Hi, I'm not sure how to start something like this.
I've never been a stranger to suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I'm 6 attempts deep, some with more effort others with less. The last one was 2019, and truthfully I don't think any of them were ever with my heart 100% committed.
6 months ago, my life took a sharp turn down. My partner of 8 years dumped me when I found out my service dog was dying. I have tried to hang on and deal with it, spent thousands trying to prolong my dog's life.
Now, I'm trying to work off the debt. Things are still hard but some days feel better. But today my living situation gets pulled out from under me, and I can't afford to find another arrangement and I'm out of options.
It feels like such a fucking slap in the face. 6 months of pulling the pieces together to try to make my life worth holding onto just to have it shattered further past recognition.
And it's hit me that this is what the beginning of the end really feels like. I've fought this thing for so long and it's a losing game. I've only slipped further and further down the rope. Everything that's tethered me to this earth has slowly been cut away. I'm out of options, and I'm ready to give up, finally ready to catch the bus that I've always known is coming for me.
Thanks to anyone who reads or replies to this, it brings me some kind of comfort to be in a space with others that are also facing their end in some way, shape, or form. I appreciate the company, hoping we all rest easy soon
I've never been a stranger to suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I'm 6 attempts deep, some with more effort others with less. The last one was 2019, and truthfully I don't think any of them were ever with my heart 100% committed.
6 months ago, my life took a sharp turn down. My partner of 8 years dumped me when I found out my service dog was dying. I have tried to hang on and deal with it, spent thousands trying to prolong my dog's life.
Now, I'm trying to work off the debt. Things are still hard but some days feel better. But today my living situation gets pulled out from under me, and I can't afford to find another arrangement and I'm out of options.
It feels like such a fucking slap in the face. 6 months of pulling the pieces together to try to make my life worth holding onto just to have it shattered further past recognition.
And it's hit me that this is what the beginning of the end really feels like. I've fought this thing for so long and it's a losing game. I've only slipped further and further down the rope. Everything that's tethered me to this earth has slowly been cut away. I'm out of options, and I'm ready to give up, finally ready to catch the bus that I've always known is coming for me.
Thanks to anyone who reads or replies to this, it brings me some kind of comfort to be in a space with others that are also facing their end in some way, shape, or form. I appreciate the company, hoping we all rest easy soon
