Autistim, Lonliness & High IQ linked to Depression

[Action]

Autism combined with high IQ increases risk of suicidal thoughts

Twice exceptional youth—children who have a diagnosis of autism and who also have exceptional cognitive ability—are at increased the risk of suicidal thoughts, according to a recent study by researchers at the University of Iowa.

medicine.uiowa.edu

 

[thousandislandstare]

I'm glad there is research being done. I was in the gifted program and I'm a bit older and at the time of my testing, I don't think there was really much awareness of what was then known as Aspergers. I have not been diagnosed with ASD, but it seems very likely that I am on the spectrum.

The IQ assessment was a double edged sword. It provided me with opportunities that not everyone is fortunate enough to have as a child, but it also often seemed to provide justification for neglect. There are a lot of very basic things I was never taught how to do and a lot of things that seem to come naturally to other people that completely baffle me, things that are pretty essential to surviving in this society.

Autism is difficult to discuss with other people because the popular conception of autism is of a child with very high support needs and an intellectual disability. People immediately jump to the topics of SSI, job coaches, and caretakers and when you try to explain, you quickly find yourself being accused of trying to cheat the system when you never requested any of those services. You find yourself in arguments about "quirky tiktok zoomers." I am a 41 year old man and barely have any idea what they're talking about. And those "quirky zoomers" are probably valid, anyway.

Bringing up IQ only escalates hostility. You end up in an argument about whether or not you're the smartest person on Earth, face accusations of entitlement, engage with assumptions that you took an invalid online quiz a week ago. You just have to keep so much to yourself and it's extremely isolating. The expectations feel too high and it feels impossible to ever meet them. You use the part of your brain that was meant for rotating shapes and spotting patterns to navigate the world, as if you're using a saucepan as a hammer or a butterknife as a screwdriver. Life has been torture and for me, the ticking time bomb has finally exploded.

I'm wondering if any of you have experienced life similarly and I'm guessing that you have.

 

[zipzamoly1]

Autism combined with high IQ increases risk of suicidal thoughts

Twice exceptional youth—children who have a diagnosis of autism and who also have exceptional cognitive ability—are at increased the risk of suicidal thoughts, according to a recent study by researchers at the University of Iowa.

medicine.uiowa.edu

I've got autism but I wouldn't consider myself high iq, just regular. Was still severely suicidal since I was 8

 

[insekurity]

checks out. only have high average iq (but tbf i only got tested last year when i was severely burnt out and probs cognitively declined from chronic sleep deprivation and generally piss poor mental health) but ive thought about wanting to "go home" while in my bed since i was fucking 6 and first attempted to ctb at 11 (by choking myself with a blanket of all things, dumbass with no internet access)

 

[ConfusedClouds]

using a saucepan as a hammer or a butterknife as a screwdriver

This really resonated with me. I have no autism, but there's a possibility of a mess of neurodivergence, dyslexia from when I was late teens (late 2000s) just to allow my exam extra time to continue at university (school had accepted more informal assessments). But I have always been reasonable with reading/writing/spotting errors so it never sat comfortably.

Anyway, the way you describe existing and surviving, maybe even thriving, but through what feels like random life hacks. Not the 'real' way. But then you just end up kinda getting praised for your proactivity and ingenuity. Then its like, ok, but how else do you do this? There's an 'official' way? So its a total mess of confusion of am I really thick and missing something obvious or am I really smart and solving things all over the place with what seems obvious to me but others don't seem to think/see.

But then that also leaves me feeling like I've already maxed out on life hacks. If I'm struggling with something, it feels like there's genuinely no way around it and I'm totally stuck. But then thats so hard to explain and people just seem to think you're already solving it with the life hacks. But its like, no, I'm maxed out with that, there's nowhere else for me to turn.

Urgh. Launching myself down a rabbit hole of venting where I don't have words nor proper examples to hand, so I'll stop myself there. But thanks for that analogy of living with make-do solutions/hacks.

 

[dirkw83]

The isolation is the worse bro. Just always being alone for years and years wears you down hard.

 

[Action]

Bringing up IQ only escalates hostility. You end up in an argument about whether or not you're the smartest person on Earth, face accusations of entitlement, engage with assumptions that you took an invalid online quiz a week ago. You just have to keep so much to yourself and it's extremely isolating. The expectations feel too high and it feels impossible to ever meet them. You use the part of your brain that was meant for rotating shapes and spotting patterns to navigate the world, as if you're using a saucepan as a hammer or a butterknife as a screwdriver. Life has been torture and for me, the ticking time bomb has finally exploded.

I'm wondering if any of you have experienced life similarly and I'm guessing that you

Yes, I like that saucepan-hammer analogy. Very accurate description of my experience. 'Too smart' can be painful and frustrating, especially when it comes along with increased sensitivity to injustice when trying to intellectualize and attempt to make sense of a chaotic world. It's kind of like a brain-prison

 

[Cauliflour]

I don't know what my IQ is (but considering it's biased towards maths and science, it's probably nothing special) but people have told me throughout my life that I'm very smart. I've never thought of it that way, I just assumed suicidal thoughts was just an autistic trait to me considering how it's integrated itself into my personality.

 

[thousandislandstare]

Regarding the saucepan and butter knife thing, I meant that I have never ever had the right tools for the job when it came to interpreting all of the unspoken rules of life.

