• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
Gild-Holm-’Ur

Gild-Holm-’Ur

Old man
Jun 28, 2026
104
As a shy + introverted person, I feel like people that a lot of people have their own barriers that prevent them from connecting.

A child of a friend is somewhere on the spectrum (I don't know that much about it). I truly like them (even keep one of their drawings on my bedroom wall). And I truly like spending time with them, but I do feel anxious when we hang out.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream and mysticall
autistichaven

autistichaven

Member
Feb 21, 2026
18
Having autism simply makes us inferior to others. It's natural selection at its cruelest.
Okay, while I agree with most things on this thread about how hard life is as an autistic, I don't agree with this. I don't think autism is inferior, the difficulties from autism come from the differences not being accommodated by society. The neurodiverse movement talks about this, and you can read about the social model of disability. There are numerous strengths like authenticity, detail focus, being able to make connections and see patterns, etc. The problem is the neurotypical majority, just like being an ethnic minority living in a majority white culture.

That doesn't mean we will get the accommodations we need in life, the likelihood is that you won't. But that isn't for being inferior, it's because the world isn't designed for us and understanding of autism is still not very accepting in society.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream, thelostautistic, mysticall and 1 other person
Hystearical

Hystearical

Why?
Jul 23, 2022
5,029
Okay, while I agree with most things on this thread about how hard life is as an autistic, I don't agree with this. I don't think autism is inferior, the difficulties from autism come from the differences not being accommodated by society. The neurodiverse movement talks about this, and you can read about the social model of disability. There are numerous strengths like authenticity, detail focus, being able to make connections and see patterns, etc. The problem is the neurotypical majority, just like being an ethnic minority living in a majority white culture.

That doesn't mean we will get the accommodations we need in life, the likelihood is that you won't. But that isn't for being inferior, it's because the world isn't designed for us and understanding of autism is still not very accepting in society.
I don't think that is entirely true. Some of autism's difficulties are a function of being a minority condition in society but some are intrinsic to it such that it isn't really comparable to being an ethnic minority minority or anything else that causes issues bot because of inherent functionality issues but purely because of external social factors.

Autism is a disorder. Disorders are not good. Disorders aren't worth propagating if that can be helped. That is my standpoint.

Said as someone who's been wanting and trying to die my entire life mainly because of autism.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: dragonofenvy, CTB Dream and Passenger4224
autistichaven

autistichaven

Member
Feb 21, 2026
18
I don't think that is entirely true. Some of autism's difficulties are a function of being a minority condition in society but some are intrinsic to it such that it isn't really comparable to being an ethnic minority minority or anything else that causes issues bot because of inherent functionality issues but purely because of external social factors.

Autism is a disorder. Disorders are not good. Disorders aren't worth propagating if that can be helped. That is my standpoint.

Said as someone who's been wanting and trying to die my entire life mainly because of autism.
"Disorders are not good" is quite a black and white thing to say, considering we have made up the concept of what a disorder is, especially in psychiatry. Disorders are defined by what society believes is harmful and what seems to impair functioning - homosexuality was defined as a disorder in the DSM until recently as it was seen as unnatural. One could argue being gay does have some limitations, like not being able to have biological children, but it is now commonly accepted and is part of normal human variation, and I strongly identity with this take.

I believe there is some grey area with disabilities where there are some difficulties that are inherent, but when it's something like autism where there are also strengths, it's not so easy to say that. Losing a leg doesn't have much positive you could say about it, but autism does. What is a disorder is partly a societally constructed concept.

I respect you can have your own belief and it comes from a great deal of pain. For me, as someone who previously worked in psychiatry as a doctor, and has since then done a lot of unlearning of the overly pathologizing frameworks psychiatry and western society uses, this is the view I have come to. Just because you may feel depressed about your condition and see it as all bad, it does not mean you can speak for everyone with autism. There are people with autism who strongly advocate for greater acceptance and accommodation of autism rather than pathologizing. Those people would be offended at the idea they should "not be propagated", basically bred out.

I know myself that if society was not the way it was, I could have a good life with autism. But there is a lot there to unpack too, like dismantling neoliberal capitalism, the total idealisation of work and productivity as the value of human life, Western constructs of "normal" (for example, indigenous populations often treat autistic or trans people well, accept them fully, do not expect them to do the same as others) etc. Indigenous transgender people may not have gender surgeries, but they have radical acceptance of transgender identities as valid, and everyone will accept the person's gender identity as the truth. Thus they do not experience gender dysphoria like trans people in a western society do, which suggests gender dysphoria comes from stigma and lack of acceptance. Just an example of a "disorder" that with radical acceptance is not really a huge hinderance to a person's life.

Anyway, we don't live in that wonderful world, but it isn't a universal truth that things have to be how they are for autistic people now, and autism does not inherently have to be pathologised.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: CTB Dream and mysticall
M

mysticall

Member
Jul 13, 2026
33
thats the hardest part with interpersonal relationships that I dont seem to grasp. things I would never even dare thinking about, stuff I view as so vile that just the act of conjuring up an image in my brain would make me recoil, other people do with no hesitation or guilt. its like were not even the same species
Yes! Holy shit yes. This is EXACTLY how I feel
When I'm too tired to mask and I weird people out, makes me feel gross, like a freak.
Yup. I can tell that they can tell something is off and the knowledge of them knowing makes me (probably) act even weirder than I already am
"Disorders are not good" is quite a black and white thing to say, considering we have made up the concept of what a disorder is, especially in psychiatry. Disorders are defined by what society believes is harmful and what seems to impair functioning - homosexuality was defined as a disorder in the DSM until recently as it was seen as unnatural. One could argue being gay does have some limitations, like not being able to have biological children, but it is now commonly accepted and is part of normal human variation, and I strongly identity with this take.

