Discussion Autism and Reactions

[Kit1]

I have a question that I am hoping you will be able to help me with as I am not sure how I am supposed to react. My husband's cousin's wife sadly passed away yesterday morning. She was 67 years old and was unwell. My husband has two older sisters (and mum) who always spoke unkindly about her, but took advantage of her and her husband's kind hospitality and wealth. I don't usually connect with people well and the last time I saw them (the person who died and her famiky as they live abroad) was in 2000. I don't speak much with most people (including my husband's family) - only answer their calls, polite to them when they visit and they only call when they need any help which I always helped them but kept out of the family politics (don't get any kind of politics). Yesterday one of his sister's called and cried as she said that she was upset about the person who died and I listened politely and shared my condolences and ended the call. Apparently more sympathy was expected - but how can I sympathise with people who spoke harshly about someone behind their back when they were alive and not sure what kind of sympathy is expected? Should I be sending flowers or something? I cannot see what is abnormal about my behaviour, but clearly I am missing something here. Also I have to say that his eldest siater got me to take a huge loans out and never paid the loans back and ot took me years to pay the loans back on their behalf and I havent been happy with them about that - but it was my fault as I had trusted them when they told me that they will pay it back. What are your thoughts about the sympathy issue?

 

[Meteora]

I understand you. That is nt-people, they complain and betray and then again they cry for losing that same person they betrayed. You are logical and they are not but since there are more nt-people in the world your behaviour is ruled rude and hers right. It's pretty fucked up I know. I honestly don't know what I would have done. I think you reacted correctly.