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yaya

yaya

sad
Dec 17, 2018
11
Honestly, I fear the times when I don't want to ctb/want to find a reason to stay and keep on fighting for happiness. It all seems so pointless, like it wasn't meant for me. Whenever I have a little bit of hope, I also get depressed because it scares me that I won't be able to go through with ctb, which, realistically, will probably be the only way I can stop feeling so awful.
 
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yaya

yaya

sad
Dec 17, 2018
11
my mood swing change throughout the day. Mornings and daytime are especially tough for me... at nights I usually feel better and think I can trudge through

I can really relate to this as well.. Mornings/day is really tough, but somehow night time makes me feel a little more at ease. I wonder why that is?
 
N

NotWorthLiving

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2018
1,264
I have moments where I find a little bit of serenity but it soon fades back into wanting to ctb
 
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A

Ayeitsalaska

Student
Dec 19, 2018
117
I want to die somedays. Other days I want to live. Tonight I wanted to die so badly for a few hours researched extensively a method. I am not very good at reading so it was hard for me to understand.
 
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A

Ayeitsalaska

Student
Dec 19, 2018
117
sometimes I think meditation would cure me of my suicidal thoughts. theyre so chronic. im not sure if i can ever get better
 
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seekingoblivion

seekingoblivion

Arcanist
Dec 11, 2018
454
I think about suicide every single day but the urge to do it is much weaker on some days and much stronger on others. Sometimes the urge isn't even there but I will definitely think about suicide.
 
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Reactions: Maravillosa, anelakapu and therhydler

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