I believe there is some grey area with disabilities where there are some difficulties that are inherent, but when it's something like autism where there are also strengths, it's not so easy to say that. Losing a leg doesn't have much positive you could say about it, but autism does. What is a disorder is partly a societally constructed concept.

I respect you can have your own belief and it comes from a great deal of pain. For me, as someone who previously worked in psychiatry as a doctor, and has since then done a lot of unlearning of the overly pathologizing frameworks psychiatry and western society uses, this is the view I have come to. Just because you may feel depressed about your condition and see it as all bad, it does not mean you can speak for everyone with autism. There are people with autism who strongly advocate for greater acceptance and accommodation of autism rather than pathologizing. Those people would be offended at the idea they should "not be propagated", basically bred out.

I know myself that if society was not the way it was, I could have a good life with autism. But there is a lot there to unpack too, like dismantling neoliberal capitalism, the total idealisation of work and productivity as the value of human life, Western constructs of "normal" (for example, indigenous populations often treat autistic or trans people well, accept them fully, do not expect them to do the same as others) etc. Indigenous transgender people may not have gender surgeries, but they have radical acceptance of transgender identities as valid, and everyone will accept the person's gender identity as the truth. Thus they do not experience gender dysphoria like trans people in a western society do, which suggests gender dysphoria comes from stigma and lack of acceptance. Just an example of a "disorder" that with radical acceptance is not really a huge hinderance to a person's life.

Anyway, we don't live in that wonderful world, but it isn't a universal truth that things have to be how they are for autistic people now, and autism does not inherently have to be pathologised.
This is such a wonderful summation. I love when others can fill in the blanks with things I've thought but haven't quite come up with the right way of putting it.
Okay, while I agree with most things on this thread about how hard life is as an autistic, I don't agree with this. I don't think autism is inferior, the difficulties from autism come from the differences not being accommodated by society. The neurodiverse movement talks about this, and you can read about the social model of disability. There are numerous strengths like authenticity, detail focus, being able to make connections and see patterns, etc. The problem is the neurotypical majority, just like being an ethnic minority living in a majority white culture.

That doesn't mean we will get the accommodations we need in life, the likelihood is that you won't. But that isn't for being inferior, it's because the world isn't designed for us and understanding of autism is still not very accepting in society.
Yeah I also don't think being autistic makes me inherently inferior in the slightest. I have some strengths, and man, are they strengths. The world simply isn't designed for us. Capitalism doesn't work for us. Hold on. For me. I don't want to over-generalize. For me, this ability to see patterns, to make connections, to truly pierce the veil so to say is largely the reason for the existential depression, which from what I understand isn't chemically fixed. Taking some SSRI or any drug for that matter won't make me not see the bullshit lol.
I don't think that is entirely true. Some of autism's difficulties are a function of being a minority condition in society but some are intrinsic to it such that it isn't really comparable to being an ethnic minority minority or anything else that causes issues bot because of inherent functionality issues but purely because of external social factors.

Autism is a disorder. Disorders are not good. Disorders aren't worth propagating if that can be helped. That is my standpoint.

Said as someone who's been wanting and trying to die my entire life mainly because of autism.
This is kind of borderline eugenics here lol.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream and autistichaven
Passenger4224

Passenger4224

I appreciate everything that can kill me.
Mar 8, 2026
497
That doesn't mean we will get the accommodations we need in life, the likelihood is that you won't. But that isn't for being inferior, it's because the world isn't designed for us and understanding of autism is still not very accepting in society.
The world & society do not owe us anything. The weak are left to suffer and rot, same goes with all other species. That's life.

I'm not going to debate about the topic, because everyone has the right to think positively of their disabilities. I simply cannot spend my life lying to myself like that.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream
T

thelostautistic

Warlock
Jul 31, 2025
712
I feel the same way. I don't think I've ever been anyone's best friend. I'd do so much for others but I often get forgotten by people.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: CTB Dream
autistichaven

autistichaven

Member
Feb 21, 2026
18
The world & society do not owe us anything. The weak are left to suffer and rot, same goes with all other species. That's life.

I'm not going to debate about the topic, because everyone has the right to think positively of their disabilities. I simply cannot spend my life lying to myself like that.
I don't think it's lying to yourself to believe that the world SHOULD be like that. No one is saying it will be like that. Again, I think a lot comes back to western paradigms and modern day living influencing our thinking. I would say it's actually quite natural for the weak to be taken care of in social animals who live in groups, of which humans are one of the most socially driven group. And again, indigenous societies look after their old, disabled and sick. The much more cruel world we live in now is the unnatural one, we've grown it unnaturally large for what our brains are evolved for. People do tend to care about their own "tribe", so this is probably part of why the modern world can be uncaring - it's much easier for people to not care about social issues and people who they see as "not one of their tribe". And modern capitalistic ideas of what is valued in a human, like productivity. Not everyone agrees with these values however.

I'm a very pessimistic person about my life compared to others to the point I will not discuss my inner demons with them, but I think the pessimism about this goes beyond just pessimistic to actually factually untrue. You don't need to justify your own pain by generalising the entire world to it. Of course it's natural if you've only had negative experiences, but it's still possible to see the bigger picture outside of yourself.

I am prepared to die as a last resort if all of the many discriminated groups I belong to end up meaning I cannot work or have income in a way that does not torture me, like work has been for me so far. But I would love to have the chance to find out how it is to live if we did not have to work. Alas most of us do financially. I'm also prepared to die because I want to keep that choice for myself. If I get in a horrific accident, if I end up needing rest home/ 24/7 care I want to have a way out of that, because I cannot trust anyone else to accommodate my special needs apart from me. It is not incompatible to think "I do intrinsically have value as a person" and "I would choose to die if my life was unbearable enough, even though it is a failure of society that it should have to come to that"

To any autistics, I'd discourage making decisions about ctb if you think so negatively that it's completely coloring your worldview towards not seeing any complexity. For me the decision requires balancing all those factors at a given time. But you need to be able to see them accurately. The world has been overly simplified by some people, and politically it is becoming like that too. The danger of this kind of cruel "the world is just shit" mindset is yes it is a justification for being cruel to yourself, but it's also easily a justification for being cruel to others in whatever time you live before you ctb.

