Venting Awful at Jobs

[EternalShore]

I was able to do really well in schools, getting all A's and B's in high school and all A's and 1 A- in high school~ however, I've always been awful at jobs~ :( I like kids a lot, since I feel I can actually relate to them and liked my own childhood, contrary to adults and my own adulthood~ :/ so I became a camp counselor for a summer, and that's when I came to this place~ rofl~ Anyways, I kinda flunked out of student teaching due to my awful abilities at both managing behavior while trying to build relationships (maybe because I wasn't giving out enough candy ig and am not naturally entertaining) but like I was never told what to do by anyone~ >_< I just can't be authoritative whatsoever! :( And so that led to further struggles with subbing where I swear, I must be on some list to be deprioritized in regards to positions due to how badly I messed up in being able to actually control classrooms~ >_< I was in all the well-behaved classes when I was going through elementary and middle school, and I only realize that now due to how I can't control these kids whatsoever~ >_< Now, I don't care about being good at a job whatsoever, but when I'm clearly getting pushed out of it, that's not good at all~ >_<
So I need to get a job that I can like actually do~ I took a jobs test a while ago, but idk what to really do with it~

Applying to jobs sucks lots too~ :/ Like I spend 2 hours on an application which more often than not doesn't even receive a response~ :/
oh, I hate interviews and am really bad at them too~ :( I'm just too slow socially to handle things like having to think on my feet in regards to managing behavior or trying to lie without lying to people (which is unfortunately, how you get a job)~ >_< I always end up being too truthful probably! :( Plus, sometimes, they don't even say they reject you after an interview either~ >_< Like I don't even want to work at any of them anymore, but I still don't have responses from 4/5 places I interviewed at during the spring~ >_<

Does anyone have any ideas of what to do with this? xD

 

[concession]

I was able to do really well in schools, getting all A's and B's in high school and all A's and 1 A- in high school~ however, I've always been awful at jobs~ :( I like kids a lot, since I feel I can actually relate to them and liked my own childhood, contrary to adults and my own adulthood~ :/ so I became a camp counselor for a summer, and that's when I came to this place~ rofl~ Anyways, I kinda flunked out of student teaching due to my awful abilities at both managing behavior while trying to build relationships (maybe because I wasn't giving out enough candy ig and am not naturally entertaining) but like I was never told what to do by anyone~ >_< I just can't be authoritative whatsoever! :( And so that led to further struggles with subbing where I swear, I must be on some list to be deprioritized in regards to positions due to how badly I messed up in being able to actually control classrooms~ >_< I was in all the well-behaved classes when I was going through elementary and middle school, and I only realize that now due to how I can't control these kids whatsoever~ >_< Now, I don't care about being good at a job whatsoever, but when I'm clearly getting pushed out of it, that's not good at all~ >_<
So I need to get a job that I can like actually do~ I took a jobs test a while ago, but idk what to really do with it~

Applying to jobs sucks lots too~ :/ Like I spend 2 hours on an application which more often than not doesn't even receive a response~ :/
oh, I hate interviews and am really bad at them too~ :( I'm just too slow socially to handle things like having to think on my feet in regards to managing behavior or trying to lie without lying to people (which is unfortunately, how you get a job)~ >_< I always end up being too truthful probably! :( Plus, sometimes, they don't even say they reject you after an interview either~ >_< Like I don't even want to work at any of them anymore, but I still don't have responses from 4/5 places I interviewed at during the spring~ >_<

Does anyone have any ideas of what to do with this? xD
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Sorry to hear this. I obviously do not know your whole situation and cannot say that I had it as tough as you, but English is not my first language and before I got my first job I was struggling a lot, especially at the interviews (I have immigrated to an English speaking country from elsewhere).

The thing is: you will get better. Every time you try, you are a step closer to become more confident. As I`ve said, I can not assume that the fact that I have improved over time automatically means that you will too, but, you know, try to look back 10 years and think how many new things you`ve learned during this time. Just keep trying, google stuff about how can you improve your resume.

Try making your own CV website using github pages and chatgpt/perplexity/deepseek (it is not so hard and only thing you need to pay for is a domain name which costs around 20$ a year if I am not wrong)

 

[NicoRTG]

You'll definitely get better, you just need to find an industry you're actually happy with once you get in, just start applying in random places, it'll take a little while a few lost jobs here and there but once you find it you'll be much happier and find yourself succeeding even when you didn't expect yourself too, you got this!