Discussion Are you afraid of the fact that you will die some day ? #23

[MeltingBrain]

Title . I would love to hear why you chose what you chose .

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You can find previous polls here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/meltingbrain-all-polls.123887/
Part of : https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...st-at-least-1-poll-daily.123125/#post-2051973
DailyPoll
#23
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[StolenLife]

I'm only afraid of the pain. Death itself is comforting to me, it means that all bad things will end and be forgotten. The pain is what I'm afraid of, which is why I will use SN as a method.

 

[TheMetalhead]

Not afraid, been through probably one of the most painful ways of attempting, now that I have some more peaceful methods I feel kinda relieved.

 

[Stormy Raine]

I welcome death and wish it hurry up because I'm tired of waiting for my bus

 

[Lulzacruel]

i just want to say goodbye to my family while dying or post-mortem in a letter

i want them to know how much i loved them

same if they die as well, i cant stand them thinking they are alone through the process

 

[FuneralCry]

I only fear this dreadful and harmful existence, the permanent end to all suffering comforts me, in fact the eternity of death is the only comfort and relief, only non-existence could ever be desirable. I've only ever wished to fall into a permanent and dreamless sleep, the thought of eternal sleep where all is forgotten about is so beautiful to me.

 

[AntHills]

It's the one thing holding me back. The very slim possibility that my chosen CTB method will be painful, in which case I imagine that it would be VERY painful, is just as much of a barrier for me as SI.

 

[flyaway]

No, I'm not afraid of death whenever it comes, I just don't want to suffer when I go.

 

[Csmith8827]

No I'm ready to leave.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

not afraid of death or what comes after. I'm just afraid of too much pain or traumatising my mum.

 

[carac]

I don't really want to die just yet but if I was to die tommorow so be it, when it does finally come it will be part filled with welcome relief. Pain on the other hand can fuck right off.

 

[MeltingBrain]

... traumatising my mum.

That should have been an option in the poll .
I feel the same way too . My mom will be devastated .

 

[AllFoxedOut]

That should have been an option in the poll .
I feel the same way too . My mom will be devastated .

my mum will be devastated either way, but I think I can lessen the trauma of it by ensuring she doesn't discover my corpse. or if she does, i can make sure it's not deformed or mangled.

 

[StaringIntoAnAbyss]

Im not scared of death because of having so much stress in life that it would feel like nothingness is the single best thing out there.
And for the pain part I would like to have a painless death but I'm not scared of not having one.
Something that scares me more is what happens to my body after I'm dead, i hope my body will just disintegrate (not by burial or cremation) but just instantly so like with an explosion.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

No. Not having hang-ups about mortality is the only advantage of being in this state.

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

The human brain usually does a good job in ignoring its own mortality.

Until you try to sleep, clueless, listening to The Caretaker's opus Everywhere at the End of Time.
I thought it was ambient music. I fell asleep, woke up, fell asleep, woke up, fell asleep
By the third time I woke up I was at the 4th album. The echoing distortions of what was music paralyzed me in bed.
I was in a cold sweat, listening to the awful sounds. It took me what felt like an hour to manage to get up and shut it off.

Every time I was alone with my thoughts, in the shower, out for a walk, I would think to myself, "I am going to die".
The idea of the self being tied to memories and the risk of getting dementia when old was suddenly a real threat.
I couldn't even listen to vaporwave for a while, that plays on the same nostalgic notes and repetitions.

I traumatized myself for around three months with that album.
Memento mori.

 

[Hotsackage]

no, i could use the rest. but i have things to do

 

[Tears_From_Nirvana]

If I could CTB in a way that was just a simple anxiety-less and painless thanos snap yeah I would hope to not be afraid but even with a so called peaceful method (nitrogen) at my disposal I still have SI. I am a little afraid about what happens after if anything but trillions of living things have died and are dying before me so it must not be that bad right ..

 

[ryzeninside25]

I haven't been afraid of my life ending for a long time.

That said I don't have a great pain tolerance so I fear dying certain ways. I definitely don't want to die a slow death like cancer, starvation, or radiation poisoning. I definitely don't want to die a gruesome death like burning alive. This leads to an interesting dichotomy like being fine at very high heights where a fall would kill me instantly on impact but getting dizzy and nervous when I'm at hight that is dangerous but I might survive a fall only to bleed out slowly or worse love but be mangled for life.

I also will note that if I had something worth living for I would probably fear death.

On a related note I did fear death when I was kid growing up in evangelical Christianity but once I stopped believing in an afterlife it didn't scare me anymore. I now see death as a place of eternal relief from my suffering. At the point of death I no longer exist so my thoughts and feelings are gone.

 

[MeltingBrain]

The human brain usually does a good job in ignoring its own mortality.

Until you try to sleep, clueless, listening to The Caretaker's opus Everywhere at the End of Time.
I thought it was ambient music. I fell asleep, woke up, fell asleep, woke up, fell asleep
By the third time I woke up I was at the 4th album. The echoing distortions of what was music paralyzed me in bed.
I was in a cold sweat, listening to the awful sounds. It took me what felt like an hour to manage to get up and shut it off.

Every time I was alone with my thoughts, in the shower, out for a walk, I would think to myself, "I am going to die".
The idea of the self being tied to memories and the risk of getting dementia when old was suddenly a real threat.
I couldn't even listen to vaporwave for a while, that plays on the same nostalgic notes and repetitions.

I traumatized myself for around three months with that album.
Memento mori.

Very powerful

 

[ryzeninside25]

not afraid of death or what comes after. I'm just afraid of too much pain or traumatising my mum.

I definitely feel the same. The one thing keeping me alive is the fear of the emotional damage I would cause my family.

 

[dra1ncoreslwt]

I have always felt warmth towards death, not in a fantasizing way, just understanding of what it is and it's nature. I've never actually feared dying, I've had near death experiences that weren't up to me, and they made me feel sad for everything I'm alive for right now rather than the unknown experience of dying, I feel when I die I'll know it and I'll be at peace, wether that's soon or far.

 

[Already Gone6]

Honestly, and i've said this out loud quite a few times. My worst fear is that i'm still here next year.
I'm afraid that I won't be able to act on suicide because i'm so sensitive. I have all the component of a suffer machine slave.
But i'm really trying to find a way out. So that's something.

 

[Kerrtu]

Well, I chose no, I am not afraid of death under any circumstances however, after I voted I instantly thought hold up, I definitely wouldn't want a trip to 'Funky Town' (cartel torture killing).

 

[wanttodie]

No, I am not afraid of death under any circumstance I want to die all be Happy when I die

 

[caraphernelia]

I'm not afraid of death or the idea of dying, the only thing that worries me is the idea of leaving the people I love behind, I just hope that when I eventually leave they won't feel too much pain.

 

[アホペンギン]

I don't care if whether my death is painful or not. I'm willing to spend my last moments in agony as long as I'm going to die for sure. I'm not afraid. I heard people still suffer with SN but I couldn't care less about that, I'll manage.

 

[trashhologram]

I'm not afraid of death, even if it's a painful one. I hope that when I die it will be quick and painless but if someone stabs me to death, so be it I don't really care.

 

[LostLily]

As long as it is quick and painless

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not scared of death itself as I consider it to be the most beautiful and perfect thing ever for me. However, what I am scared of is dying as I don't want to go through the dying process in excruciating pain but unfortunately I know that I will have to regardless of whether I ctb or die naturally