I am passionate about this as I've spent a long time analysing these factors, I'm the type who will research any decision I make to the most extreme degree, even like buying a microwave, so yes this includes analysing society, suicide and life. Anyway, you can choose to take it or leave it. But I'll leave it here anyway.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream, Gild-Holm-’Ur and Sakura.
V

valar_morghulis21

All men must die.
Jul 17, 2026
130
I'm autistic and I keep finding that how I feel about people is not how they feel about me. I am no one's best friend. I'll check in with people and try to make plans, even fly to go visit people, and a couple days later realize that literally no one has ever fucking done that for me? I just feel like a fucking fool. I am not taken seriously. Oh, I am transgender, so I suspect that also has something to do with it. But my life has gotten unimaginably small since being diagnosed and coming out. I'm really trying to keep holding on to the idea that things will get better but I really am also starting to think and fully accept that they are not going to and perhaps it really is time to ctb. It would be a long time coming. I wrote my first note when I was 8 and the misery just compounds year after year. Anyone else autistic and feel this way?
It's the profound loneliness inside people like you and me. I also have cptsd from accumulated traumas growing up. But to look at it objectively, the way people treat you is a reflection of their state of mind. You could be the most amazing person in the world, but the ones you try to befriend just don't have capacity for more friendships (they can be the type that still hangout with their kindergarten friends, or have never leave their hometown etc). So don't beat yourself up too much about it. Don't let yourself be humiliated by unworthy people. I would rather be alone than try to fit in with clique mean girls.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CTB Dream and autistichaven
I

itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
2,085
Autism is a disorder. Disorders are not good. Disorders aren't worth propagating if that can be helped. That is my standpoint.

Said as someone who's been wanting and trying to die my entire life mainly because of autism.
I agree. I shouldn't exist. My parents shouldn't have been allowed. Eugenics could be used for the good; my experience has been torture. It's true for so many here. I'd rather never be than what I'm going through now.
Life sucks. Those that are normal can't see what we endure, and give us a peaceful option.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Chabrychek
Hystearical

Hystearical

Why?
Jul 23, 2022
5,029
"Disorders are not good" is quite a black and white thing to say, considering we have made up the concept of what a disorder is, especially in psychiatry. Disorders are defined by what society believes is harmful and what seems to impair functioning - homosexuality was defined as a disorder in the DSM until recently as it was seen as unnatural. One could argue being gay does have some limitations, like not being able to have biological children, but it is now commonly accepted and is part of normal human variation, and I strongly identity with this take.
Black and white?

Genuine disorders cause *impairment* and *distress* to us people who *suffer* from them. They are not desirable at all. No one would want one if they had a choice* and no prospective parents would want them for their children, not if they want to maximize their offspring's chances for happiness.

In light of that how could saying "disorders are not good" be inaccurate? What about that simple statement could there be to object to?

I'm all for being critical of mainstream psychiatry but things like schizophrenia are disabling in and of itself and not only because of how society views them. The impairment is tangible and concrete. If you were a psychiatrist you must have witnessed that.

Homosexuality seems like an irrelevant strawman of sorts and I say that as a gay person. Its classification as a disorder was clearly a mistake and has since been rectified. They're not going to make the same change when it comes to autism or bipolar or schizophrenia or anorexia and so on and they shouldn't. Homosexuality is not comparable to them in whatever challenges it causes. Normal human variation in the sense in which that phrase is meant does not cause impairment. To describe something that does as such is in my opinion meaningless.

I believe there is some grey area with disabilities where there are some difficulties that are inherent, but when it's something like autism where there are also strengths, it's not so easy to say that. Losing a leg doesn't have much positive you could say about it, but autism does. What is a disorder is partly a societally constructed concept.
*And here I'll gladly qualify my earlier statement. I will grant that autism can confer some advantages or strengths (in *some* cases, it must be added). In fact among all the physical or mental disorders out there autism seems to be uniquely ambiguous in that respect and thus the only one among them that this kind could of debate could even revolve around. Everything else is unequivocally detrimental. So it just so happens that the topic of this discussion, autism, happens to be the one thing, as far as I can tell, where things are bot so clear-cut.

But as I pointed out, autism doesn't confer strengths universally across the board in all cases, or ones that feel worthwhile enough. And I'm not convinced that those strengths are exclusive to autistic people anyways even if autism may be conducive to their development (again, in some cases). There are people who are "different" who have positive qualities associated with autism but none of the impairment, at least none that rises to a clinical threshold. And there are allistic people who have these strengths that in their cases are not a function at all of being neurodivergent.

What is a disorder is partly a societally constructed concept.
Hmm? Partly? Earlier you had said that the difficulties of autism stem only from extrrnal social factors which I objected to. Which you then objected to. So are you in agreement or disagreement with me?

Executive functioning issues, sensory issues, susceptibility to emotional overload and strrss, the propensity towards millions of concomitant comorbidities like epilepsy which I developed, these are not conditioned by society (though they can be able exacerbated by it but their genesis isn't in it). Even some of the social issues are not solely a function of society. Autistic people are innately poor at succeeding at social drives even if they share the same as on any average person. I have been in settings where the (normal) people around werr welcoming and friendly, or at least not overtly hostile or shunning, and I did not succeed socially because of innate problems.
because you may feel depressed about your condition and see it as all bad, it does not mean you can speak for everyone with autism. There are people with autism who strongly advocate for greater acceptance and accommodation of autism rather than pathologizing.

