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DiscussionAnyone looking forward to their final day?
Thread starterMeowTheFlemishCat
Start date
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I don't actually want to die but I have no other option really. My chronic illness has been worsening over the years and has got to the point of being intolerable. I am dreading the whole dying process but I'll do what I have to do.
I'm greatly looking forward to that day, though I'm not sure I want it to be particularly special. Sure, I could play my favorite game, listen to my favorite music, maybe bring sentimental items with me if I'm dying remotely. But if that causes me to lose focus and miss something, or for my behavior and emotions to be noticeably unusual, then I might end up failing CTB by error or intervention. So I'd probably try to keep my emotions grounded and normal, and avoid getting too emotionally invested on any attempt days. Maybe even decide whether I'm doing an attempt only moments before doing it, by way of randomness.
On the other hand, I'd be overjoyed if I knew I was successful, and I don't want pursuing and performing CTB to be something without any positive emotions attached to it. After all, they've been a significant driving force in recent times, helping reignite and preserve my motivation towards it. And in any case, I'm not completely certain I could stop myself from being filled with bittersweet joy at the thought of finally entering the realm of nonexistence.
I am.very much so. At 50 years of age as suffering with severe OCD and depression that hasn't changed much with all the meds and therapy, I am so ready to end it all. Just wish I had the means to end it all peacefully and painlessly. From all the research I've done, it appears there is no such way. With no funds and basically on the verge of being on the streets, there is no hope and I just want to cease to exist.
I don't actually want to die but I have no other option really. My chronic illness has been worsening over the years and has got to the point of being intolerable. I am dreading the whole dying process but I'll do what I have to do.
same here my illness has become intolerable after years of being treatment resistant for severe OCD. Don't know how, but I pretty much have to end it all very soon before I wind up homeless.
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