah thats the title xd i know it

 

[magick'sgone]

You do not go to hookers to SEA. You find a wife.

I beg to differ. £25 a night\day for a nice girl to chill with, be shown around by, play about in the bedroom? Fuck yes. One of the last real bargains on earth in my opinion. However, there's no need to pay for it in SEA if you're kind and up for a laugh.

 

[Rachel74]

Try a swingers Website.
I used to be one but then started the menopause had no sex drive and became old and boring.