Discussion At the same time I want something, and at the same time I want nothing

[pieceoffox]

I've tried to discuss this with my friends, but no one understands what I'm talking about. Have you encountered similar situations, and how did you cope? I really need someone to understand me because this is unbearable

 

[dragonofenvy]

I think I understand where you're coming from, though I myself don't fully understand how the thoughts play out in my own head. I think you're describing learned helplessness. You want life to get better but don't know how to make things better, so your brain does a trick and makes you not want anything because nothing feels achievable, while still fantasizing about things (ie: good career, a luxury car, friends, etc.).

I think a better way to describe it is that you want to want something.

how did you cope?

I don't, unfortunately. Over time I just came to accept it. Acceptance, however, is nothing more than desensitization. If anyone else knows a better way to cope I'm all ears.

 

[post_card]

I fantasize about having a lovely life, a lovely wife, about being wealthy, about having my own house and being completely independent. At the same time - I do absolutely nothing that could get me close to reaching all this. All my life circles around random occurrences and nothing feels like it's a result of my own actions.
It has been going on for so long, that I actually forgot how it feels to have a desire. Everything is just so empty, it feels so far ahead that it doesn't make sense for me to start going towards it, because there is no guarantee that I will ever reach it. This is stupid.
So now the only thing that I am doing that is like ,,socially desired" of me to do is going to college. But I don't care about it. I hate it. I do the bare minimum, not putting any additional effort. Whatever happens, happens.
But for some god saken reason when I see a pair of people in love, I want to have what they are having. And I hate them for it. Hate them for making me jealous. The next day I usually just forget about that. And I come back to my mental rotting mindset, with no desire what s so ever.