 

[̇ ̇ ̇ ̇]

 

[CatGoMeyow]

I am high IQ, likely neurodivergent. It's a very isolated life. I've spent the past 11 years mostly just engaged in my own stuff: reading books, building things. I've read about my condition that for folks like us everything out there seems drab. The conversations are boring, the people aren't doing anything interesting, they aren't making discoveries or contributing originality. It all looks pretty pale and it's hard to latch into what people are doing because they are lacking in context, self-awareness or simply don't know much about what they are doing or why. I need to break this though, we can learn things from all different sorts of people and raw intellectual engine or giftedness is not the full dimension of life. Still, it is very hard. Prefer not to ever really share my interests with people. They say they like classical music, so you ask them, and they can't say anything about it (the composer's life, the historical era, the form, the theory, etc.) So the things you crave to talk with people actually go cold or turn to disgust signal and you just prefer to be hidden and not really know anything about others. You seem to be more intellectually pure and capable when you aren't involved with others, too. Could be the unfortunate truth for the great scientists, inventors, writers in our history... they were often isolated and not married.

 

[Action]

@catgomeow, It's true that many great scientists, inventors and writers were often suffering introverts. In fact, the concept of art usually is the artist's pain bleeding out into creative expression. The "tortured artist introvert" is a classic archetype defined by deep introspection, a compulsion for solitary work, and a tendency to channel intense and overwhelming emotions into creative output. They view the world with extreme sensitivity, feeling alienated by superficiality while maintaining an obsessive, perfectionist drive to perfect their craft. I hope to be able to create something meaningful before I go

 

[mysticall]

I'm glad there is research being done. I was in the gifted program and I'm a bit older and at the time of my testing, I don't think there was really much awareness of what was then known as Aspergers. I have not been diagnosed with ASD, but it seems very likely that I am on the spectrum.

The IQ assessment was a double edged sword. It provided me with opportunities that not everyone is fortunate enough to have as a child, but it also often seemed to provide justification for neglect. There are a lot of very basic things I was never taught how to do and a lot of things that seem to come naturally to other people that completely baffle me, things that are pretty essential to surviving in this society.

Autism is difficult to discuss with other people because the popular conception of autism is of a child with very high support needs and an intellectual disability. People immediately jump to the topics of SSI, job coaches, and caretakers and when you try to explain, you quickly find yourself being accused of trying to cheat the system when you never requested any of those services. You find yourself in arguments about "quirky tiktok zoomers." I am a 41 year old man and barely have any idea what they're talking about. And those "quirky zoomers" are probably valid, anyway.

Bringing up IQ only escalates hostility. You end up in an argument about whether or not you're the smartest person on Earth, face accusations of entitlement, engage with assumptions that you took an invalid online quiz a week ago. You just have to keep so much to yourself and it's extremely isolating. The expectations feel too high and it feels impossible to ever meet them. You use the part of your brain that was meant for rotating shapes and spotting patterns to navigate the world, as if you're using a saucepan as a hammer or a butterknife as a screwdriver. Life has been torture and for me, the ticking time bomb has finally exploded.

I'm wondering if any of you have experienced life similarly and I'm guessing that you have.

Hey, just reading this and man, do I agree. I was diagnosed two years ago and basically no one believes me because im objectively attractive, intelligent, and can tie my shoes. I got into it with my brother today because I currently live at home with my dad (I am a 34 year old trans woman) and he thinks that I'm just depressed and can take a pill and I just need to push past my autism and try harder. Navigating this world has been hell for me. Before being diagnosed I drank, smoked meth, did coke, fentanyl, anything to take the pain of this life experience away. The diagnosis brought some relief but also the terrifying reality that my 'shit' isn't treatable. I can't and you can't just take a pill. This is just what it is. So I ask myself, am I okay with that? To always feel left out, feel besmirched, perma-gaslit, and largely wrote off? No. So yeah, I think the time bomb has finally gone off for me too. But I have a dog and when I look in her sweet little eyes I can't imagine leaving her. She is paralyzed when I'm gone for a few days. Good to know there's others like me on the spectrum on here and thank god (someone, something, anything, idk anymore) this site exists where I can read and vent about this stuff freely without being thrown in a box.

 

[dragonofenvy]

Those who also have ASD should look into intellectualization. I suspect it's a common coping strategy we use and it's a tough nut to crack. If you are currently in treatment and find yourself saying "I already know this" you probably do this. It's useful to bring up.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I have a high IQ and a little ADHD. I believe being so smart and sensitive has caused me so much pain and suffering Once you see the truth of the nature of the universe and humanity there is no un-seeing it. I am a Nilihist, which has caused me such severe depression at times. I cannot even function because there is no point. It is a fact, that less intelligent people are generally happier. They don't think about the big questions.
Maybe that actually makes them smarter, because the big questions can never be answered with certainty.

 

[auti]

I grew up as a gifted kid and all my peers turned out all shades of fucked up haha one of them actually ctb right after we graduated which was quite the wakeup call for me.

 

[mysticall]

Those who also have ASD should look into intellectualization. I suspect it's a common coping strategy we use and it's a tough nut to crack. If you are currently in treatment and find yourself saying "I already know this" you probably do this. It's useful to bring up.

I've heard of this before but I'm going to do some real digging today into this. Thanks!

 

[be-a-goldfish]

I have autism too. I don't know if I am highly intelligent or not, but I'm aware of my bias to say I am so I usually just leave others to judge for me. Being "gifted" means a different thing to me than it does colloquially. What I focus on is mostly understanding systems and how they nest within each other. A good example is engineering; it's easy for me to get behind the basic principles of having a series of parts that push on each other and can be designed around each other to create complicated systems like engines. I deal with this kind of complexity very easily because yes it's a complicated system, but there are not many underlying things you need to know to follow how it works. If you are studying an engine, all you need to know really is that matter can move other matter by pushing on it. In contrast, I'm terrible with things like communication because languages are man-made systems and therefore have a lot more underlying complexities that take a long, long time for me to learn. I struggle with social cues, implications, and recognizing messages within a message, and reading my own tone too. Each new term, slogan, or random exception that breaks the rules of the language 'for this one time' even a little bit makes it that much harder for me to follow.