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Passersby

Passersby

Trapped in space and time
Aug 29, 2019
1,644
Its been a long term planned out rational thing for me however I still might do it impulsively someday when things aren't going well. Technically it wouldn't be impulsive though as I would have already planned it to a t for years. Would rather set a date though and follow through.
 
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astaeste2021

Member
Jan 31, 2021
25
43. Got everything prepared. Can't make myself to do it. Waiting for an impulse strong enough.
This is me too. I'm 48. I have a long history of making careful pre-suicide plans, and then not being able to go through with it at the last moment. I think I fear the loss of control—those last few moments of awareness after the point of no return. If I were more impulsive and less of a methodical plodder, it would probably be over by now. I don't know what to do about this. My chances for actual recovery seem remote, so suicide may actually be my best shot. Getting drunk disinhibits some people, but not me so much. I guess blind, impotent rage might give me the final push I need. Maybe I need to watch the news more often.
I'm sorry you are hurting
 
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restforeternity

restforeternity

Student
Feb 17, 2019
170
37, has done it on impulse at 35 after a series of unfortunate events...learned that I will never step foot in a mental hospital. now I no longer see hope in MY life sooooo, I am painfully smoking, starving and working myself to death. I have to show a facade that I am a strong and independent single parent so that no one will ever have to worry.
 
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Adamsnolife

Adamsnolife

Specialist
May 5, 2020
395
I'm 33. I'm just in a waiting game until UK lockdown ends
 
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justanotherstar

justanotherstar

Life: you can’t fire me, I quit.
Nov 23, 2020
345
I'm in the 33 club (there seems to be a few of us). I want it to work too much to try to CTB impulsively
 
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fly away

It’s enough
Oct 28, 2020
110
Turning 60 in a few months. Almost 50 yrs of hell. Im surprised I've made it this long. I'm ready, just waiting for the right time.
 
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C

CahCaw

Member
Jan 4, 2021
10
Hey, not in my 30's by any metric, but I am curious - what sets y'all apart from your peers, in the sense that you feel depressed but your peers don't?
 
Tackingintothewind

Tackingintothewind

Mage
Mar 2, 2021
530
Hey, not in my 30's by any metric, but I am curious - what sets y'all apart from your peers, in the sense that you feel depressed but your peers don't?

I'm not sure that theres anything we in our 30s on here all have in common. For myself here are the things I dont have in common with most of my peers
I'm autistic (asperger's), have dyspraxia, am ace/aro, have photographic memory and have PTSD, I also suffer from mal adaptive day dreaming.
 
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Symbiote

Illuminated
Oct 12, 2020
3,099
36 here, it's always been pre-meditative and all about timing on a day where everything falls into place. Like planning the world's greatest escape from the prison called LIFE.
 
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fly away

It’s enough
Oct 28, 2020
110
I never cared about age at all, but 60 yrs means I would've been dealing with mental illness for 50 yrs. Half a century. Ugh. It's been my life. And I've had enough.
 
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L

letsdiee

Member
Apr 8, 2021
14
How is it to be 60?
How is to be 30? How is to be 40? The same like to be 20. Nothing changes.... What a stupid question. The only diffrence he/she probaly has less libido, no longer productive and from evolutionary point of view no longer needed in society. You're brainwashed by your parents if you care about age.
 
mini_weeny

mini_weeny

Every cradle is a grave
Jan 5, 2021
340
How is to be 30? How is to be 40? The same like to be 20. Nothing changes.... What a stupid question. The only diffrence he/she probaly has less libido, no longer productive and from evolutionary point of view no longer needed in society. You're brainwashed by your parents if you care about age.
I have to disagree, being young doesn't automatically make you productive, many ppl in their 60s are very productive indeed and evolutionarily speaking grandpas and grandmas serve the function of helping care for the youngsters while their parents go get sustenance for them, so it's a myth that old ppl are useless for society. Also, they concentrate lots of useful knowledge about the world. Finallly, the most powerful men and women in the world and that also are Influencing the future of the newest generations are 60+ I.e: Putin, Gates, etc.... So, show a bit more respect for them, they know so many things about life that u don't. I wish I had a dad or mom in their 60s that could have given me advice on how not to fuck up my life and end up in this damned site.
 
