My thoughts on the train method

[metrochan]

I've recently read about the train method in this forum, and I've seen many people point out that a big reason not to do it is because of the trauma we will inflict on the train drivers.

I don't think that's a sole reason not to use this method. My explanation is...

Most of them have way more support than some of us could ever dream of having

Normal people make up most of society... obviously. And that includes most professions, especially engineering, which is where most of the train drivers come from. If you're a normal person, you have the "privilege" of being able to communicate your emotions and needs more thoroughly with the professionals who are supposed to help you. These professionals are also easier to find since you speak a language that a lot of people understand and that the world is built around.

That's not the case for someone like me, for instance. My mind is so neurodivergent that most people simply don't have the time or desire to understand what I'm going through. I'd have to find another person whose mind "works" like mine, but again, that's not how this works. It's like searching for a blind person to cure your blindness.

And again, I don't blame it all on people for most of this. I'm sure there are neurotypical people who genuinely want to help neurodivergent people, but life is so difficult and painful that by the end of the workday, they've simply run out of energy and just aren't able to help us. That's just how life is in this world: there's no place for genuine altruism.

Returning to the train method: yes, it will inflict an unfair emotional pain on the train drivers, but since when the world was fair?

I'm sure most of people who use the train method don't do it to attack others. I don't want to harm anybody. But again, why has CTB become a taboo in society? Why have the CTB methods become so difficult to properly execute? If there's someone to blame the pain inflicted by this method, it's the governments and society. They've prohibited allowing us to escape from this corrupt reality. And so, some of us don't have any more methods for escaping other than this.

In summary:

1. Most train drivers and observers are just normal people.
2. Normal people have way more resources available for mental recovery. They also have more connections they can use to find mental health professionals.
3. Normal people have a family.
4. Life isn't fair.
5. Governments and society make it so that this is the only CTB method some of us have.​

I'm sure there's something else I'm missing. But I think that's it for now. I really do pray that my CTB won't harm anybody, I really do. It just seems that this life doesn't want it to be that way.

Thank you for reading.

 

[wehamuho]

u should not care much what people on the internet say, they cant hold u or anything! if anything this virtue signaling makes me wanna die even harder, am i supposed to believe most people give a shit about us? that most train people EVEN has the chance to end like us??? dont be ridiculous pls! we have the certainty our lifes suck while they'll have normal lives! lol! and if people overhwelmingly dont care 'bout us suicidal peasants but we must about them they are winning the anti suicide fight! they held themselves victim hostages and won!!

think that by caring 'bout everyone ur ignoring the strongest suffering ones and that most people go to have normal lifes and way better support therefore by forbidding the train ur failing to balance the suffering approprately

 

[melon-melancholy]

And that includes most professions, especially engineering, which is where most of the train drivers come from.

I'm not sure if engineering is where most train drivers come from. I know in NYC thats not the case at all.

 

[metrochan]

I'm not sure if engineering is where most train drivers come from. I know in NYC thats not the case at all.

Well, at least something like that.

Another point is, it's not like these people are going into careers with a tougher job market, like studying philosophy or being an artist or poet. If they managed to become train drivers, there's a good chance they studied in college something related to trains, like engineering, which would give them an advantage in the job market. There are exceptions... of course.

 

[PugnaEnjoyer2137]

This is such a flawed assumption to have that "Most of them have way more support than some of us could ever dream of having". You won't know that. You won't know in what mental state your train driver is, or will be when you jump. You don't, and won't know the train driver that will be behind the steering wheel and you cannot just assume, that they're better off, have more access to mental health help or that they have a family. Might as well be going through a crushing divorce, or might have lost somebody to CTB as well. That's such a crazy and far fetched assumption.
If you want to CTB via train, nobody can really stop you, it's your decision, but saying that "(...) they are just normal people" is completely reductive. It's just a cope.

 

[applepie]

This is such a flawed assumption to have that "Most of them have way more support than some of us could ever dream of having". You won't know that. You won't know in what mental state your train driver is, or will be when you jump. You don't, and won't know the train driver that will be behind the steering wheel and you cannot just assume, that they're better off, have more access to mental health help or that they have a family. Might as well be going through a crushing divorce, or might have lost somebody to CTB as well. That's such a crazy and far fetched assumption.
If you want to CTB via train, nobody can really stop you, it's your decision, but saying that "(...) they are just normal people" is completely reductive. It's just a cope.

I completely agree with you, this is such a stupid self-centered view. You never know what other people might be going through.

Also, I've heard about a person from my vicinity who survived jumping in front of the train and whose legs basically got amputated on spot.

 

[melon-melancholy]

Well, at least something like that.

Another point is, it's not like these people are going into careers with a tougher job market, like studying philosophy or being an artist or poet. If they managed to become train drivers, there's a good chance they studied in college something related to trains, like engineering, which would give them an advantage in the job market. There are exceptions... of course.

