Are you actively planning to die or just ruminating?

[depressedmaniac]

Everything is prepared and good to go. Just can't seem to find the nerve. I better do though or it's going back to jail. So I better get on with it soon lol.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

As a shut in, no reason to stick around. But motivating to CTB is near impossible.

 

[Dear Agony]

I feel like I'm definitely ruminating but that it'll happen at some point if my eating disorder doesn't kill me first. Some people consider that a form of CTB though, so if you're one of those, I'd definitely say I'm actively planning it…

 

[its-about-time]

Neither. I have what I need. Just time to execute it.

Same here.

 

[sunny/omori]

Actively planning I just struggle everything I tried so far doesn't work because I vomit so much all off whatever I took comes up I had one where I was deaf for three days but it still didn't finish me off and was brutal I need a gun really

Did you take antiemetics? Never poison yourself without them. You could suevive with organ damage. Best wishes.

 

[Slimetae]

Oh as soon as I get the opportunity I'm checking out

 

[Darkover]

my SN should arrive by the end of the month how long after it arrives i take it is all up to fate

 

[Q-Dust]

In my case, the access to methods is very limited, ctb is very difficult for me and I only have awful methods to choose from. If I try to read about hanging, it gives me anxiety and I start to imagine how it can fail, so even know I want ctb more than anything, for me it is mostly just wishing that I was not here and trying to distract myself until I fall asleep.

It sounds so horrifying suffering until old age. I will certainly find a way to leave before then, no matter what. I just wish that suicide was easier. It is depressing that it has to be this way but I guess the suffering will end someday no matter what. Life is very temporary and meaningless after all.

Shits sucks when you can't buy or import SN

 

[Ta555]

I have moments where I want to live a bit longer, but reading anything in the news these days is enough to change that quickly. Right now, my girlfriend and I are planning to take the SN in October. I just hope I have the courage to go through with it then.

I wish I had a romantic partner or friend I could do it with. I wish both of you peace whatever you decide.

 

[Enoughnow]

Did you take antiemetics? Never poison yourself without them. You could suevive with organ damage. Best wishes.

Only one of the times but they were over the counter so I'm pretty sure that's why they didn't work
Literally sat in bed now trying figure out how I can do it right now so desperate to die god I wish euthansia was legal in the uk

 

[Intelligent_Panic99]

I have the date set. The place. The time. I've asked for time off work and fended off offers to celebrate my birthday (shortly thereafter). I have my note. I have a countdown on my phone. It helps me wait because I have some more stuff to do. When the urge to ctb hits I just go through my plan step by step in my head until I am calm.

Luckily I have to move because it gives me a reason to throw out (give away) all my stuff (moving to very small apartment from large house thanks to sky rocketing rent prices) and clean up my life. Also need to move money around to deal with debts, make a little more money etc. also my puppy needs to get a bit older so she and her "big sister" can be at daycare until their new guardian (already known) can come get them. Hopefully just a few days.
So actively planning to answer the question lol

 

[RagingCat]

We did a little promise to do group ctb if everyone is still 100% sure about it when the time comes. I'm planning, working on details and waiting for now.