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Anyone here start eating food thats not healthy for you since deciding to ctb?
Thread starterdestinationlosangel
Start date
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McDonald's and subway. This morning I had the rest of the crisps and cookie from last night (from subway). Spent a few hours at the sanctuary (which was nice - I think it's the only place where my head quiets significantly) and then drove around. It's now 11:47pm. I had a McDonald's around 9ish. I did a bloody course on macronutrients (part of the medical/personal training course) so I know exactly what's good and bad. Yeah I mainly eat shit. Been doing so since last year. Already got cancer. What's going to happen? Get double cancer lmao. Sitting in the car now - I'm allowed 2 hours before I have to leave here.
GP already confirmed with my bloods that the stress is fucking me up and ironically I don't have diabetes even though my parents gas lit me for 30 years accusing me of eating "shit".
I used to drink celery juice daily and avoided sweets. I had a phase wherein I avoided even chicken, eggs, fastfood, bread, etc. Now I eat everything, I've given up on being healthy. Instant noodles will kill me before SN
Reactions:
Lifeaffirmingchoice, destinationlosangel, LunarLight and 1 other person
yah i've been allowing myself to eat a bit more junk food, not too much though. i think ''i'll die so it doesn't matter'' but something stops me from eating too much
I have anorexia so I often starve myself, but what I do eat is usually absolute shit. I'm already killing myself slowly in so many other ways why the fuck not? I also have a strong urge to start using nicotine pouches or vaping as I've heard it's nicotine is an appetite suppressant and I hope the negative health effects fuck me up.
Yes, i was reasonably fit before my current bout of depression, i started eating crap all day and sof drinks, still i see no significant change in my body but i know is part of a adestructive behaviour , i hope we can overcome this soon
Ok so since i decided to ctb, I have started eating so much more junk food than i used to. I used to be a bit of a fitness junkie and eating clean was a way of life. Now I eat as much garbage food as i want. Snacks, processed food, lotsa fast food, sugary things. I just stopped caring.
Anyway taking care of ur health is only if u intend to live a long life. So I'm like might as well stop restricting myself and just go for it.
Its funny in a way cuz I'm slowly becoming what I never wanted to become. Luckily I'm not gaining any weight. For now, thankfully.
The exact same happened to me. Not only with food but also habits or different choices. I think once you think it's over, every effort for being "good/healthy" seems worthless
I have binge eating disorder and I've been eating like shit for the past month and a half; basically ever since I made up my decision to ctb for good this time. Gained around 4kgs within this timeline, which wasn't difficult to do because my metabolism has been ruined for years due to overexercising, I haven't stepped into the gym for a while which used to be a massive cope, been smoking regularly for almost 3 months now and today (April 14th) is my ex's birthday, so all the more reason to indulge in self-destructive behaviour.
I myself am addicted to junk food. I have also eaten fast food and treats before I was suicidal. Even if I don't kill myself. That's how I commit slow suicide. The last time I saw a doctor, my cholesterol levels were high and my blood sugar showed the onset of diabetes.
Junk food is comforting and I reward myself with it. This is really not nice. I am also very overweight because of this addiction.
I still have to wait to CBT for a specific event that will happen in the next 5-10 years I believe. So I have to take care not to feel to bad during that time. I will eat what I want, but keep in mind that more than 0.5L of icecream a day for a week will make me sick. But everything long term like back pain is not being fixed by me anymore.
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