I wonder if there's someone with my same problem, I feel like killing most people. And I have long periods that I cannot stop thinking about it.
At the same time I'm very nice with people I like but that's rare.
Yep. Everyone that knows me on this forum knows I'm like this.
It's horribly isolating. And if you have a small moral compass, it's enough to.. Have the most excruciating loss of identity ever. Your brain tells you everyday to do this, but you can't. You just don't want to go down that route for a lot of reasons.
At least that's it's like for myself.
At least on this forum, I'm not afraid to talk about it. Because if you have something like this, you have to talk about it. Because if you don't, you'll be a Jeffrey D., or Ted B., or John W. G. But the problem with opening up in the first fucking place is.. Like what
@Life_and_Death said. Another reason is because you immediately become isolated even further - which worsens the problem.
I doubt there's a cure to this madness. I'm.. I guess I'm blessed to be friends with some people on this forum, despite them knowing this about me. It's genuinely helping me. I'm getting empathy. I mean for the most part, I'm severely apathetic, and I get angry and.. I get those thoughts a lot more than I'm proud to say. But having people that I can actually relate to helps me a lot.
This is a long tangent, but it's something I wish I could talk about more. It's like a Catch-22. The more you talk about it, the more likely you can help people like myself. But, obviously, talking about it is..
Anyway. Yeah, I have those issues. Please don't be on the tv for the wrong reasons. I think we're better than this.