I can't get the thought that i'm a horrible person and that i deserve nothing out of my head I know i'm definitely not the worse guy ever but i still feel like a bad person and i just cant figure out why. I have a girlfriend, friends who care about me, and a group that accepts me but yet i cant help but feel like i'd be better off gone like no one would miss me and likely forget about me it shakes me up. I can only think about last year i remember hearing about a student that killed himself at the place i attend but no one seemed to care about it except the people he was close to and me for some reason i have no reason to care about that person yet i fear i may become like them because i doubt anyone i know even remembers that person, hell i don't even remember their name
Thank you for reading I'm sorry for the annoying read I love all of you feel free to message me about whatever, I really need someone to talk to
You sound so sad and when I read what you wrote, I could almost sense the pain there. Interestingly I find that usually people who are horrible do not always think of themselves as horrible - it is usually people with certain challenges, low self confidence, people suffering from mental health challenges, neurodivergence and people with certain vulnerabilities who often think that they are horrible and feel that yhe world might be better off without them and that is simply not true - Inappreciate that it is easy for me (a total stranger) to say that and difficult for you to remember. But honestly if you open another chat/thread on this forum and ask us how many of us feel like you, you be surprised as to how many of us shares those feelings including myself.., Your feelings are normal, but the reality is probably different.
Also when we do die, the only people who will remember us or miss us are those who have felt close to us and if each of us had that one person, then that sounds positive. I remember quite a few people whilst I haven't been close to whobhave died - including some people that I barely knew. But death and loss is something very personal to all of us and I am happy for you that you friends who care about you..,
Are you able tontey and work on your self confidence including perhaps having some daily affirmations about positive feelings towards yourself? That might help.., Just a suggestion.
Good Luck