Extreme avoidance (AvPD?)

[sheburnedmedown]

When i say extreme avoidance I dont just mean just relationships but it also affected my school, work and even home life. For example: In school, I'd avoid things i didn't understand because If I asked I'd get scolded but since I didn't understand the topic I couldn't do the work I was supposed so I'd avoid everything altogether. It's really stupid I'm aware it's just a small example but it has completely destroyed my life and any future prospects. I now no longer can face people because due to this my past history is so utterly embarassing and shameful that I just dont have the guts in me to face anyone. Very cowardly I'm aware. I have zero friends, no life or any achievements and missed out completely on my most formative years because I'd just avoid school altogether. I feel like there's a core part of me that's missing, it's hollow. And That I'll never be able to return it somehow because I'm too old now. I need help but it's so disgustingly shameful I don't think I can open upto anyone

 

[joelover]

No advice or anything but this was how my highschool years were. Had many opportunities and potential that was just thrown away due to my completely broken self. Even lasted throughout college which led to me procrastinating on my thesis (compulsory for graduation where I go) for an entire semester and a half. But I've been trying to get better now. It's all we can do with our past regrets really, is to own up to it and make do with the circumstances we put ourselves in. It's completely natural and human, I think there's no shame in that.

 

[sheburnedmedown]

No advice or anything but this was how my highschool years were. Had many opportunities and potential that was just thrown away due to my completely broken self. Even lasted throughout college which led to me procrastinating on my thesis (compulsory for graduation where I go) for an entire semester and a half. But I've been trying to get better now. It's all we can do with our past regrets really, is to own up to it and make do with the circumstances we put ourselves in. It's completely natural and human, I think there's no shame in that.

Yes but it's really hard to get better with this. Avoidance has became my default response to everything, even the things I used to enjoy. Wht are the steps you're taking to recover? I'd like to achieve some form of normalcy at least

 

[kosmischerunfall]

Hey, i may also suffer from AvPD although undiagnosed.

It's extremly Hard living with all the shame and guilt that have build all all These years keeping you awake at Night.

And Not being able to communicate that with anyone because well Talking about yourself is Hard or letting anyone know thats how you feel.. a complete loser

Avpd is a shit mental disorder that affects your whole life and I wouldnt wish avpd on anyone :/

 

[joelover]

Yes but it's really hard to get better with this. Avoidance has became my default response to everything, even the things I used to enjoy. Wht are the steps you're taking to recover? I'd like to achieve some form of normalcy at least

I'm sorry you're going through this. Truth be told I'm not in a good shape yet myself. It was only a couple months ago when i last attempted to ctb. What got me out of that trance was finally opening up fully to my loved ones which was met with acceptance (contrary to my expectations). Since then they let me take a break from college and spend my days helping the household in any way i can (jobs, chores, and such). I think having this daily routine has also helped me a bit. I'm aware I'm very fortunate because not everyone has this level of safety net