Discussion Being a virgin still in your 30's

[PaYo]

Omg i did it and thread died xd? Whats that? "mamy cie"?

 

[TAW122]

You don't have to travel to Europe for that, just because it's illegal doesn't mean it's hard to find...

Actually, I looked around in the US and couldn't find anything that was feasible, plus I don't know anyone IRL who knows about the industry let alone pointing me to legit sources. I am also leery of possibly getting scammed, robbed, and/or worst yet fall into a sting, plus the whole maneuvering around legality and stuff seems to much work for me. Nevada is too expensive for me so Amsterdam it is. I suppose SEA would work, but it'll be more expensive to go there from the US and probably harder to get around than Europe/Amsterdam.

 

[mnjkl]

Actually, I looked around in the US and couldn't find anything that was feasible, plus I don't know anyone IRL who knows about the industry let alone pointing me to legit sources. I am also leery of possibly getting scammed, robbed, and/or worst yet fall into a sting, plus the whole maneuvering around legality and stuff seems to much work for me. Nevada is too expensive for me so Amsterdam it is. I suppose SEA would work, but it'll be more expensive to go there from the US and probably harder to get around than Europe/Amsterdam.

I'm sure you could find a shady massage place or find someone on a site like backpage/craigslist, but Amsterdam is a beautiful city so if you can afford to go there then I guess you might as well. Don't set your expectations too high though, as soon as you're finished you'll probably suddenly realize that you just wasted a huge amount of effort, money, and stress over nothing.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Try a swingers Website.
I used to be one but then started the menopause had no sex drive and became old and boring.

I have the following issues with that:

1.) Swingers aren't going to want some awkward virgin
2.) Promiscuity is one thing, but infidelity is another

As far as point #2 goes, I've always disliked the former but thoroughly loathed the latter. I admit, however, as my bitterness and cynicism has soared to new heights, I'm finding that my own morality is becoming much more flexible. If you can't beat them, why not join them? Oh yeah, point #1, forgot about that one. Even within the throes of nihilism, I don't know if my conscious could handle it anyway. Maybe, but maybe not.

I'm not going to bother going back to the gym, buy nice clothes, keep up regular hygiene practices and try to swoon girls the old fashioned way because I simply do not have the time or energy for any of that. So, that eliminates all of the free options...

 

[mattwitt]

I'm in my 40's and still a super virgin lol And for the record being a virgin has never made me want to kill myself ever. : )

 

[Wayfaerer]

I'm in my 40's and still a super virgin lol And for the record being a virgin has never made me want to kill myself ever. : )

Being a virgin never made me want to kill myself but I never wanted to die as one.

 

[mattwitt]

Being a virgin never made me want to kill myself but I never wanted to die as one.

I never wanted to die a virgin either. I just don't want to have sex with anyone unless we are totally in love and in lust we each other and married.

 

[namelessX8]

who needs sex when one can take drugs?

 

[Wayfaerer]

who needs sex when one can take drugs?

Why not both?

 

[namelessX8]

Why not both?

I feel obtaining both is an unattainable goal (for me at least). It's easier to drown loneliness with stimulants than to make the effort to impress someone.

 

[jrums]

I have the following issues with that:

1.) Swingers aren't going to want some awkward virgin
2.) Promiscuity is one thing, but infidelity is another

As far as point #2 goes, I've always disliked the former but thoroughly loathed the latter. I admit, however, as my bitterness and cynicism has soared to new heights, I'm finding that my own morality is becoming much more flexible. If you can't beat them, why not join them? Oh yeah, point #1, forgot about that one. Even within the throes of nihilism, I don't know if my conscious could handle it anyway. Maybe, but maybe not.

I'm not going to bother going back to the gym, buy nice clothes, keep up regular hygiene practices and try to swoon girls the old fashioned way because I simply do not have the time or energy for any of that. So, that eliminates all of the free options...

Bless you're honesty man. Speaking the truth

 

[mathieu]

I think sex is overrated. It can be amazing but rarely is. I wouldn't put so much emphasis on it if I were you.

 

[blanketyblk]

 

[Passenger]

I have the following issues with that:

1.) Swingers aren't going to want some awkward virgin
2.) Promiscuity is one thing, but infidelity is another

As far as point #2 goes, I've always disliked the former but thoroughly loathed the latter. I admit, however, as my bitterness and cynicism has soared to new heights, I'm finding that my own morality is becoming much more flexible. If you can't beat them, why not join them? Oh yeah, point #1, forgot about that one. Even within the throes of nihilism, I don't know if my conscious could handle it anyway. Maybe, but maybe not.

