Are you a hermit?

[SentimentalTrip]

I've been living a pretty reclusive life for almost three years, pretty much started when I made my account on here. I leave my home, but not nearly as often as most people. I've been mostly able to get away with this because I was ill for a while and then I kept going to school. I would go to class and then immediately back home. But now I've graduated and I need to find a job. I feel almost "broken" socially. I can hardly carry on a conversation. I'm inept. I hate being outside.

Anyone else like this? I've been depressed for a decade, but I was always functional. I didn't expect to hit this low. It sucks.

 

[Nightfoot]

Yes, I live a reclusive existence. It's often quite lonely.

 

[SomedayorNexttime]

Yes. I don't like going out and I have no friends. It makes me comfortable with death.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Average Joe]

I've been living a pretty reclusive life for almost three years, pretty much started when I made my account on here. I leave my home, but not nearly as often as most people. I've been mostly able to get away with this because I was ill for a while and then I kept going to school. I would go to class and then immediately back home. But now I've graduated and I need to find a job. I feel almost "broken" socially. I can hardly carry on a conversation. I'm inept. I hate being outside.

Anyone else like this? I've been depressed for a decade, but I was always functional. I didn't expect to hit this low. It sucks.

This might sound incredibly naive or stupid but can I ask why you hate being outside? Is it out of your comfort zone, or is it a depression thing? Or a social thing where you struggle with people? I do apologise again for the stupid question, i get a lot of brain fog.

I'm sorry about your situation, I reckon a lot of people would feel the same way after being reclusive for three years. I know that may not help you but I used to feel the same way with my bedroom. It was a safe space for me when I started struggling with trauma. It felt like a barricade, physically and emotionally.

 

[Quietist]

Yes, for the past decade, actually longer.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to re-adapt/reintegrate into a normal life.

 

[fedup1982]

Yeh this more or less defines the last 20 years of my life.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I relate to this. I have a job, but just come home after. I don't do social things and just go out when I have to. I like to think I'm part time hikikomori.

 

[WallTermite]

AllCatsAreGay is right. Pseudo-hikkikomori is kind of the feeling here. I wish I was a true hermit tho, living my own way and quitting my own way.

 

[bankai]

AllCatsAreGay

Dude

Thanks, I needed that.

 

[cowboypants]

Kind of I like travelling, so I go outside once in a week or so at the least. I try to avoid human contact as much as possible, it makes me stressed.

If I'm depressed, I stay inside for like 10 days. I don't like being in at home for extended time, oddly, though. It's been nearly a decade with this kinda of lifestyle, maybe pretty much all my life even

 

[Pale_Rider]

Yes. Not a fan of people. Not necessarily a hater. But I think I've mostly seen enough.

 

[wanttosleep]

yes if it wasn't for work and needing money i would stay inside my house forever.

 

[Apathy79]

I suppose there are levels to this. What you're describing is basically my current life. Which I consider at least relatively normal after living like a hermit for so long.

Before this, I spent 9 years in a small wooden house in a forest, miles away from my nearest neighbour, and virtually never saw people. That was my hermit life.

That one is a bit different because unless you plan to leave that life (which I didn't, it was imposed on me when my house burned down), there is absolutely no need to keep up appearances, maintain hygiene, clean up, etc., except to the extent that the dirtiness/smell becomes too annoying. You don't see people, ever, so what difference does it make if you don't wash your hair for a few months, or get it cut for 2 years? Why does it matter if you get really fat, or conversely lose a tonne of weight and get jacked? It literally doesn't make one iota of difference to anything. Days merge, what time you're asleep and for how long mean nothing, I remember one time realising I'd been lying in bed for almost 4 days and just smiling to myself thinking I should probably eat something.

That life gave me a different way to view the world that is strange after re-entering it. It took a while to learn to talk properly again much less communicate like anything other than an outcast. Turns out if you never speak for almost a decade, you pretty much forget how to. Having to keep the apartment relatively clean because people might come around is bizarre and feels difficult. Having to shower most days and maintain the body a bit better because I'll see people and they'll judge me on that takes a while to adjust to. These things mean nothing to me but because they affect the way others view me I feel like I have to pay at least some attention to them.

I think the issue with this version is even in a small town like mine, there are still so many people around compared to zero. I can't be the same guy I was there that just happens to be living here and seeing people every week. I either need to go full hermit again, or socialise myself enough to live functionally in society, which removes most of the reality of what hermit life was really like.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm an hermit too. I don't understand people and people don't understand me. In fact, i'm an ALIEN hermit

 

[azoidant]

Agoraphobia is a bitch. Just being outside around people is unbearable. The grocery store is the olympics. Carrying out basic platitudes with strangers is nerve-wracking. Can't see myself ever having a future because of it.

I work part-time at my dad's business but I'm in the back and don't have to talk to anybody. Other than that, I'm perpetually in my bedroom. My bedroom is the only place I feel safe and comfortable. I'll probably die in here tbh.

Part of the problem is that I genuinely enjoy solitude and prefer being alone so I have no motivation to even attempt to change anymore. I basically have zero desire to participate in society. I cut off all my friends, talk to nobody outside my immediate family, and honestly feel more at peace for it. I seem kind of incapable of getting lonely at all. Probably have SZPD.

 

[collapsenik]

Yep- I'm from a pretty small place and don't like much human interaction. Now that I'm in dorms, I mostly stay in my tiny room all day long

 

[frayed]

Been a complete recluse for the last five or so years. Not sure of it's agoraphobia. I just... don't have anywhere to go, except the supermarket, the dentist, or the barbershop. And I also get this sickening feeling of disconnectedness whenever I am among people. Makes me wish I were dead.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I'm not a hermit outwardly, but I am inside. I have zero need of social interaction. It's exhausting, annoying, and inevitably goes horribly wrong if I don't keep it to a minimum. Solitary confinement would be wonderful to me. Obligations force me to try to act normal because for me it's actually easier to be invisible that way.

 

[ConstantPain]

Been a complete recluse for the last five or so years. Not sure of it's agoraphobia. I just... don't have anywhere to go, except the supermarket, the dentist, or the barbershop. And I also get this sickening feeling of disconnectedness whenever I am among people. Makes me wish I were dead.

I think I could be happier as a total recluse but don't have enough $ even for that lifestyle. Having to work in the office again is torture and I can't even watch traffic without thinking what are they so damn happy about. Disconnectedness is a good way to sum it up.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes. I work from home and live alone. I just don't seem to have the desire to go out to places now. Fortunately, I still can when I really have to. My social anxiety tends to hit in more specific ways- eg. work places. But, I know what you mean. I'm so afraid I may have to join the 'real' world some day.

 

[ConstantPain]

I worked from home for 5 years. Same job, have been there for 9 years total but our joke of a board decided there'd be no more working from home. Mentally it is torture and physically I can't handle it. The office is a toxic environment, full of drama, and I get less done. The people that think working a job is good for you are wrong and can absolutely suck it.

 

[calebzz1]

I'm an involuntary NEET due to my visual impairment and only go out for practical reasons that will benefit my household or improve the medical condition I face daily.

If it were up to myself I would get disability benefits now and obtain a housing voucher but I have to be patient and wait.

Unlike a lot of people on here I would rather be alone if my condition is more permanent in nature.

 

[nool]

I am. I started homeschooling in the middle of high school and it kinda just snowballed from there. Now, I'm jobless, have no irl friends, and spend most of my days inside.