Are you also a person that loves too much/is apathetic to everything else?

[lnlybnny]

When I love someone I become so infatuated I lose sense of reality to the point of becoming overly obsessive. It consumes me to my core. And this only happens with my parasocial loves of course. Maybe that's what they call ''hyperfocus''? On the other hand I'm indifferent to 99% of things in life. I don't care about what society expects of me or its norms, I don't even care about myself as my life is a mess and I can't force myself to do something about it, I feel numb. In fact it does bother me I'm not able to fit in because I feel like a fish out of water, but that's about it. I isolate so much I've always been a NEET through my whole adult life (yes it's embarrassing). I live in my own world of dreams and fantasies and that's what keeps me going and is stopping me from ctb at the moment (I don't know until when since I need to take action asap regarding my ctb).

Can anyone relate?

 

[huntermellow]

i can relate since i have bpd

 

[lnlybnny]

i can relate since i have bpd

I think I might have something but I'm undiagnosed

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I'm indifferent to 99% of things also.

I would never love a human especially romantically , never .

logically i don't care about anything only non-existence asap. nothing matters

 

[lnlybnny]

I'm indifferent to 99% of things also.

I would never love a human especially romantically , never .

logically i don't care about anything only non-existence asap. nothing matters

I don't feel I love anyone in real life only parasocially

 

[Trav1989]

I don't feel I love anyone in real life only parasocially

Hmm, as a person who wears their heart on their sleeve and has been in many relationships (I'm a guy in my 30's) I can honestly say that being single or in a relationship where my love wasn't reciprocated or my partner was unfaithful (only happened twice but was devastating) are the times I am happiest. Somebody I can truly be myself around and let my guard down is where I am most at home. Sadly, most women I have been with took advantage of this to get their way and I lost a lot of say in the relationships because I feared losing them. Then when they left I'd be a complete mess.

I've had two "successful" relationships out of many that lasted over 5 years and one that lasted around 3 years, and a lot that lasted anywhere from 3-6 months and in regards to the longer relationships they generally failed because I got too comfortable, I knew I was good looking and a good talker but I lacked emotional intelligence and couldn't see the cues when they happened and when I could things were generally too late because most women checked out by the time things started going downhill.

I blame some of the failures on me being too open about my thoughts and emotions, I can be too straightforward about such things while I have the opposite problem when it comes to more tangible things.

I just grow too content when the house is in good shape, the bills are paid, there are groceries in the fridge, and there are regular date nights and sex. I lacked spontaneity which I've learned many women require but I failed to offer. Also, many I dated tended to be quite awful with budgeting and I feel as though the excess spending was either a way to make things more interesting as stress mixes things up a bit, or was a way to milk me of some money while looking for the next "Mr. Right' before leaving when finding him and then repeating the process.

But yes, love is extremely vital to me and without it I tend to be at my lowest, I basically require companionship and regardless of how long I take time for myself that void just grows and grows until I kind of shut myself out from the world before I find someone new who will usually just leave me once I bring up my feelings because I tend to put everything out there and most people (even those who have been suicidal) tend to just immediately suggest therapy or pills and when I tell them I've been down that road multiple times they distance themselves from me.

 

[sugarb]

I've had a "favorite person" on occasion on and off for a long time but I recently (8~ months ago) realized I was doing it and have since stopped

 

[Ariii]

In a way, I usually become attached to the concept of a person I've made up in my head, then when I actually talk to them irl, reality hits me and I stop caring. Basically I only love ppl parasocially, even when ik them irl lmfao

 

[lnlybnny]

Hmm, as a person who wears their heart on their sleeve and has been in many relationships (I'm a guy in my 30's) I can honestly say that being single or in a relationship where my love wasn't reciprocated or my partner was unfaithful (only happened twice but was devastating) are the times I am happiest. Somebody I can truly be myself around and let my guard down is where I am most at home. Sadly, most women I have been with took advantage of this to get their way and I lost a lot of say in the relationships because I feared losing them. Then when they left I'd be a complete mess.

I've had two "successful" relationships out of many that lasted over 5 years and one that lasted around 3 years, and a lot that lasted anywhere from 3-6 months and in regards to the longer relationships they generally failed because I got too comfortable, I knew I was good looking and a good talker but I lacked emotional intelligence and couldn't see the cues when they happened and when I could things were generally too late because most women checked out by the time things started going downhill.

I blame some of the failures on me being too open about my thoughts and emotions, I can be too straightforward about such things while I have the opposite problem when it comes to more tangible things.

I just grow too content when the house is in good shape, the bills are paid, there are groceries in the fridge, and there are regular date nights and sex. I lacked spontaneity which I've learned many women require but I failed to offer. Also, many I dated tended to be quite awful with budgeting and I feel as though the excess spending was either a way to make things more interesting as stress mixes things up a bit, or was a way to milk me of some money while looking for the next "Mr. Right' before leaving when finding him and then repeating the process.

But yes, love is extremely vital to me and without it I tend to be at my lowest, I basically require companionship and regardless of how long I take time for myself that void just grows and grows until I kind of shut myself out from the world before I find someone new who will usually just leave me once I bring up my feelings because I tend to put everything out there and most people (even those who have been suicidal) tend to just immediately suggest therapy or pills and when I tell them I've been down that road multiple times they distance themselves from me.

I've never been too overly attached to anyone in real life as I've been to my parasocial loves. I feel I never loved anyone IRL, just parasocially