Don't you think your insistence that autism isn't innately a disability at all also constitutes speaking for other autistic people? It doesn't seem like you'll budge on that but that view isn't reflective of my life experience at all. Furthermore that kind of view hampers research efforts that could go a long way to improving human life much more significantly than anything else. Opposing those efforts because of personal distaste amounts to speaking for less abled people like me.

I am not telling existing people with autism how to feel about their autism. Autistic people should be accepted but that doesn't mean the existence of autism has to be. Accepting and accommodating autistic people doesn't have to amount the reality that autism is a disorder that innately makes life harder for those who suffer from it.
Those people would be offended at the idea they should "not be propagated", basically bred out.
Cool. And what I find offensive is that idea that people like me just have to be collateral damage, especially in in a world that treats attempts to escape perpetual misery the way it does (and since you were a psychiatrist I doubt that needs any further elaboration). This is an dies that I have seen both implied and explicitly expressed.

Look at where you are and where we are. We are on a suicide forum. Given your username I would assume that autism was a big factor driving you to this site instead of living like the average shrink who would readily rail against this site and all the dangers it purportedly poses to its users. And if it isn't clear autistic people are very disproportionately represented here. In fact I do believe this site features the most disproportionate representation of autistic people pound for pound than any other collection of disparate people. More than Silicon Valley or Comicon, more than pediatric psych units or group homes. Though since that is just an impression ultimately I could be wrong.

There was an autistic young man who was a user here. He had all the strengths of an autistic person that you allude to, brilliance and magnanimity multiple times the human average, and you want to know how his life ended? Alone last spring in a dingy hotel by his own hand after having ingested a vile poison. Autism was the main factor driving that decision and I'm not projecting here, that's straight from own writings he left behind.


It's not about the "them" not being propagating or anyone who is already in existence. It's about relying on pure moral luck that a future autistic person will be a success story.

I know myself that if society was not the way it was, I could have a good life with autism.
Perhaps that is true. If you managed to become a physician than frankly your manifestation of autism is of a completely different sort than mine. And it's also frankly it's not surprising to me that a high-achieving autistic person who have the view you do since such is the attitude that I've seen from similar people.

About being trans, same thing about homosexuality. I don't think what it is particularly relevant to autism for the same reason.

Anyway, we don't live in that wonderful world, but it isn't a universal truth that things have to be how they are for autistic people now, and autism does not inherently have to be pathologised.
If people insist they are not in fact disabled by their autism and do not identify as being disabled, then whatever they have should be conceived as something else other than autism spectrum disorder.

This is kind of borderline eugenics here lol.
I don't think it's evil to give people coming into the world greater access to a happy and meaningful life and promote their life-long well-being if that is an option.

It's not evil to make it so people don't have to hack their way to their death from cystic fibrosis, have their bodies shrivel up from muscular dystrophy or die before entering preschool from Tay-Sachs. And on and on for the tons of other devastating congenital disorders.

The word "eugenics" has nasty connotations because of history but the problem with that lies in coercion and violation of autonomy. But I wasn't talking about coercion. While I think that it would be deeply unfair to the child to force them in life with something like autism if if that didn't have to be the case, the line can be drawn at individual/parental agency. As to my stance that it shouldn't be passed down if it didn't have to be, well, people form opinions all damn day every day about what other people should or shouldn't do or how things should or shouldn't be.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dragonofenvy and mysticall
M

mysticall

Member
Jul 13, 2026
33
Black and white?

Genuine disorders cause *impairment* and *distress* to us people who *suffer* from them. They are not desirable at all. No one would want one if they had a choice* and no prospective parents would want them for their children, not if they want to maximize their offspring's chances for happiness.

In light of that how could saying "disorders are not good" be inaccurate? What about that simple statement could there be to object to?

I'm all for being critical of mainstream psychiatry but things like schizophrenia are disabling in and of itself and not only because of how society views them. The impairment is tangible and concrete. If you were a psychiatrist you must have witnessed that.

Homosexuality seems like an irrelevant strawman of sorts and I say that as a gay person. Its classification as a disorder was clearly a mistake and has since been rectified. They're not going to make the same change when it comes to autism or bipolar or schizophrenia or anorexia and so on and they shouldn't. Homosexuality is not comparable to them in whatever challenges it causes. Normal human variation in the sense in which that phrase is meant does not cause impairment. To describe something that does as such is in my opinion meaningless.


*And here I'll gladly qualify my earlier statement. I will grant that autism can confer some advantages or strengths (in *some* cases, it must be added). In fact among all the physical or mental disorders out there autism seems to be uniquely ambiguous in that respect and thus the only one among them that this kind could of debate could even revolve around. Everything else is unequivocally detrimental. So it just so happens that the topic of this discussion, autism, happens to be the one thing, as far as I can tell, where things are bot so clear-cut.

But as I pointed out, autism doesn't confer strengths universally across the board in all cases, or ones that feel worthwhile enough. And I'm not convinced that those strengths are exclusive to autistic people anyways even if autism may be conducive to their development (again, in some cases). There are people who are "different" who have positive qualities associated with autism but none of the impairment, at least none that rises to a clinical threshold. And there are allistic people who have these strengths that in their cases are not a function at all of being neurodivergent.


Hmm? Partly? Earlier you had said that the difficulties of autism stem only from extrrnal social factors which I objected to. Which you then objected to. So are you in agreement or disagreement with me?

Executive functioning issues, sensory issues, susceptibility to emotional overload and strrss, the propensity towards millions of concomitant comorbidities like epilepsy which I developed, these are not conditioned by society (though they can be able exacerbated by it but their genesis isn't in it). Even some of the social issues are not solely a function of society. Autistic people are innately poor at succeeding at social drives even if they share the same as on any average person. I have been in settings where the (normal) people around werr welcoming and friendly, or at least not overtly hostile or shunning, and I did not succeed socially because of innate problems.


