Bad Experience Looking for N in Tijuana

[kettlevinbarq]

Welp, no dice in Tijuana, yesterday.

I live a couple hours from TJ so I drove to the San Ysidro port of entry, parked my car, and walked over to TJ. Took less than 2 min.

I hired a driver for the day so I could hop from vet pharmacy shop to shop without having to wait every time for uber/didi/taxi. I went to at least 25+ shops. They all said that I needed a prescription and that it can't be sold because it's a controlled substance or that they didn't have it. When I offered $1000 USD to buy it, some of them absolutely refused and were shocked. A couple shopkeepers, however, really considered it.

One of the seedier looking small shops perked up when I offered him money. He said he really didn't have it but called up his buddy and asked but he also didn't have it. I asked him where I could get it and he suggested a distributor. I go to the distributor and ask him and he says no of course. I then tell him I'll give him $1000 USD. He thinks about it really long and hard and then goes to a back room. He's there for a while and so I'm like oh shit is it happening? He comes back empty handed and says no. It wasn't clear if he didn't have any or he changed his mind but just no.

I also went to 2 shops listed in the PPeH that said they've previously sold it. They both said no, even to my cash offer, but you can tell from their reaction it was very different from other shops. Other shops were truly taken aback when I asked them but these 2 were just like, nah. When I asked where I could get it, one of the shops just told me to go to the other one.

I also went to a shop another SS member used previously (the member said the last time they tried the shopkeepers said they were completely out and couldn't find it anywhere but I thought it was worth a try anyways while I was there). When I asked the shop, they refused me. They weren't out, they just said it was illegal and wouldn't sell it to me. I guess everyone in TJ is spooked.

So yeah, idk, maybe I wasn't convincing enough or didn't offer enough money but I wouldn't bet on TJ if you want to get N. This was an extremely exhausting and demoralizing day and tbh, just made me realize how much more I wanted to kms. Why is it so hard to die? Why can't I just die in peace?

I guess in the end it was good I didn't bring any N back with me because upon re-entering the US, I got detained. I have no idea why, when the border agent was looking at my document Idk what set him off but he made me go into the detention room of shame. He searched me and my bags. Luckily I had nothing illegal. Eventually they let me go but it was a horrible 3 hours in border purgatory. They still never told me why I was detained.

I'm not gonna go to other countries to look for N after what happened upon re-entering the border. I hope my SN shipment comes through and I guess I'll just have to have a less peaceful death.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

Fuck life. Fuck our governments. And FUCK RELIGION for making people so anti suicide. Fuck everything

 

[oddetoad]

Double the amount and lets see what they say

(spoiler: they'll do it)

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Double the amount and lets see what they say

(spoiler: they'll do it)

Are you being serious

 

[oddetoad]

Are you being serious

Yes, the only reason they're hesistant is because it's not enough money.
With enough money you will get N. It's just a matter of asking the right shopowner.
I think its possible you're coming off as too desperate / untrustworthy as well or something about your .. aura puts them off too or scares them if this is how they react to your offer. Try using someone well versed in spanish to help you out bribing them, I think it will greatly increase your chances.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Yes, the only reason they're hesistant is because it's not enough money.
With enough money you will get N. It's just a matter of asking the right shopowner.
I think you're coming off as too desperate / untrustworthy as well or something about your .. aura puts them off too or scares them.

well fuck me I guess. I speak some spanish but I guess bc I'm a young asian woman they think I'm too sus

 

[xsa]

fuck this whole society for being so anti-suicide.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

$1000 really isn't that much money for possibly getting arrested and having your business shut down.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

$1000 really isn't that much money for possibly getting arrested and having your business shut down.

Well anything more than 3k I'd rather just use SN

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Well anything more than 3k I'd rather just use SN

Yeah, fair enough.

 

[alwayssearching202]

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I also live a couple of hours from the same border and considered this option. I decided against because I was too concerned with personal safety going around town with a lot of cash as a solo female. (Ironic for someone desperate to leave this earth but I want it to be on my terms).

A couple of questions:
1. Do you speak Spanish? If no, do you think that was part of the barrier?
2. Did any of the shops ask why? Like, did you get a chance to show a photo of a pup on your phone and say you needed it for your beloved pet?
3. Care to share your personal thought process why you chose SN if N is unaccessible? I've cycled through nearly every possible method and am leaning in another direction (SCUBA). Just curious your thought process.

Thank you again for sharing your experience. It is tragic there aren't easier options for us to decide we're done.

 

[FadingFast2023]

Thanks for sharing this information.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I also live a couple of hours from the same border and considered this option. I decided against because I was too concerned with personal safety going around town with a lot of cash as a solo female. (Ironic for someone desperate to leave this earth but I want it to be on my terms).

A couple of questions:
1. Do you speak Spanish? If no, do you think that was part of the barrier?
2. Did any of the shops ask why? Like, did you get a chance to show a photo of a pup on your phone and say you needed it for your beloved pet?
3. Care to share your personal thought process why you chose SN if N is unaccessible? I've cycled through nearly every possible method and am leaning in another direction (SCUBA). Just curious your thought process.

Thank you again for sharing your experience. It is tragic there aren't easier options for us to decide we're done.

I completely agree with you about the personal safety thing. I want to go out peacefully, not kidnapped and trafficked. but yeah carrying a wad of cash as a woman was really scary because there were definitely some…characters in TJ. Hiring a personal driver instead of catching sketchy taxis or waiting around for an uber somewhere which gives people an opportunity to rob me, kept me safe.

