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tchaik18401893

tchaik18401893

tchaikovsky
Dec 31, 2022
121
I don't know how to explain it but just the thought of being blue terrifies me. I feel anxious and uncomfortable thinking about it. I've shattered and thrown away my mirrors because of it. I'm worried that when I ctb I will see myself and freak out. Not really freak out, but just be disgusted. I am already disgusted with myself, so being purple and blue will make me go crazy. Please tell me somebody understands…
 
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T

throwaway3246539

Member
Jan 3, 2023
24
I don't know how to explain it but just the thought of being blue terrifies me. I feel anxious and uncomfortable thinking about it. I've shattered and thrown away my mirrors because of it. I'm worried that when I ctb I will see myself and freak out. Not really freak out, but just be disgusted. I am already disgusted with myself, so being purple and blue will make me go crazy. Please tell me somebody understands…
i feel the exact same way. honestly this is one of the things that scare me the most about this method. what if i see myself turning blue and i freak out and call the ambulance? i also know it will be traumatizing for my family to see my body looking like that but it feels like the most reliable method for me
 
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M

MideonNViscera

Student
Nov 26, 2021
146
Guys, besides the fact that you can just not look in a mirror, chances are by the time you are actually turning blue you will not even be able to.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,374
But at least you have the option of a reliable method and you won't have to resort to one that is much worse and more risky. I think that as long as you follow the correct SN protocol then there's nothing to really worry about with it. If someone was to take SN then they would be gone from this world soon enough so whatever scares that person soon won't be their concern.
 
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E

eternalbliss22

Student
Dec 17, 2022
103
I don't know how to explain it but just the thought of being blue terrifies me. I feel anxious and uncomfortable thinking about it. I've shattered and thrown away my mirrors because of it. I'm worried that when I ctb I will see myself and freak out. Not really freak out, but just be disgusted. I am already disgusted with myself, so being purple and blue will make me go crazy. Please tell me somebody understands…
Personally, I'm not worried about appearance during or after. I'm only worried about effectiveness & painless. I don't even care what happens to my body. I have cats & it's rewarding thinking they might eat me. Fed them in life than why not in death
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,512
Honestly- yes- I have thought about it. I think seeing my fingernails turning blue might scare me- along with all the other- heart racing, breathing issues, sickness symptoms. I did even consider wearing gloves so I wouldn't have to see it! At least I suppose we know what to expect. Maybe that's something.

Also, I do feel sorry for the (likely police) who will have to come and collect me. Still- I intend to warn them in the delayed email as well as notes on the bedroom door as to what I have taken and what to expect. I'll put loads of plastic sheeting down too- to hopefully make it easier to scoop me up. I do feel bad but I guess even natural death isn't exactly pretty and they should at least get to me before I've started to really decompose.

Feel bad but then- none of this would be necessary if assisted suicide was more available. We do what we must at the end of the day- we can only minimize the impact.
 
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stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
753
I don't know how to explain it but just the thought of being blue terrifies me. I feel anxious and uncomfortable thinking about it. I've shattered and thrown away my mirrors because of it. I'm worried that when I ctb I will see myself and freak out. Not really freak out, but just be disgusted. I am already disgusted with myself, so being purple and blue will make me go crazy. Please tell me somebody understands…
Okay so I get random visuals in my head of myself blue and it is the weirdest gross feeling, it literally washes over me and I feel sick. I've had nightmares of loved ones dying and looking this way that feel the same. It's super scary, but I know actually experiencing the death is peaceful.
 
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Szinuus

Szinuus

I see the bus...I can almost see it
Aug 19, 2022
211
I feel sorry for my family for finding me like this after Im gone.
 
O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,818
I don't care what I look like after the Nitrogen CTB--The cops will find me, they're used to this sort of thing--All they gotta do is take off the EEBD hood and call the Coroner---and someone has to dispose of the big empty Nitrogen tank later
 
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J

Jadzia

Name is from Star Trek. I'm not from E. Europe
May 8, 2019
405
Don't look at yourself and wear gloves
 
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P

peacetime

Student
Dec 27, 2022
114
Sorry, I don't have any problem with my skin becoming blueish. I won't look at myself, I'll just listen to music or something as I fall into sleep, hopefully without vomiting too much.
You should probably just remove all mirrors if you use SN.
 
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Yavannah

Yavannah

Autistic & miserable
Jul 18, 2022
187
rule numer 1 is not to look in the mirror!
i know for us ladies acrylic nails can help with blue fingernails
i also thought about getting a dark spraytan
but im not the brightest candle on the cake so no idea if that would do anything?😅
 
Archamais

Archamais

Member
Jan 8, 2023
22
Just got my nails done for the last time to hopefully cover up the blue
 
L

lionetta12

Just a random person
Aug 5, 2022
1,233
I don't know how to explain it but just the thought of being blue terrifies me. I feel anxious and uncomfortable thinking about it. I've shattered and thrown away my mirrors because of it. I'm worried that when I ctb I will see myself and freak out. Not really freak out, but just be disgusted. I am already disgusted with myself, so being purple and blue will make me go crazy. Please tell me somebody understands…
Not really, I've realised that I want to be cremated and I'd prefer for nobody I know to ever see me again once I'm dead. I also don't think that I'd stand up or walk around after I've consumed the SN.
 
LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
I don't know how to explain it but just the thought of being blue terrifies me. I feel anxious and uncomfortable thinking about it. I've shattered and thrown away my mirrors because of it. I'm worried that when I ctb I will see myself and freak out. Not really freak out, but just be disgusted. I am already disgusted with myself, so being purple and blue will make me go crazy. Please tell me somebody understands…
You already shattered them and threw them out??
I mean mirrors or no mirrors, if you end up blue, you end up blue.
Anyhow, I can't even get away from the disgust and anger with having to meet the reflection in all the "black mirrors" of my devices.
Hard to get away from unless you train your brain to accomplish avoidance on a level unheard of.

My appearance situation is terrifying before SN, so the fear of turning blue alone is inconsequential or trivial to me.
At least temporarily. Or in death.
However, should I fail and have to then be discolored or damaged via a side effect and end up looking even stranger, more disturbing, or overall worse on top of it…
um yea, that would be a bit much, especially if it didn't go away..
I would probably be panicked as to how the hell I was going to make another attempt in order to finish the job as quickly as possible.
Guys, besides the fact that you can just not look in a mirror, chances are by the time you are actually turning blue you will not even be able to.
Yea this is not a problem to me if it's successful, our corpse is going to turn from its original living color regardless.
My skin is already fucked over anyway, among others things..
i feel the exact same way. honestly this is one of the things that scare me the most about this method. what if i see myself turning blue and i freak out and call the ambulance? i also know it will be traumatizing for my family to see my body looking like that but it feels like the most reliable method for me
There was at least one person on here who claimed to survive SN (without intervention), they just woke up and they were blue, I think they had another issue too afterward..I thought they said the effects went away but I don't remember exactly.
I recall sort of grilling them..
I was more freaked out that they woke up on their own after following a regimen and apparently doing everything properly.
I would not want to have to be left in some in-between state where I will be forced into medical treatment in order to gather the wherewithal and bodily strength to try again.
Sorry, I don't have any problem with my skin becoming blueish. I won't look at myself, I'll just listen to music or something as I fall into sleep, hopefully without vomiting too much.
You should probably just remove all mirrors if you use SN.
Who is really going to be looking in a mirror after they take it though?
Would be more likely if they looked down at their own hands or something.
Personally, I'm not worried about appearance during or after. I'm only worried about effectiveness & painless. I don't even care what happens to my body. I have cats & it's rewarding thinking they might eat me. Fed them in life than why not in death
Amusing and all, but I hope if you really do have cats that you keep them away from your corpse and SN remnants, I am guessing it could kill them.

I wouldn't really care if mine ate me either if I died in a natural way, but it would disturb me as to why the hell they'd want to.
Not appetizing.
I feel sorry for my family for finding me like this after Im gone.
I don't. I was hoping for a hotel..but I do detest the fact that my corpse is going to be handled or beheld by anyone at all, especially whole.
I wanted it obliterated, wish it could go directly to cremation without being handled.
 
Last edited:
starrvingstar

starrvingstar

suicidal anorexic
Apr 9, 2023
141
ive always wanted to look like smurfette
ive always wanted to look like smurfette
jokes aside i find it quite interesting watching my fingernails turn blue and it isnt scary at all when it happens to me when im cold or randomly etc you can always avoid your reflection go somewhere peaceful and by the end of it your appearance will not even matter at all.
 
thereisnomeaning

thereisnomeaning

To live here is my nightmare
Mar 15, 2023
54
It was quite scary when I drank sn and watched my lips and fingers turning blue, later on I was shown how I looked while at the hospital and it was something I'll never forget, I looked dead, actually dead, I do not care that much about it (or care about it at all) but it's not something pretty either
 
soontobedone

soontobedone

Leave blank
Feb 27, 2023
314
It was quite scary when I drank sn and watched my lips and fingers turning blue, later on I was shown how I looked while at the hospital and it was something I'll never forget, I looked dead, actually dead, I do not care that much about it (or care about it at all) but it's not something pretty either
Hi,
Did you already post your SN experience? I haven't gone through all your posts yet. Just wondering why it didn't work. I have my supplies but am afraid of failure.
 
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thereisnomeaning

thereisnomeaning

To live here is my nightmare
Mar 15, 2023
54
Hi,
Did you already post your SN experience? I haven't gone through all your posts yet. Just wondering why it didn't work. I have my supplies but am afraid of failure.
I didn't, but it didn't work because I was found and treated with methylene blue
I needed hospitalization but didn't have any permanent damage from it
 
soontobedone

soontobedone

Leave blank
Feb 27, 2023
314
I didn't, but it didn't work because I was found and treated with methylene blue
I needed hospitalization but didn't have any permanent damage from it
Thanks for replying. Do you mind commenting on whether you threw up, had throat burn etc?
I'm glad you didn't have any long term effects.
 

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