Don't you think your insistence that autism isn't innately a disability at all also constitutes speaking for other autistic people? It doesn't seem like you'll budge on that but that view isn't reflective of my life experience at all. Furthermore that kind of view hampers research efforts that could go a long way to improving human life much more significantly than anything else. Opposing those efforts because of personal distaste amounts to speaking for less abled people like me.

I am not telling existing people with autism how to feel about their autism. Autistic people should be accepted but that doesn't mean the existence of autism has to be. Accepting and accommodating autistic people doesn't have to amount the reality that autism is a disorder that innately makes life harder for those who suffer from it.

Cool. And what I find offensive is that idea that people like me just have to be collateral damage, especially in in a world that treats attempts to escape perpetual misery the way it does (and since you were a psychiatrist I doubt that needs any further elaboration). This is an dies that I have seen both implied and explicitly expressed.

Look at where you are and where we are. We are on a suicide forum. Given your username I would assume that autism was a big factor driving you to this site instead of living like the average shrink who would readily rail against this site and all the dangers it purportedly poses to its users. And if it isn't clear autistic people are very disproportionately represented here. In fact I do believe this site features the most disproportionate representation of autistic people pound for pound than any other collection of disparate people. More than Silicon Valley or Comicon, more than pediatric psych units or group homes. Though since that is just an impression ultimately I could be wrong.

There was an autistic young man who was a user here. He had all the strengths of an autistic person that you allude to, brilliance and magnanimity multiple times the human average, and you want to know how his life ended? Alone last spring in a dingy hotel by his own hand after having ingested a vile poison. Autism was the main factor driving that decision and I'm not projecting here, that's straight from own writings he left behind.


It's not about the "them" not being propagating or anyone who is already in existence. It's about relying on pure moral luck that a future autistic person will be a success story.


Perhaps that is true. If you managed to become a physician than frankly your manifestation of autism is of a completely different sort than mine. And it's also frankly it's not surprising to me that a high-achieving autistic person who have the view you do since such is the attitude that I've seen from similar people.

About being trans, same thing about homosexuality. I don't think what it is particularly relevant to autism for the same reason.


If people insist they are not in fact disabled by their autism and do not identify as being disabled, then whatever they have should be conceived as something else other than autism spectrum disorder.


I don't think it's evil to give people coming into the world greater access to a happy and meaningful life and promote their life-long well-being if that is an option.

It's not evil to make it so people don't have to hack their way to their death from cystic fibrosis, have their bodies shrivel up from muscular dystrophy or die before entering preschool from Tay-Sachs. And on and on for the tons of other devastating congenital disorders.

The word "eugenics" has nasty connotations because of history but the problem with that lies in coercion and violation of autonomy. But I wasn't talking about coercion. While I think that it would be deeply unfair to the child to force them in life with something like autism if if that didn't have to be the case, the line can be drawn at individual/parental agency. As to my stance that it shouldn't be passed down if it didn't have to be, well, people form opinions all damn day every day about what other people should or shouldn't do or how things should or shouldn't be.
It does have nasty connotations. I do agree that if parents had a choice to splice out a gene they know could cause autism or any other potentially severe impairments then they should be able to make that choice. What happens, though, is that that option isn't going to or wouldn't be given to every parent. It would still be privileged. So, from that angle, I do think it's just plain not good. You choose to have a child knowing the genetic lottery could spite you. That's that. If you don't like the odds, don't have kids.
 
autistichaven

autistichaven

Member
Feb 21, 2026
18
Black and white?

Genuine disorders cause *impairment* and *distress* to us people who *suffer* from them. They are not desirable at all. No one would want one if they had a choice* and no prospective parents would want them for their children, not if they want to maximize their offspring's chances for happiness.

In light of that how could saying "disorders are not good" be inaccurate? What about that simple statement could there be to object to?

I'm all for being critical of mainstream psychiatry but things like schizophrenia are disabling in and of itself and not only because of how society views them. The impairment is tangible and concrete. If you were a psychiatrist you must have witnessed that.

Homosexuality seems like an irrelevant strawman of sorts and I say that as a gay person. Its classification as a disorder was clearly a mistake and has since been rectified. They're not going to make the same change when it comes to autism or bipolar or schizophrenia or anorexia and so on and they shouldn't. Homosexuality is not comparable to them in whatever challenges it causes. Normal human variation in the sense in which that phrase is meant does not cause impairment. To describe something that does as such is in my opinion meaningless.


*And here I'll gladly qualify my earlier statement. I will grant that autism can confer some advantages or strengths (in *some* cases, it must be added). In fact among all the physical or mental disorders out there autism seems to be uniquely ambiguous in that respect and thus the only one among them that this kind could of debate could even revolve around. Everything else is unequivocally detrimental. So it just so happens that the topic of this discussion, autism, happens to be the one thing, as far as I can tell, where things are bot so clear-cut.

But as I pointed out, autism doesn't confer strengths universally across the board in all cases, or ones that feel worthwhile enough. And I'm not convinced that those strengths are exclusive to autistic people anyways even if autism may be conducive to their development (again, in some cases). There are people who are "different" who have positive qualities associated with autism but none of the impairment, at least none that rises to a clinical threshold. And there are allistic people who have these strengths that in their cases are not a function at all of being neurodivergent.


Hmm? Partly? Earlier you had said that the difficulties of autism stem only from extrrnal social factors which I objected to. Which you then objected to. So are you in agreement or disagreement with me?

Executive functioning issues, sensory issues, susceptibility to emotional overload and strrss, the propensity towards millions of concomitant comorbidities like epilepsy which I developed, these are not conditioned by society (though they can be able exacerbated by it but their genesis isn't in it). Even some of the social issues are not solely a function of society. Autistic people are innately poor at succeeding at social drives even if they share the same as on any average person. I have been in settings where the (normal) people around werr welcoming and friendly, or at least not overtly hostile or shunning, and I did not succeed socially because of innate problems.