1. I speak a little but I guess because I'm not able to negotiate more in a more complex way it didn't help. Another member, said it was probably bc I looked too sus which is likely true as a non-mexican.
2. I always said because my pet horse broke one of its legs and once a horse breaks a leg they're pretty much done for. I said my vet was charging an astronomical amount of money to euthanize the horse so I thought TJ was a cheaper option. I feel like it doesn't matter what your story is because I'm sure they know it's bullshit because really the only reason a civilian comes looking for N themselves does it for one reason only.
3. I chose SN because out of all the options, for me, it's the least likely to fail and the least suffering. Other stuff, my survival instinct might kick in and I'd somehow save myself. Or like, with a gun I'd mess up, blow my face off but still survive.
I already have a lot of all the supplementary stuff to help the SN be successful (benzos, anti-emetics). The SN shipment will likely come through so boom, done.

if you're latino, well versed in spanish, offer enough money, maybe it will work for you?

I'd say if you do try it, before you cross the border, disguise the bottles as something else so if they search your bag they won't immediately recognize it. my plan was: I ripped off the labels off of 100ml aesop bottles and place them in saran wrap so later I could rip off the N bottle labels and make it look like aesop bottles. I also got the aesop boxes to put the bottles in so it just looks like beauty products. I figured if border agents ever swabbed my bag, N wouldn't come up because it's in a sealed container and the chances of there being traces of it are low? not sure how true this is but better than just having straight bottles that say N.

 

[alwayssearching202]

I have a Spanish last name and aesthetic but don't speak more than a few words. Thank you again so much for taking the time to share your experience and the thorough follow-up answers. This community is amazing.

Being held in customs for all of those hours had to be extra scary. I am sorry you experienced that, but goodness, yeah I guess I'm glad your trip wasn't successful so they didn't find anything. You are clearly well prepared from every perspective. I hope your SN arrives and you find your peace.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

I have a Spanish last name and aesthetic but don't speak more than a few words. Thank you again so much for taking the time to share your experience and the thorough follow-up answers. This community is amazing.

Being held in customs for all of those hours had to be extra scary. I am sorry you experienced that, but goodness, yeah I guess I'm glad your trip wasn't successful so they didn't find anything.

Yeah ofc, at least we have each other. Thanks for your empathy.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is so horrible and cruel how people cannot just have the option to die in peace, I hate how Nembutal is a privledge only reserved for animals with us just expected to continue suffering instead

 

[BlazingBob]

well fuck me I guess. I speak some spanish but I guess bc I'm a young asian woman they think I'm too sus

Are you anywhere near the OC area? I'm exactly 99 miles from the border. I thought about going down there for N. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm likely going to go the shotgun route.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Getting N doesn't really seem worth it considering the hassle.

 

[Necron]

wuh... I recently heard about this "N" option.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, its so aggrovating that humans aren't allowed to end their lives in dignity. It feels like being a slave,that is not allowed to leave this terrible existence.
It seems, that it is very difficult to obtain that substance.

Its nice to be able to talk about such things. Its my first comment on this website.

 

[Spectre]

Well there goes my spanish roadtrip idea

 

[kettlevinbarq]

Are you anywhere near the OC area? I'm exactly 99 miles from the border. I thought about going down there for N. Thanks for sharing your story. I'm likely going to go the shotgun route.

I'm like 30 mi north of you. Wishing you the best

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

This is what I'm afraid of b/c I only booked a one way ticket... thank u for sharing your experience on the forum, that truly sucks that this method is relying on unregulated distribution

 

[kettlevinbarq]

This is what I'm afraid of b/c I only booked a one way ticket... thank u for sharing your experience on the forum, that truly sucks that this method is relying on unregulated distribution

I mean, it's still worth a try. I didn't meet the requirements apparently so no luck for me. but now you know what you need to succeed? pm me if you want the places that almost sold it to me or confirmed that they had it in stock. maybe it'll save you some time.

 

[RealitySurf]

damn, u offered 1k and they didnt accept holy shit, i live in tj, i was thinkin about offering like 400 dllrs, i guess i dont have a chance then

 

[kettlevinbarq]

damn, u offered 1k and they didnt accept holy shit, i live in tj, i was thinkin about offering like 400 dllrs, i guess i dont have a chance then

still worth a try. you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

 

[oddetoad]

$1000 really isn't that much money for possibly getting arrested and having your business shut down.

You'd be surprised what risks people are willing to take, you underestimate them greatly.

People sell their children for sex for far less

 

[WhiteRabbit]

You'd be surprised what risks people are willing to take, you underestimate them greatly.

People sell their children for sex for far less

I'm just talking about in the context of getting N from TJ, dude. It ain't that deep.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You said you were detained, are you US citizen / US passport holder? I highly assume you were followed by spy. They noticed you only stopped at vet-shops. Just an assumption.

Thx for your report about your efforts and the trip.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

You sauid you were detained, are you US citizen / US passport holder? I highly assume you were followed by spy. They noticed you only stopped at vet-shops. Just an assumption.

Thx for your report about your efforts and the trip.

Yeah I'm a US citizen. I find the spy theory amusing lol. I don't think that's what happened because I'm just not that important. Now that I think about it, I think it's because I don't look like my passport photo anymore. After I took the biometric verification photo, he kept asking me how long ago was it that I got my passport. I guess I didn't match the biometrics? I got a lot of plastic surgery a few months ago and do look really different.

 

[roguetrader]

I think you should've asked your driver, who's a local, to assist you in the purchase…..