Are you more suicidal in the morning / afternoon / evening ?

[AdeptFenster8773]

Going to bed and waking up are the hardest times for me. When the day winds down I am left alone with my thoughts and I gradually get worse until I am left to ruminate in my bed. When I wake up I have a few moments of bliss where I am not aware of reality. When the realization of how awful my life is sets in, I feel a tremendous amount of pain and I often begin to panic. I hold my head in my hands, and I know that as long as I am here I will be in pain.

 

[tomame]

honestly the mornings .. i hate waking up so f*cking badly.

 

[Dubito]

Not only, but mostly in the afternoon/evening.

 

[Jrileniwa]

I think it's more of a conviction to me. It's not a high or low thing, I just want to ctb. Although at this point it's kind of become a situation of seeing a place and thinking if it would allow for it, or which one would be the more apt. The waiting is more tough, since everything has to be organised in a manner that will yield success, that's the one thing that gives me any sort of worry.

 

[FuneralCry]

All the time I am wishing for the peace of non-existence, all I want is to erase this torturous, cruel existence so it's like I never suffered at all, nothing would ever make me wish for something as evil as existence where existing beings are tortured in agony every second with no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

To suffer in this existence will always be an abomination and all I want is to never suffer again, existing truly is torture and it's just so terrible and horrible how humans cause all this torture and suffering by imposing this existence at all, to suffer in this existence will always be a terrible mistake to me, every second I am wishing for non-existence as ceasing to exist is just all I see as positive, all I want is some peace.

 

[bb142342]

Was die Wochentage angeht, ist für mich ganz klar Sonntag.
Am Freitag, nachdem ich diesen beschissenen Job endlich hinter mir habe, geht es mir etwas besser. Aber dann, am Sonntag, stürzt alles wieder ab, als mir klar wird, dass am nächsten Tag der Wecker klingelt und ich mich durch eine weitere Arbeitswoche quälen muss.

Ich bin nun schon seit Jahren allein; meine Eltern wohnen in der Wohnung unter mir.

Sie sind es, die mich im Moment am Laufen halten – vor allem, weil ich es nicht ertragen könnte, ihnen das anzutun.

Mein Vater braucht nun auch Pflege, und ich helfe meiner Mutter dabei ein wenig.
Es ist so eine beschissene Situation. Einerseits gibt es Momente, in denen ich einfach nicht mehr kann – Momente, in denen ich einfach keine Kraft mehr habe.
Auf der anderen Seite lastet die erdrückende Schuld darauf, meinen Eltern das im hohen Alter anzutun – sie völlig allein zu lassen.

Angesichts der aktuellen Lage gibt es hier nicht viele andere Jobmöglichkeiten. Vielleicht würde die Suche nach einer anderen Stelle helfen. Aber auch da stoße ich auf dasselbe Problem: Durch meine Isolation und meine Schüchternheit habe ich das Gefühl, mich immer weiter in eine Sackgasse zu manövrieren – und ich scheue mich davor, mich zu bewerben, in eine andere Abteilung zu wechseln oder Ähnliches.

Ich glaube, wenn ich so viel Geld hätte – oder im Lotto gewinnen würde –, dass ich meinen Job kündigen und so leben könnte, als wäre ich im Ruhestand (oder wenn ich bereits im Ruhestand wäre), wäre mein Zustand viel, viel besser – oder vielleicht sogar ganz verschwunden.

Entschuldigung, fällt mein Englisch nicht so gut ist – ich habe einen Übersetzer benutzt.

 

[Off_Switch]

I'm usually suicidal from 12:00am to 11:59:59pm

 

[thelostautistic]

The evening for me

 

[AuraByte]

Evenings, man.

The thoughts race so hard and the impulses are strong.

The world is asleep. I'm wide awake. And it's the perfect time to not get caught or found until morning.

Fucked up, I know.

 

[eternallyjanedoe]

Always between the afternoon and nights, but mainly the afterrnoon. It's like every morning makes me believe "maybe it's worth living," before someone or something sends me into a spiral. It always makes me remember why I feel this way.
My catatonia tends to kick in during the afternoon as well, so I end up daydreaming about how my death will go whenever I enter a catatonic state.

It used to be worse at night because my medication wore off near the night, but I've started taking sleeping medication to combat it... which makes the afternoons worse, ironically.

 

[needtodienow]

Are you more suicidal in the morning / afternoon / evening ?

I'm asking that because since I'm in extreme isolation since almost 5 years, I'm more suicidal and anxious in the afternoon (especially between 4pm and 6pm and on the weekend it's worse). I also have huge ideation when I go to bed and when I wake up at nights (I'm always thinking about SN, if I fasted enough). And when I wake up it's just like a nightmare because I realize that I'm still here...

Taking diazepam helps a little bit but it doesn't resolve my isolation problem. I have huge anxiety / panic attacks may happen so I don't even want to meet people (even my own family because nobody can understand my suffering). I also read that solitude can be addictive. But this fucking sick world doesn't help to meet new people...

All day every day

 

[Forveleth]

Definitely morning for me. Ironic as I am a morning person.

 

[Shuaibyy]

Are you more suicidal in the morning / afternoon / evening ?

I'm asking that because since I'm in extreme isolation since almost 5 years, I'm more suicidal and anxious in the afternoon (especially between 4pm and 6pm and on the weekend it's worse). I also have huge ideation when I go to bed and when I wake up at nights (I'm always thinking about SN, if I fasted enough). And when I wake up it's just like a nightmare because I realize that I'm still here...

Taking diazepam helps a little bit but it doesn't resolve my isolation problem. I have huge anxiety / panic attacks may happen so I don't even want to meet people (even my own family because nobody can understand my suffering). I also read that solitude can be addictive. But this fucking sick world doesn't help to meet new people...

It's usually in the night for me, since I'm alone with my thoughts at that time.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I get suicidal thoughts pretty much all the time, but they do tend to worsen in the mornings/evenings.

 

[ScaredPossum]

I feel more suicidal in the afternoon. I have classes from morning to night, and things just get really overwhelming mid-day.
The agoraphobia and flashbacks really settle in when it's bright out and crowded and it makes me wish for death

 

[vitbar]

Used to be day time because stress from other people. Night was sanctuary. Now morning and evening/night bad. I get tired and feel depressed. Mornings because I'm sick of work.

 

[a-lien]

not more or less. but would be to tired, after sleep lol..to ever ctb in the morning... not a morning person at all.