Story Attempting to catch the bus with opioids

[wehadsomanyplans2]

Hi, I am attempting to catch the bus tonight. I'm using opioids, fentanyl/heroin and oxycodone. I took some gabapentin to kill my anxiety. Got drugs from the street in Philadelphia. I know this is all risky, but its the only shit I could get my hands on and I feel I am days away from being sent back to the hospital involuntarily, so I'm gonna at least give this shit a try. It feels like if I am gonna be stuck in hospitals for the rest of my life at least Im going down fighting. I'm sharing this in case its helpful to anyone else and will try to update on how it goes as much as I can. Thanks for reading this and being here with me. I wish you peace and freedom from suffering <3
Right now working on dissolving my heroin/fentanyl. Gonna take it rectally woo hoo!
Also gonna take metaclopromide 30mg and then 300mg oxycodone by mouth. Been fasting for ~9hrs
Got two "bundles" of fenty/heroin. Hoping/praying it is all enough.

 

[chobonzi]

Hi, I am attempting to catch the bus tonight. I'm using opioids, fentanyl/heroin and oxycodone. I took some gabapentin to kill my anxiety. Got drugs from the street in Philadelphia. I know this is all risky, but its the only shit I could get my hands on and I feel I am days away from being sent back to the hospital involuntarily, so I'm gonna at least give this shit a try. It feels like if I am gonna be stuck in hospitals for the rest of my life at least Im going down fighting. I'm sharing this in case its helpful to anyone else and will try to update on how it goes as much as I can. Thanks for reading this and being here with me. I wish you peace and freedom from suffering <3
Right now working on dissolving my heroin/fentanyl. Gonna take it rectally woo hoo!
Also gonna take metaclopromide 30mg and then 300mg oxycodone by mouth. Been fasting for ~9hrs
Got two "bundles" of fenty/heroin. Hoping/praying it is all enough.

I wish you luck and peace in whatever comes after tonight. Mine and my gf planned on CTB this way together. I feel like 2 buns is def enough. May your suffering be gone and may the sun rise in a new life, or may the sun never rise for you again should you do it.

 

[wehadsomanyplans2]

Took 30mg metaclopromide antiemetic and waiting 40min to take oxy and F/H

I wish you luck and peace in whatever comes after tonight. Mine and my gf planned on CTB this way together. I feel like 2 buns is def enough. May your suffering be gone and may the sun rise in a new life, or may the sun never rise for you again should you do it.

Thank you for that <3. Good to know 2buns should do it. I wish you peace and freedom from suffering in whatever you end up doing!

Now I'm waiting...10min down, 30 to go till I take the real stuff. Im indulging in Salsa music and tequila and gabapentin, so my anxiety level is not high...thank god. I feel ready & determined.
Here I go! Taking the oxys. Wish me luck.
I took all the stuff. 300mg oxy by mouth, 2 bundles of F/H by butt. I might have messed up and put toi much liquid in, but we'll see.
Discomfort in the butt, feel like I need to take a dump. But its okay.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Still here OP?

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find freedom from suffering as well, best wishes.

 

[Zebulon]

I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully one day I can have your strength

 

[chobonzi]

Any news on if it worked?

 

[Lostsoul333]

Any news from OP? I want to go this route as well. I want to use pure heroin.

 

[LondonVillie]

I want to use pure heroin.

Getting PURE H nowadays is a challenge.

 

[J&L383]

Would love to get heroin. . Or "aged" opium - old school.

 

[Lostsoul333]

Getting PURE H nowadays is a challenge.

Agreed. You need to know where to look.

 

[wehadsomanyplans2]

Thank you for the kind words. I came close but I missed the damn bus and instead spent a week in ICU and two more at psych ward, just got released and I suppose I'm back on the recovery wagon for a while. Thankfully not walking away with any intense disability and family has been very kind. Wishing you all luck out there for whatever path you choose.

 

[wehadsomanyplans2]

I'm just over a year out from my attempt. I started Ketamine treatments, they are horribly expensive but holy shit they have really helped me and I'm in a better place than I ever thought I could be a year ago. That said, during my last Ketamine treatment I had an intense flashback to the night of my attempt and I remembered hard why I did it, I have no judgement for myself or anyone else who decides to try to end their life. Sending so so so much love to all of us who have or are experiencing this level of pain and despair. Wishing with all my heart that your pain is lessened soon whether its through ending your life, or whether its through finding a way to live not in agony.