Loonarfalls
lemaridamande
- Nov 2, 2023
- 12
I'm quite upset I'm back in this predicament again.
I've been good for almost an entire year, not thinking about suicide and even being happy about life and fearing death, constantly saying about how I would hate dying. But now? I'm back to looking forward to death again.
I regret not going further on November 14th.i would've died if my mother wasn't home. I would've maybe died quicker if I took more of my wellbutrin, but I fucked it up because now my mother is holding my medicine.
and nnow I'm sitting here before my college math class thinking about how I'll self harm when I get home.
I wwas doing well, I have a loving girlfriend, I have 2 tattoos and one on the way, I'm in uni for forensic science, I have 3 concerts I'm going to, and I have a good job as a barista. I moved to a different state for a new life with my girlfriend.
but nnow I look at my first tattoo, IL DONO DELLA VITA and I look at it feeling ironic because it means the gift of life, but I don't think of it as a gift anymore.
I wwant to CTB, but I have no means to anymore and I don't want to go back to the mental hospital if I fail. I've been three times since I was 13.
Also ssorry about the double letters, idk why it's doing that I'm on mobile and I'm too lazy to edit :3
I've been good for almost an entire year, not thinking about suicide and even being happy about life and fearing death, constantly saying about how I would hate dying. But now? I'm back to looking forward to death again.
I regret not going further on November 14th.i would've died if my mother wasn't home. I would've maybe died quicker if I took more of my wellbutrin, but I fucked it up because now my mother is holding my medicine.
and nnow I'm sitting here before my college math class thinking about how I'll self harm when I get home.
I wwas doing well, I have a loving girlfriend, I have 2 tattoos and one on the way, I'm in uni for forensic science, I have 3 concerts I'm going to, and I have a good job as a barista. I moved to a different state for a new life with my girlfriend.
but nnow I look at my first tattoo, IL DONO DELLA VITA and I look at it feeling ironic because it means the gift of life, but I don't think of it as a gift anymore.
I wwant to CTB, but I have no means to anymore and I don't want to go back to the mental hospital if I fail. I've been three times since I was 13.
Also ssorry about the double letters, idk why it's doing that I'm on mobile and I'm too lazy to edit :3