Don't you think your insistence that autism isn't innately a disability at all also constitutes speaking for other autistic people? It doesn't seem like you'll budge on that but that view isn't reflective of my life experience at all. Furthermore that kind of view hampers research efforts that could go a long way to improving human life much more significantly than anything else. Opposing those efforts because of personal distaste amounts to speaking for less abled people like me.

I am not telling existing people with autism how to feel about their autism. Autistic people should be accepted but that doesn't mean the existence of autism has to be. Accepting and accommodating autistic people doesn't have to amount the reality that autism is a disorder that innately makes life harder for those who suffer from it.

Cool. And what I find offensive is that idea that people like me just have to be collateral damage, especially in in a world that treats attempts to escape perpetual misery the way it does (and since you were a psychiatrist I doubt that needs any further elaboration). This is an dies that I have seen both implied and explicitly expressed.

Look at where you are and where we are. We are on a suicide forum. Given your username I would assume that autism was a big factor driving you to this site instead of living like the average shrink who would readily rail against this site and all the dangers it purportedly poses to its users. And if it isn't clear autistic people are very disproportionately represented here. In fact I do believe this site features the most disproportionate representation of autistic people pound for pound than any other collection of disparate people. More than Silicon Valley or Comicon, more than pediatric psych units or group homes. Though since that is just an impression ultimately I could be wrong.

There was an autistic young man who was a user here. He had all the strengths of an autistic person that you allude to, brilliance and magnanimity multiple times the human average, and you want to know how his life ended? Alone last spring in a dingy hotel by his own hand after having ingested a vile poison. Autism was the main factor driving that decision and I'm not projecting here, that's straight from own writings he left behind.


It's not about the "them" not being propagating or anyone who is already in existence. It's about relying on pure moral luck that a future autistic person will be a success story.


Perhaps that is true. If you managed to become a physician than frankly your manifestation of autism is of a completely different sort than mine. And it's also frankly it's not surprising to me that a high-achieving autistic person who have the view you do since such is the attitude that I've seen from similar people.

About being trans, same thing about homosexuality. I don't think what it is particularly relevant to autism for the same reason.


If people insist they are not in fact disabled by their autism and do not identify as being disabled, then whatever they have should be conceived as something else other than autism spectrum disorder.


I don't think it's evil to give people coming into the world greater access to a happy and meaningful life and promote their life-long well-being if that is an option.

It's not evil to make it so people don't have to hack their way to their death from cystic fibrosis, have their bodies shrivel up from muscular dystrophy or die before entering preschool from Tay-Sachs. And on and on for the tons of other devastating congenital disorders.

The word "eugenics" has nasty connotations because of history but the problem with that lies in coercion and violation of autonomy. But I wasn't talking about coercion. While I think that it would be deeply unfair to the child to force them in life with something like autism if if that didn't have to be the case, the line can be drawn at individual/parental agency. As to my stance that it shouldn't be passed down if it didn't have to be, well, people form opinions all damn day every day about what other people should or shouldn't do or how things should or shouldn't be.
I think we both disagree and agree at a fundamental level on different things, but it does seem that you are very much misunderstanding what I am saying. I think there is little point to continue this discussion too much further than this. You seem to have a great degree of passion and distain over this topic, I don't blame you, but I don't believe I can shift that. I have to admit I find it strange you have made so many posts here and feel so strongly about the topic, but haven't CTB'd yourself. But that's neither here nor there. I have simply left my perspective here to share with others and will expand a little below.

To provide a summary response of my general stance: Yes, I was previously a doctor and acknowledge that I was abled in being able to push through the immense struggle that caused me, though I am now disabled through multiple issues including autism, and I did see plenty of autistic patients of varying severities. Yes, I have my negative opinions about psychiatry and the way mental health is viewed, a lot of that does come down to the gross way in which patients are treated, and the lack of holistic care, lots would be fixed through societal change not more mental health care. Anyway. My kind of perspective isn't limited to people like me, you will find this perspective across the autistic community and within lived experience autistic research. I am not denying the pain autistic people go through by saying it is not just that society makes it so painful, it's the very opposite. Nor do I believe that people like you should be collateral damage as you say, again, it is the very opposite. But that is a separate discussion about the right to choose to die. If it came across I believe autism is entirely socially constructed, then that is not correctly communicated, I don't subscribe to that degree of simplicity. I believe that a much greater portion of autistics could live a good life with proper accommodations. Of course, there are extreme cases like you say, comparable to schizophrenia, where for example the sensory issues would be so great they would be pathological even in a natural environment. But many autistic people for example enjoy being in nature and don't find it overstimulating, and may have been fine in the past, but now much of the excess noise and harsh artificial lights of the modern day cause a lot of excess harm. Part of my argument - the metaphor with trans people seems to have not been received - was in the ways it's difficult to know how life might be without the way we have been taught and raised. Like the way that trans people in indigenous cultures don't experience gender dysphoria the same way we do, yet this is considered an inherent part of the trans experience and gender dysphoria is classified a "disorder" of sorts and is disabling to people still. Perhaps autistic people's social related difficulties would be modulated in a different society, for example, and wouldn't experience so much negativity with socialising. There will always be some difficulties, and that depends on where on the spectrum you fall.

The social model of disability is one way to think about it, like changing conditions changes ability, if stairs were made half a metre tall, most of the population would automatically become physically "disabled", and the more you increase it, the more disabled people would get. Of course some would be disabled even if the step was tiny or nonexistent. But A LOT would be accounted for socially, that is the social model. Perhaps you are speaking to the people disabled even if the step is tiny, though in some cases even then perhaps they could have extra accommodation like a wheelchair and lift etc. But there are some problems that can't be solved. But yes, like you say, autism is one of the few conditions in which there are clear positives, so it can never be so clear cut what the result would be. I recall reading about how in wanting to select out autism genes, some researchers were surprised to see they were also selecting out genes relating to intelligence. The kind of pattern recognition, detail focus, style of thinking about issues I have seen in autistics is unique and I have not seen neurotypicals with those same strengths, not in the same way at all. It is a very particular form of thinking. Monotropism is one theory about this.

