appeso ma ho paura del fallimento

[letmeseethedeath]

there are so many things i don't understand well about hanging
tomorrow i'm planning to leave this useless and painful life, and i don't have a rope but only a belt
i thought i can do like robin williams did but i still don't understand how to use the belt
also, what spot should i use on my neck to go more peacefully because i always suffered a lot living and i don't deserve to experience pain and failure
does anybody know if consciousness will occur in a matter of seconds? does it hurt? will i be not able to move and finish my job (ctb)
i'm so scared to do it, a part of me was hoping things would have been better but they only went worse and i can't do this anymore
i'm tired and i wanna reach my dad who passed away three years ago
i hope it goes well and smooth and nobody will disturb me while doing it
i don't want to be saved, i just want to be in a coffin away from everything

 

[letmeseethedeath]

please help me

 

[cinnamonsticks]

I'm so sorry things have been like that for you. I kinda can understand some of those feelings and I feel like we're in a similar situation.
Have you already checked the wiki and other posts on hanging?

If done well it should make you pass out in 10-20 seconds with usually not physical pain, it sadly has this anxiety so it's better if you try to check and organize a bit the best way to do it, including position since it can be different for everyone. If odne with a belt you also have to check that it will not break with your weight/force