In Nyc all you need is a GED or high school diploma https://www.mta.info/careers/train-operator

 

[metrochan]

This is such a flawed assumption to have that "Most of them have way more support than some of us could ever dream of having". You won't know that. You won't know in what mental state your train driver is, or will be when you jump. You don't, and won't know the train driver that will be behind the steering wheel and you cannot just assume, that they're better off, have more access to mental health help or that they have a family. Might as well be going through a crushing divorce, or might have lost somebody to CTB as well. That's such a crazy and far fetched assumption.
If you want to CTB via train, nobody can really stop you, it's your decision, but saying that "(...) they are just normal people" is completely reductive. It's just a cope.

So this is why I said "most of them." I know there are exceptions, maybe more than I thought. But I still believe that normal people make up a big percentage of train drivers and observers, and also that society is built around their manners and ways of thinking. What I'm saying is their access to help compared to that of some of us is greater.

 

[whorror]

u should not care much what people on the internet say, they cant hold u or anything! if anything this virtue signaling makes me wanna die even harder, am i supposed to believe most people give a shit about us? that most train people EVEN has the chance to end like us??? dont be ridiculous pls! we have the certainty our lifes suck while they'll have normal lives! lol! and if people overhwelmingly dont care 'bout us suicidal peasants but we must about them they are winning the anti suicide fight! they held themselves victim hostages and won!!

think that by caring 'bout everyone ur ignoring the strongest suffering ones and that most people go to have normal lifes and way better support therefore by forbidding the train ur failing to balance the suffering approprately

You don't know what other people are going through, you don't have a certainty that they have normal lifes. Some would probably go through the same shit we are going through, if we didn't receive that much empathy from people it doesn't mean not to show empathy for others.

 

[applepie]

So this is why I said "most of them." I know there are exceptions, maybe more than I thought. But I still believe that normal people make up a big percentage of train drivers and observers, and also that society is built around their manners and ways of thinking. What I'm saying is their access to help compared to that of some of us is greater.

Even if, so what? Does that mean that it allows you to cause them suffering? To risk that they will get a life-long trauma or something? Having access to help and getting help does not automatically mean that it will work. You might ruin someone's life.

 

[PugnaEnjoyer2137]

So this is why I said "most of them." I know there are exceptions, maybe more than I thought. But I still believe that normal people make up a big percentage of train drivers and observers, and also that society is built around their manners and ways of thinking. What I'm saying is their access to help compared to that of some of us is greater.

But around what you base your assumption that it is "most of them"? It's completely baseless.
What does it even mean to be a normal person? I guess I could've been easily considered a normal person for many, and yet I am still here, and my pain isn't greater or smaller than yours. If you CTB via train, you will most probably absolutely traumatize the train driver, and you will never know how, and even if, they will be able to deal with that guilt. You have no idea whether they have healthy coping mechanism. You don't, and won't know whether they will be able to access mental health institutions or specialists.
Not to mention fair share of neurodivergent people are into trains themselves. How you can be sure, that the driver on that day is neurotypical?
It's ultimately your choice, but you should know that you will be traumatising the driver, you will be a nuisance to the people taking the train and the assumptions you have made are a big cope.

 

[Set Real Goul]

My uncle is a train driver. He has worked as both a freight train driver and a subway driver, and now he works in their depot. He has no family and has been drinking his whole life. A lot of train drivers struggle with alcohol because it's such a stressful job. He knows people who were "ordinary people" until they developed PTSD after suicide incidents and eventually drank themselves into ruin.

I understand that this is an anecdotal experience and that the quality of psychological support varies greatly from country to country. But that's exactly why I don't understand where the confidence comes from that train drivers have more resources available for psychological recovery. At the very least, that's a questionable assumption, and a flawed conclusion is then built on top of it.

And that's without even considering how many people may actually be affected. Depending on the railway system, there can be two people in the cab — the main driver and the assistant — and when college students are doing practical training, there can even be four people in the cab.

Everyone decides for themselves what to do and who they might traumatize or shock with their CTB, but making up this idea of "normal people" (a generalization that doesn't really mean anything — I'm glad you at least didn't say "normie" :3) and treating them as if they're somehow privileged because of it is misguided

I hope I didn't come across as rude.

 

[never mind me]

Like many others I don't agree with OP's assumption that train drivers are in general better off then people on SaSu. There is no way to know. At least where I live you don't need to study to become a train driver and it is certainly not a job with high prestige.
That being said, I wouldn't see the risk of traumatizing the train driver as too much of a reason against train suicide. Train suicides have been happening for decades, so someone who chooses to become a train driver knows that he might one day run his train over someone who wants to kill himself. Imo that is simply a risk that is associated with the job. Very much like people who decide to work for the police may be attacked or even be shot at at some point during their career.
Tbh I would be more worried about only being hurt but not killed in train suicide. I also imagine it to be very hard regarding SI to stay lying in perfect position and not try to move away at the last moment.