Anyway, I have said more than I intended, which always seems to be the case for me, but that's my final cents on the topic, I think that is all I have to say about it. I will keep your perspective in mind in future.
 
  • Like
Reactions: mysticall
M

mysticall

Member
Jul 13, 2026
33
I think we both disagree and agree at a fundamental level on different things, but it does seem that you are very much misunderstanding what I am saying. I think there is little point to continue this discussion too much further than this. You seem to have a great degree of passion and distain over this topic, I don't blame you, but I don't believe I can shift that. I have to admit I find it strange you have made so many posts here and feel so strongly about the topic, but haven't CTB'd yourself. But that's neither here nor there. I have simply left my perspective here to share with others and will expand a little below.

To provide a summary response of my general stance: Yes, I was previously a doctor and acknowledge that I was abled in being able to push through the immense struggle that caused me, though I am now disabled through multiple issues including autism, and I did see plenty of autistic patients of varying severities. Yes, I have my negative opinions about psychiatry and the way mental health is viewed, a lot of that does come down to the gross way in which patients are treated, and the lack of holistic care, lots would be fixed through societal change not more mental health care. Anyway. My kind of perspective isn't limited to people like me, you will find this perspective across the autistic community and within lived experience autistic research. I am not denying the pain autistic people go through by saying it is not just that society makes it so painful, it's the very opposite. Nor do I believe that people like you should be collateral damage as you say, again, it is the very opposite. But that is a separate discussion about the right to choose to die. If it came across I believe autism is entirely socially constructed, then that is not correctly communicated, I don't subscribe to that degree of simplicity. I believe that a much greater portion of autistics could live a good life with proper accommodations. Of course, there are extreme cases like you say, comparable to schizophrenia, where for example the sensory issues would be so great they would be pathological even in a natural environment. But many autistic people for example enjoy being in nature and don't find it overstimulating, and may have been fine in the past, but now much of the excess noise and harsh artificial lights of the modern day cause a lot of excess harm. Part of my argument - the metaphor with trans people seems to have not been received - was in the ways it's difficult to know how life might be without the way we have been taught and raised. Like the way that trans people in indigenous cultures don't experience gender dysphoria the same way we do, yet this is considered an inherent part of the trans experience and gender dysphoria is classified a "disorder" of sorts and is disabling to people still. Perhaps autistic people's social related difficulties would be modulated in a different society, for example, and wouldn't experience so much negativity with socialising. There will always be some difficulties, and that depends on where on the spectrum you fall.

The social model of disability is one way to think about it, like changing conditions changes ability, if stairs were made half a metre tall, most of the population would automatically become physically "disabled", and the more you increase it, the more disabled people would get. Of course some would be disabled even if the step was tiny or nonexistent. But A LOT would be accounted for socially, that is the social model. Perhaps you are speaking to the people disabled even if the step is tiny, though in some cases even then perhaps they could have extra accommodation like a wheelchair and lift etc. But there are some problems that can't be solved. But yes, like you say, autism is one of the few conditions in which there are clear positives, so it can never be so clear cut what the result would be. I recall reading about how in wanting to select out autism genes, some researchers were surprised to see they were also selecting out genes relating to intelligence. The kind of pattern recognition, detail focus, style of thinking about issues I have seen in autistics is unique and I have not seen neurotypicals with those same strengths, not in the same way at all. It is a very particular form of thinking. Monotropism is one theory about this.

Anyway, I have said more than I intended, which always seems to be the case for me, but that's my final cents on the topic, I think that is all I have to say about it. I will keep your perspective in mind in future.
Thank you @autistichaven for the clarification. I agree with you on this.
 
  • Like
Reactions: autistichaven
Hystearical

Hystearical

Why?
Jul 23, 2022
5,029
you are very much misunderstanding what I am saying
You made an absolute assertion that the problems with autism are a function of society's attitude to autism. That is what you're said: "the difficulties (not saying "some difficulties" but "the difficulties" categorically implying all) come from not being accommodated" and "the (not " a") problem is the neurotypical majority".

That is what you said.

And yes that standpoint was not a novel one to me as I've seen it expressed lots of time and I just think (if not know) that's it's just not accurate and I just don't see how it could be entertained at all if level 2s and 3s are considered. Not when stated in absolute terms.

And as a counterpoint I also offered empirical evidence from my own life.

I didn't share this but I am the identical twin of someone allistic. So I know even more keenly than the average autist what autism can cost you.

Though in your subsequent posts you said stuff that contradicted what you earlier said that I objected to:

I am not denying the pain autistic people go through by saying it is not just that society makes it so painful, it's the very opposite. Nor do I believe that people like you should be collateral damage as you say, again, it is the very opposite. But that is a separate discussion about the right to choose to die. If it came across I believe autism is entirely socially constructed, then that is not correctly communicated, I don't subscribe to that degree of simplicity

So it's not hard to know what your actual stance is. Probably this is what you truly believe but I responded to what you had written *as* you had in fact written it.

You seem to have a great degree of passion and distain over this topic, I don't blame you, but I don't believe I can shift that.
Why yes I am passionate about the root of my life's suffering and that of so many other wonderful people I've encountered. Not so much disdain but fatigue and a desire for autism didn't have to mean anything for me as is the case for the average person, for my brother.

My kind of perspective isn't limited to people like me, you will find this perspective across the autistic community and within lived experience autistic research.
And my kind of perspective is shared by plenty of autistic people too though I still maintain that autistic people who have led your kind of life (successful educated professionals) are more likely to think the way you do. And not saying that you are engaging in this specifically but a lot of those people can lose sight of what it's like for less abled people.