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drivingaround

drivingaround

Member
Feb 27, 2020
41
I'm 31. In the past I've had impulsive attempts and then another more planned attempt but survival instinct definitely kicked in. I plan a lot in my head but never followed through with more elaborate plans. In times when I feel better I still have this sense that I will eventually ctb.
 
L

Last chance

Specialist
Feb 6, 2021
346
Im 37,I have had suicidal thoughts since my mid twenties that have only got stronger each year. At the moment its the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up. I have two options which I am prepared for,hanging and CO I want to go soon but I guess Im just waiting for something to motivate me and finally push me over the edge.
 
L

letsdiee

Member
Apr 8, 2021
14
I have to disagree, being young doesn't automatically make you productive, many ppl in their 60s are very productive indeed and evolutionarily speaking grandpas and grandmas serve the function of helping care for the youngsters while their parents go get sustenance for them, so it's a myth that old ppl are useless for society. Also, they concentrate lots of useful knowledge about the world. Finallly, the most powerful men and women in the world and that also are Influencing the future of the newest generations are 60+ I.e: Putin, Gates, etc.... So, show a bit more respect for them, they know so many things about life that u don't. I wish I had a dad or mom in their 60s that could have given me advice on how not to fuck up my life and end up in this damned site.
Nice joke. They don't have any knowledge automaticly beceause they're old. More often in addition to being stupid they have degenerate brains - and you want to give your children such person? Yeah, you'd be great parent! Maybe your children would end up in this site too.
Something went wrong with your life and that's mean your parents were shitty parents and without details they just didin't prepared you for life, neither your grands. If you had the same persons for parents but older (let's say 60+) they wouldn't prepared you either so stop lying yourself. Moreover i gurantee that if the were older you would end up in bigger mess.
 
mini_weeny

mini_weeny

Every cradle is a grave
Jan 5, 2021
340
Nice joke. They don't have any knowledge automaticly beceause they're old. More often in addition to being stupid they have degenerate brains - and you want to give your children such person? Yeah, you'd be great parent! Maybe your children would end up in this site too.
Something went wrong with your life and that's mean your parents were shitty parents and without details they just didin't prepared you for life, neither your grands. If you had the same persons for parents but older (let's say 60+) they wouldn't prepared you either so stop lying yourself. Moreover i gurantee that if the were older you would end up in bigger mess.
If ur here then your parents were shit too, so. Some teens and 20 somethings act as if they had degenerative brains or mental retardation too, so... the joke is on you darling.
 
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letsdiee

Member
Apr 8, 2021
14
If ur here then your parents were shit too, so. Some teens and 20 somethings act as if they had degenerative brains or mental retardation too, so... the joke is on you darling.
You've just discoverd that the earth is round and confirm what i said at the same time. Age doesn't matter... Congratulations at least you have useful knowledge now :ahhha:
 
calssilva

calssilva

Student
Dec 16, 2020
157
I guess bpd / bd are more impulsive and ocpd / ocd / depression are more planned
 
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deadinsideforever

deadinsideforever

Member
Mar 31, 2021
30
45, so many times I've wanted to ctb but my children have prevented me ( not physically but the thought of hurting them) just waiting for my youngest to graduate next year and then I'll bow out. Just so wish I could go today
 
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T

TessB

Warlock
Oct 13, 2020
743
Forty fucking 4.. feeling a bit elderly now compared to all you whippersnappers :haha:
 
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deadinsideforever

deadinsideforever

Member
Mar 31, 2021
30
Forty fucking 4.. feeling a bit elderly now compared to all you whippersnappers :haha:
You a 1975 too? I'm not actually 45 til November but though I might as well round up. I agree everyone else is so young
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
48, ctb plan sorted, Will sorted, requirements sorted,location sorted, now just playing the waiting game, my dog's 10 so 5-years or less to go,unless the Zombie apocalypse happens then l am so getting stuck into that!!!
 

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