Venting BDD destroyed my life

[franos666]

I need some tips for my situation.

I think my life would be decent if I were more handsome and accepted myself. I have BDD that makes me constantly worried about my apperance and it destroys my mental health.

Why i think my life would be decent if not BDD?
I have slighty above avarage IQ
I have plan for the future to become paramedic
I have friends and I am not shy as I used to be
I live in good country, have home and money
My body looks normal, I am skinny and 6'1ft
I am young (18yo) and healthy

If only I accepted my face I think my life would be very different but I am not able to do it. My therapist doesn't even help me. She says that I am handsome and I just shouldn't worry about how I look but it doesn't work at all and I don't trust her. She also admited that she doesn't have any experience with BDD. I've been taking SSRI for 8 months and it reduced my social anxiety but not BDD. I think that my father is mainly responsible for state of my mental health because he was very often toxic towards me.

This thought that my life would be so much better If I didn't have BDD is so painful. I've been thinking about hanging myself for so long because I feel very depressed

 

[VanillaCake]

I think changing therapist might be worth trying. You don't seem to trust her (which imo is important in therapy) and she seldom admitted to not having experience with BDD (and thus perhaps not the right approach for it).

You seem to be well aware of all the positive things in your life (apart from BDD) so perhaps there's still hope for you.

You are in a lot of pain and deserve to be free from it