Nor do I believe that people like you should be collateral damage as you say, again, it is the very opposite.
If autism could be prevented (let's posit) such that no one new had to endure it but those efforts were opposed on the basis that "over half of human genius would be lost" and "the world needs us", notwithstanding the fact that those things will be only true in SOME, never ALL, then that is stance is implying that it is okay that people like me, to whom those things don't apply and our suffering just has to be collateral damage (for the advancement of humanity!). I have literally seen it expressed that that is a valid standpoint to take on utilitarian grounds. It so it would be better if there were at least a smoother pathway to assisted dying but there isn't.

In any case, as the anecdote of the user I shared here shows, it's not like those autistic people who are truly blessed up with that kind of brilliance are going to necessarily be well protected against the intense dysphoria this condition entails even to the point of choosing death.

autistic people's social related difficulties would be modulated in a different society, for example, and wouldn't experience so much negativity with socialising. There will always be some difficulties, and that depends on where on the spectrum you fall.
Social difficulties will definitely always be present. But even if all the difficulties could be eliminated surely you can grant the futility of focusing on some unrealistic utopia that goes against core human nature. Humans would have to be materially different.

The mention of trans also just personally bounced off me because it brought to mind a trans acquaintance I used to have. One day he said his friend was in crisis. I asked if everything was alright. He said the crisis was that his (also trans IIRC) friend thought they were autistic. Res ipsa loquitur.

The kind of pattern recognition, detail focus, style of thinking about issues I have seen in autistics is unique and I have not seen neurotypicals with those same strengths, not in the same way at all. It is a very particular form of thinking. Monotropism is one theory about this.

Monotropism also comes with a huge list of downsides as my own life can attest to.

And what's more important and conducive to happiness, making unique logical connections or making meaningful social connections?

Allistic people can cure disease and get people off the Earth and so on and on. The smartest person I've personally known, a mechanical and software engineer par excellence, is also a neurotypical from N to L. Neurotypicals like him are perfectly capable of being world-changers.

So this brings me back to the point about collateral damage. Not all autistic people are going to have those strengths and if they do they're not always going to align with a lucrative career or paradigm-shifting endeavors or whatever.


I have to admit I find it strange you have made so many posts here and feel so strongly about the topic, but haven't CTB'd yourself.
But I have to give particular attention to this statement.

This is a not okay thing to say to someone on here. Completely unacceptable in fact.

It's not your concern what keeps someone here or how actively someone uses this site (ans why). I doubt you went through my entire post history the volume of which you marvelled so you must not have any idea what kind of output I've written here, the personal context in which i have used this forum, or the kind of distress and frustration I've felt at seeming inability to leave or the kind of self-flagellation I've subjected myself to for the same reason. I don't disavow my responsibility in the matter. People don't fully know what kind of pragmatic wherewithal other users may have at their disposal. Given your background you know better.

This is the kind of thing that social media trolls say about long-term users, often to impute malicious intentions to them. That thinking surely is beneath you.

It snacks of encouragement and your statement triggered me to the point of making me feel motivated to make an attempt. Sure, you can't be fully responsible for how people respond to what you say but in THIS space that kind of triggering would count as a FORESEEABLE outcome which is is why these kinds of statements are in violation of the spirit of the forum.

And sure I'll grant it is strange in my case at least! But even so it's not someone's place to say that someone else here and if you truly feel that way about someone else here then you can keep that shit to yourself.

I gather you're over this entire discussion with me on the whole but you need to fully grasp this last part.
It does have nasty connotations. I do agree that if parents had a choice to splice out a gene they know could cause autism or any other potentially severe impairments then they should be able to make that choice. What happens, though, is that that option isn't going to or wouldn't be given to every parent. It would still be privileged. So, from that angle, I do think it's just plain not good. You choose to have a child knowing the genetic lottery could spite you. That's that. If you don't like the odds, don't have kids.
Privilege disparities among parents already exist in the world and have always and always will unless the world order becomes something so totally different there'll be other concerns than genetic manipulation. But vaccines and immunization campaigns were able to be implemented across all sectors regarding things like polio, sparing many children of having their lives robbed from them. And it's the children and prospective children that I care about most, not the parents' feelings.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: dragonofenvy
M

mysticall

Member
Jul 13, 2026
33
I totally get that @Hystearical. But autism is genetic, largely. Polio is viral. The two truly aren't comparable. Though the sentiment isn't lost on me about the children. I get it. It really is awful. But the thread has lost its point really at this point. I think the point that we can all still agree on is that autism sucks. Basically all around. It's miserably lonely and everyday is a sensory nightmare. If I had the choice to not have it then I would choose to be allistic. But here I am, commiserating on the suicide forum.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dragonofenvy
diviosd

diviosd

girl who's sad
Aug 7, 2023
315
im autistic and have also never been anyones best friend. its a lonely world. sucks. just sucks.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ForeverOutcast and mysticall
M

mysticall

Member
Jul 13, 2026
33
im autistic and have also never been anyones best friend. its a lonely world. sucks. just sucks.
It really is lonely. And everyone is like, 'oh social media makes everyone so connected.' Nah bruv. It makes me super aware of how little friends I have
 
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: ForeverOutcast and diviosd
settling

settling

Member
May 9, 2026
36
i wish i knew how humans worked intuitively
 
  • Like
Reactions: mysticall

Similar threads

siphon_hyphen
Replies
1
Views
139
Suicide Discussion
lastappleonearth
lastappleonearth
siphon_hyphen
Replies
9
Views
281
Suicide Discussion
burninghill
burninghill
The Disqualified
Replies
4
Views
353
Suicide Discussion
plskilme
P
W
Replies
18
Views
609
Suicide Discussion
flowersforalgernons
flowersforalgernons