I'm not going to bother going back to the gym, buy nice clothes, keep up regular hygiene practices and try to swoon girls the old fashioned way because I simply do not have the time or energy for any of that. So, that eliminates all of the free options...

1) As a regular swinger club attendee I disagree. There are places where everything is dark so you don't see the people anyway.

 

[Guizin239]

Same situation on my side

 

[Avery Jordan]

I bang escorts from online. Some of them have been top porn star quality. I've pretty much grown out of that by now though but it was nice while it lasted

 

[Kassender]

Youre really not missing much tbh

 

[Heart of Ice]

I will die a virgin and it sucks, but there was never any hope for me anyway. I have genetic disorders that basically destroys any possibility of getting sex that is not paid or out of sheer pity. As petty as it sounds, dying a virgin is actually one of the only regrets I have right now.

I'm a firm believer that true love exists only in fairytales. I don't care about love at this point; I mainly would enjoy getting to experience sex once in my life. Prostitution is legal here, but not an option for me.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

"No one dies virgin. Life fucks us all" Kurt Cobain

 

[Wayfaerer]

Shoot. Oral sex better than P in V anyways.

After having been with an escort twice since I had posted in this thread, I'd have to agree. That has been my experience as well but MAN do condoms suck! Oral was the only thing she'd do without a condom and that's probably why I liked it so much

The saddest part of all of this for me has been the fact that it didn't really have to be like this. I'm not ugly, I don't lack charm, and I'm not even terribly shy, I just had too many mental problems to just be able to "live" before (and homeschooling) and by the time CTB was the only real option I see now more than ever how much I was missing out on. I've already accepted that I will never know love, whether as the giver of it or the recipient.

For those who had had at all, even if only temporarily, it would be impossible to understand.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Skimming through the thread and reading, I feel like it boosted the idea there is someone out in the world for everyone. A lot of people with similar variables. Just my observation.

 

[SNOB]

men hit their peak later on life. don't worry about it man. if it really upsets u that much u could always see a sex worker. it's a solvable problem. u don't have to be super good looking just get used to talking to new people about yourself:)

 

[Ashu]

i know it's hard to understand, but sex really only makes up like 0.001% of your total life. it's not the be all and end all of life.. there are many many things i enjoy more than sex. truly. i didn't had sex for ages after my partner died. it was close to 9 years. it's not that important..

It's enormously important for many people. If it isn't for you, it's not because of anything you've realized or decided, but because people are different, what's true for one isn't true for another, and nobody chooses to be what they are.

I would if I had the money for travel. I'm only going to have 4-5 grand for the rest of the year. I don't have any bills, though.


It's simple. Did P go into V?

No? Then you're a virgin. Yes? Then you're not.

What matters here is the facts of the matter, and those he has described to us.

Youre really not missing much tbh

On the contrary, sexual love is the most important thing in life. Prove me wrong. Or... could it possibly be a subjective thing that's different for everyone? Naaah.

I think sex is overrated. It can be amazing but rarely is. I wouldn't put so much emphasis on it if I were you.

No, you would put precisely so much emphasis on it, because then you would be him and not you.

Sex is awesome at first, but as I've grown older, I've realized that it is just a waste of time to seek it out.

Maybe this isn't an objectively true fact that you've "realized", but a change of attitude due to... growing older?

What's the problem with being a virgen, though? You're appling artificial, culturally-defined qualifiers to your life, impering your ability to be happy.

Oh no, that undergraduate "everything is a social construct" shit. No, desire is not a social construct, and its social conditionedness is greatly exaggerated.

Think about it:

Please.

Does being a virgin holds any negative conotations outside from the very specific cultural context that has been imposed onto you?

He wants to experience sexual love, and never has. That's real suffering that can't be explained away by these Sociology 101 word games.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Sex is WACK unless it's with someone you have chemistry with. As someone who was misinformed and influenced incorrectly my life could have turned out so much better if I stayed away from porn and men until I saved up plastic surgery to date. Now I'm a collection of bullying trauma, family dysfunction, 3 traumatic experiences with men.


It was not worth it. My blueprint would have been

1. Save for plastic surgery
2. Don't pick skin and cure acne
3. Stay away from porn and masturbation
4. Learn dance and martial arts
5. By 28 I should be able to enjoy life but be socially behind by 10 years which sucks but oh well

 

[September5th]

Gonna be honest. I know I'll sound crazy. However, in a way, I truly miss the days I was virgin. No ex girlfriend, no party bimbos... Everything I cared about was my good and old Dragon Ball. I was happy.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

For me personally I think sex should be for reproduction only but that's my opinion. For woman. Men are designed different but some are able to live without sex until marriage

Sex is so overrated. People are so obsessed with it while it's not worth it at all.

Agreed not worth it