Discussion Are there any old mates (50+) that wan't to ctb?

[SimplePeaceOfMind]

Been here on SaSu for a short time, it seems, that most of people are young.

When I was about 15 I tried to ctb cutting my wrists, was painfull. Meanwhile with some medication I was able to manage anxiety and depression.

But now, am considering it again, as society once again turned not be a pleasant place to be.
Unemployed, too old for a job, too young for retirement, and other things.

Just curious of others path, and how are you managing with this phase of life. Still have my mum, and I am the only relative. I love her but I may say she is the only impediment to CTB, selfish but I which that she CTB as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, with the help of SaSu community, I think I already a valid PSH setup.

 

[itsgone2]

Yes early 50s here. Same, too young to retire, too old to be considered for anything. Tired of the battle. Ready to eternally rest

 

[jimmyjiggy80]

Good things may be around the corner still. Since i felt like ctb over 10 years ago, it's been my best 10 in general. Met an amazing gf in past few years, success with art and music, but...

My health did a complete twist of fate on me earlier this year, and led me here.

 

[SimplePeaceOfMind]

Good things may be around the corner still. Since i felt like ctb over 10 years ago, it's been my best 10 in general. Met an amazing gf in past few years, success with art and music, but...

My health did a complete twist of fate on me earlier this year, and led me here.

Sorry, for the twist. May sound like empty words, but wish you can somehow turn the tables in your favour, whatever it may result to be.

Anyway just to say thank you for your hopeful comment. Been so lonely in the past years, that your comment brought me to tearing up.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

57f here. Been suffering from depression on and off my entire life for NO reason. Last few years it has escalated to suicidal levels. Tried litterly everything to get help. Now I am on SSDI because I can no longer work. I got approved on the first try because my medicals records are an inch thick. That is how bad I am.

 

[SimplePeaceOfMind]

57f here. Been suffering from depression on and off my entire life for NO reason. Last few years it has escalated to suicidal levels. Tried litterly everything to get help. Now I am on SSDI because I can no longer work. I got approved on the first try because my medicals records are an inch thick. That is how bad I am.

Sorry to hear that, dust-in-the-wind, it sounds like you are fighting this for so long. Hope you can somehow find a chemical brain balance, as it is the way I see how our minds work. I somehow managed to find some way to fight my initial depression through medication.

 

[Darmok]

I am in my early 50s. I've wanted to ctb since my teen years. Frustrating and frustrated.

 

[Redacted24]

50+M
Also with elderly mother and I'm all she has.
Just was liberated from the abusive warden spouse that drove to find this site after a near impulsive attempt in 2023.

I'm deliberately ending my life as it was - marriage, job etc to see if that helps me find balance again.

No idea how long my mother will be here; if I can't find my own internal peace then once she goes I'll find my own eternal peace and exit in the physical sense.

But yeah... it's hard to keep going. I'm with you on that.

 

[loulapadoola]

Yes. I'm 51. Depression and suicidal ideation on and off throughout my life.
Last ten years have been unbearable. Lost my husband to cancer. My adopted son moved into residential care due to his complex needs. My long distance love of my life died of an accidental heroin overdose after not touching it for years. My job is killing me. Menopause. Etc etc. But my son and Mum are the only thing that's stopped me so far.
But now I'm desperate. I have CPTSD and can't bear the physical agony anymore. I will find a way.